Name: Mindwise
Rating: 3.7 (84 reviews)
Author: Nicholas Epley

What’s in it for me? Learn how other people think by getting to know your own mind better.

We’re all mind readers. Each of us has the ability to divine the desires, wishes, thoughts and feelings of other people.

But while you might believe that understanding others – your friends and family in particular – isn’t that difficult, the fact is that we all make mistakes when it comes to reading each other’s minds.

In Mindwise, you’ll explore the surprising variety of common errors that we all make in our attempts to understand one another. You’ll discover the fascinating reasons behind such misunderstandings, including the stereotypes we hold, which have a major impact on our lives – and even our lifespan.

To become a more effective and more accurate “mind reader,” the following blinks present a compelling case for the need to first understand our own minds. Learning how your own mind works will increase your ability to be more patient in your discussions and interactions with others, and enable you to see that even though you believe your opinions to be correct, you may not always be right.

In these blinks, you’ll also discover

why it’s advantageous to have a positive view on aging;
why tripping in public is not as embarrassing as you think it is; and
how talking to your car makes you reluctant to sell it.

We are often too confident that we understand our own minds.

Are you certain that you know what your partner is thinking when you see her frowning at you?

You might think you do, but the fact is, you can only guess. But at least you know everything about your own thoughts, right?

Wrong! Unfortunately, we don’t even have access to the mental processes that construct our own behavior.

Even though we think we know ourselves well, the truth is that we’re only aware of the “final product” of our thoughts. This is because the majority of our mental processes occur unconsciously, beyond our direct control.

The mind functions by making associations, meaning that two thoughts or behaviors that were previously connected can trigger one another.

For example: when you show a person the word “me” and then ask him to fill in the last two letters of the word “go_ _,” he will write “good,” rather than “goal.”

Why? Because he associates “me” with “good.”

Yet because of such associations, we may come up with an inaccurate self image. The connection between “me” and “good” may seem logical as you believe you are a good person; but really, it’s just that your brain simply associates the two words automatically.

Thus because we cannot access our thought processes completely, we then construct stories to make sense of our behavior.

In one study, participants were shown photos of two separate people and asked to choose the one they found more attractive.

Later, the same participants were handed a photo and asked to explain why they’d picked it. However, the photo was not the one they’d originally chosen; it was the other one, of the “unattractive” person.

Surprisingly, only 27 percent realized that the picture they were given was not the one they’d chosen. Even more so, those who didn’t realize the error then offered a compelling explanation for choosing the photo they were shown.

People create explanations for their own behavior in the same way as they try to read the minds of others: they observe their external behavior and then try to come up with a suitable explanation.

When approaching a problem, you start from your own egocentric point of view.

One of the biggest obstacles in understanding other people is that we see things only from our own perspective.

It’s crucial to remember that the way that you perceive a situation is unique. It follows logically that other people may have a totally different impression than your own.

Snap judgments based on stereotypes muddle our thinking.

You’re walking past a man with no shoes and greasy hair and who smells like rotten garbage. What do you think about him?

Most likely, you’ll make a snap judgment and place him in a specific category – homeless – without any further reflection. We all categorize people in this way on a daily basis.

Key ideas in Mindwise

What is Mindwise about?

In Mindwise, author Nicholas Epley looks at our ability to read the minds of other people, arguing that we believe ourselves to be far more adept at “mind reading” than we actually are. He reveals the common mistakes we make when trying to figure out what other people feel or want, and provides an entirely new perspective on how to handle both your own stereotypes and those of other people.

About the Author

Nicholas Epley is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. In 2001, he earned his doctorate in psychology from Cornell University, and later became an assistant professor at Harvard University. His research includes studying intuitive human judgment and social cognition.