Deeper Dating Book Summary - Deeper Dating Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro

Deeper Dating summary

Ken Page

How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy

4.3 (314 ratings)
18 mins
Table of Contents

    Deeper Dating
    Summary of 6 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 6

    Discovering your Core Gifts will lead you to love.

    If you’ve ever tried to find your way through a maze, you’ll know that it’s a challenge. Some routes lead to dead ends, while others make you feel like you’re going around in circles. When you think about it, navigating a maze isn’t that different from looking for love. Except in the search for love, the obstacles aren’t fun challenges – they’re points of frustration.

    But here’s something interesting: There’s a trick to navigating mazes, and it applies to finding love, too.

    When you start at the center of a maze and work your way out, it’s easy to see exactly which route to take. And you can find love in the same way: by starting at your center – or, more precisely, your core.

    The key message here is: Discovering your Core Gifts will lead you to love.

    Your Core Gifts are the parts of you that are highly sensitive. When they’re stimulated, you can be incredibly inspired or terribly hurt. And since these are your Core Gifts, they’re not the same as other people’s. For instance, an experience that moves you deeply might do nothing for someone else. Or a friend might easily brush off a slight that leaves you fuming.

    Being highly sensitive means that your Core Gifts are also the areas most affected by love and intimacy. This makes connecting with them essential when looking for a partner. But in order to connect with these gifts, you need to identify them. And you can do this by exploring what brings you joy as well as pain.

    Reflect on times you’ve felt joy and fulfillment in a relationship – romantic or otherwise – and ask yourself which parts of you those moments spoke to the most. For example, maybe a partner supported and encouraged your ambition, making you feel seen. This would make ambition one of your Core Gifts.

    Then consider things about which you’ve felt pain or shame. It’s common to feel hurt or insecure when your Core Gifts are misunderstood or disregarded. If you’re ashamed of being a quiet person, for instance, your Core Gift might be deep humility that hasn’t been appreciated or healthily expressed. 

    By paying attention to what makes you feel inspired or hurt, you can discover your Core Gifts. And this is where the magic happens, right at the heart of the maze: Your deepest connections will be with people who value the gifts you have to offer.

    Want to see all full key ideas from Deeper Dating?

    Key ideas in Deeper Dating

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is Deeper Dating about?

    Deeper Dating (2014) is a roadmap to intimacy and loving relationships. It breaks down how looking inward can help us identify the kinds of people we’ll connect with most deeply, and shares tools for finding these people and fostering relationships that will inspire and fulfill us.

    Best quote from Deeper Dating

    When were feeling brave, and connected to the warmth of our humanity, our chances of meeting someone special increase exponentially.

    —Ken Page
    example alt text

    Who should read Deeper Dating?

    • Singles frustrated by popular dating advice
    • Couples looking to strengthen their bonds
    • Those who want to understand attraction and relationships

    About the Author

    KEN PAGE, LCSW, is a renowned psychotherapist, and a leading voice of hope and wisdom for everyone seeking to find and cultivate healthy, lasting love. He is the host of The Deeper Dating Podcast, the co-founder of; and the author of Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy.

    Categories with Deeper Dating

    Books like Deeper Dating

    People ❤️ Blinkist
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked

    Start growing with Blinkist now
    28 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    Of Blinkist members create a better reading habit*
    *Based on survey data from Blinkist customers
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial