Labor of Love

The world of dating is much different than the one in which your parents met. Do you know why?

Well, economics certainly played a part. To understand this better, let’s wander back briefly in history to the Industrial Revolution, an event that transformed courtship among the working and middle classes.

Before the late nineteenth century, “dating” as we know it now wasn’t really a thing. Instead, matchmaking was controlled by one’s parents or other relatives. In the 1880s, however, the industrial boom led to an increased need for labor, and many young women moved to cities to work in factories, in shops as salespeople, or as servants. This influx of female workers transformed life in the city. Suddenly, city dwellers could witness a previously rare sight – men and women spending time together in public spaces, even kissing in parks and secluded alleyways.

Couples showed affection in public mainly because they had nowhere else to go. Apartments were small and crowded, leaving little room for privacy; workers on limited incomes couldn’t afford an evening at the theater or other places of entertainment.

In contrast, society’s expanding middle class, built with the new wealth from industrialization, could “call” on each other. This popular method of courtship basically had men competing for the favors of women by visiting them at home.

If a man was interested in a particular woman, he’d show up at her home and knock on her front door. A servant would usually answer and take the man’s name and inform the woman of the “caller.” If the woman was interested in the caller, he’d be invited inside. The pair could then talk, sing and enjoy each other’s company for a time, yet always under supervision.

Such a private ritual reflected the wealth of the growing middle classes. Unlike workers who had to steal time in the shadows in public, wealthier individuals could meet suitors in private.