The best 41 Dating books

How to Be a 3% Man (2013) provides straightforward practice methods, tips and guidelines for meeting and dating women. It teaches you what to say to women, when to say it, and what her responses mean.

The Five Core Conversations for Couples (2020) examines the five important topics every couple should talk about. It offers expert guidance on the core facets of a relationship that can help you strengthen yours. 

The Power of the Pussy (2014) shares the twelve secret “powers” that women can use to transform their lives by changing the ways they perceive men and dating. Through straight-forward advice and positive encouragement, author Kara King gives readers tools to break the cycle of bad relationships and create the life they want with the man of their dreams.

The Science of Happily Ever After (2014) digs into the history of mating throughout the history of the human species and answers the question of why some couples live happily ever after and some don’t. Part history and anthropology lesson, part self-help, it offers explanations and advice for anyone seeking love.

The Overthinking In Relationships Fix (2020) is a guide to getting rid of toxic overthinking patterns that put your romantic relationships on the verge of a breakup. It offers advice and easy-to-do techniques to release your worrying thoughts and strengthen your bond with your partner.

Love Unfu*ked (2022) is a no-nonsense, in-your-face guide to identifying and fixing the one thing that’s stopping you from having a meaningful and fulfilling relationship: you. By accepting hard facts about yourself and your habits, you can begin making the changes necessary to be the best version of yourself and stop being the problem that you don’t even know you are.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (1992) is the best-selling relationship book that helps men and women understand each other and reconcile their differences. The book’s author, John Gray, uses the playful metaphor of opposite sexes being from different planets, and creates a translation guide that can help men, “Martians,” and women, “Venusians,” to understand each other better. This guide can help them build intimacy and create stronger relationships.

The Game (2005) gives readers an inside look into the “pickup community” frequented by men desperate to convince women to sleep with them. These blinks share the advice of a leading seduction guru, and the less than great consequences of his successes.

Love Worth Making (2018) is a guide to enhancing sex and intimacy within committed partnerships. Drawing from real-life examples of sex and couples therapy sessions, it shows how both daily life and trauma affect our sexual feelings. It takes an emotional approach to untangling sexual problems and offers ideas on maintaining an erotic climate in a relationship.

How to Be an Adult in Relationships (2002) is the definitive guide to effective relationships. It focuses on how we can all become more loving, and more open to love, both for our own benefit and that of the wider world. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, author David Richo explores five concepts of mindful loving, and how they can be applied to relationships throughout our lives.

The Relationship Cure (2002) prescribes a surprisingly simple solution to the problems that ail many of our relationships. Drawing on psychologist John M. Gottman’s extensive research, its insights and tips are equally applicable to relationships between romantic partners, friends, family members, and coworkers. 

Deeper Dating (2014) is a roadmap to intimacy and loving relationships. It breaks down how looking inward can help us identify the kinds of people we’ll connect with most deeply, and shares tools for finding these people and fostering relationships that will inspire and fulfill us.

Eight Dates (2019) helps couples navigate the ups and downs of a relationship. Whether you’ve been married for years or have just met the love of your life, the bedrock of any relationship is quality conversation. Uncover your partner’s innermost needs and desires by going out on the eight themed dates set out by the authors in this book. But don’t stop there – the wisdom from these eight recommended dates can be applied to any date you and your partner go on.

Polysecure (2020) unites attachment theory, which explains the different types of attachment people form with each other, with consensual nonmonogamy – the increasingly popular practice of having multiple romantic partners. By learning more about your attachment style, you can develop healthy relationship habits, even in nonmonogamy.

The Ethical Slut (1997) has long been the trusted handbook for anyone exploring sex, romance, and intimacy outside the constraints of monogamy. An updated 2017 edition combines time-tested strategies for navigating polyamory with advice on how to embrace an even greater diversity of orientations and relationship configurations.

Loving Bravely (2017) is a primer on finding love through introspection and self-discovery. This guide to love teaches invaluable lessons about how to build relationships that actually last.

Sex At Dawn argues that the idealization of monogamy in Western societies is essentially incompatible with human nature. The book makes a compelling case for our innately promiscuous nature by exploring the history and evolution of human sexuality, with a strong focus on our primate ancestors and the invention of agriculture. Arguing that our distorted view of sexuality ruins our health and keeps us from being happy, Sex At Dawn explains how returning to a more casual approach to sex could benefit interpersonal relationships and societies in general.

Relationship Goals (2020) offers a blueprint for developing long-lasting relationships with your friends, your spouse, and God. Narrating his own experiences of heartache and healing, author Michael Todd examines common obstacles in modern relationships and gives tips for overcoming them. He also demonstrates how to set precise goals to help you aim for the right relationships.

The State of Affairs (2017) tackles the tough subject of infidelity. Cheating is widely condemned as immoral, and yet, at some point or another, many people do it anyway. This book offers a fresh look at infidelity and asks a difficult question: Is it such a bad thing after all?

Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship (2009) explains why all people in committed, long-term relationships run into sexual problems. Driven by case studies of real couples in sex therapy, the book demonstrates how people in relationships can transform their perspective – and confront themselves and each other – to reawaken sexual passion.

Daring to Trust (2010) offers a clear path to finding the confidence to trust yourself and the world around you. You’ll learn to overcome past trauma and accept life for what it has to offer, discovering how to live in the moment and work toward a better future.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go (2015) is a comprehensive survival guide for those in a relationship with a narcissist. Dr. Ramani breaks down what narcissism is, highlights the red flags to look out for, and offers two concrete roadmaps – one for deciding to stay, and one for deciding to go. 

Marry Him (2011) is an honest, open and humorous quest for what it means to find the perfect man. It confronts common barriers to finding a partner, like chasing sparks over stability and the never-ending checklist of ideal qualities, and makes a case for rethinking what is important in a partner, drawing on scientific wisdom and often hilarious personal anecdotes along the way.

Love Sense (2013) is an exploration of the science of love. These blinks suggest that humans instinctively desire to connect with each other, and that relationship problems arise when lovers no longer feel secure. They also offer practical strategies for how to develop your love sense – that is, your ability to create fulfilling and long-lasting bonds with your loved ones.

Untrue (2018) aims to challenge the long-held assumption that women are less interested in sex than men. Diving into history and the details of the human body, Untrue reveals that not only do women have strong sexual desires, they’re wired to seek satisfaction from a variety of partners.

How to Fix a Broken Heart (2018) is a message of hope addressed to the broken-hearted and grief-stricken. Time, Guy Winch reminds his readers, might be the great healer but that doesn’t mean you can’t expedite the recovery process. Psychologically penetrating and based on the latest scientific research, this handbook for the lovelorn will see you back on your feet in no time.

Talk To Me Like I’m Someone You Love (1993) is a relationship repair tool that coaches couples on how to speak to each other more genuinely.

Women Who Love Too Much (1985) explores the unhealthy relationships that some women find themselves in again and again. Using real-life case studies and devastating insights, the blinks explain the true reasons behind women’s fascination with unsuitable men and describe how we can move past our insecurities for good.

The Curious History of Dating (2017) guides readers through the history of dating and relationships in the United Kingdom. From the formal dances and rules of the 1700s to the growth of online dating in recent years, these blinks show that dating and finding true love has always been a difficult affair. But thankfully, today it’s easier than ever before.

Everything I Know About Love (2018) is Dolly Alderton’s very funny and painfully honest recollection of her early twenties, and all the bad dates, heartbreaks, grimy flat shares, and steadfast friendships this period of her life entailed. In 2022, the book was adapted for television by the BBC.

Unrequited (2015) is a guide to the human obsession with people who will never love us. These blinks explore how romantic obsession affects both the obsessed and the object of their desire, why some people are more prone to stalker behavior than others and how to deal with the fallout of unrequited love.

The internet and modern technology have revolutionized the way we communicate, learn, work and live. They’ve even revolutionized our concept of love. Modern Romance (2015) explains how our idea of “love” has changed in recent generations, and how you can make the most of today’s technology in your quest to find it.

121 First Dates (2016) is a woman’s guide to online dating. These blinks will help you create a winning profile, prepare for your first date and deal with the difficulties that crop up when looking for Mr. Right.

The No Contact Rule is the tough-talking guide you need if you’re feeling battered by a breakup, can’t seem to let go of your ex, or are stuck in an on-again off-again relationship. Here you’ll find tips and tricks on how to find emotional distance, refocus on yourself, and finally attain closure.

Mr Unavailable & the Fallback Girl (2008) provides a lifeline for anyone who keeps getting messed around by emotionally unavailable partners. With searing personal insights, tough love, and a large dose of humor, Mr Unavailable is an essential guide to breaking destructive relationship patterns and finding love.

The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship (2012) is aimed at women who expect too much from unavailable, unreliable men, and want to change their ways. By examining the reasons that women delude themselves about men, as well as the specific lies they believe, it ultimately points the way toward happier relationships and more realistic dreams.

Love is full of patterns – from the number of sexual partners we have to the way we select potential mates from dating websites. In The Mathematics of Love (2015), Hannah Fry sheds some light on these patterns and teaches you how to calculate your chances of finding The One, make a mathematical argument to justify approaching someone in a bar, and to use a mathematical trick to plan your wedding.

Why Love Hurts (2012) is about the history of love, romance and relationships. These blinks detail the gender differences, cultural expectations and social structures that shape our conception of love and make it one of the more difficult emotions to experience.

How Luck Happens (2018) debunks the myth that luck is something we have zero control over, revealing that we certainly can influence the level of luckiness in our lives. Packed with examples and practical advice, this book shows how luck can be improved in the workplace as well as the dating scene.

Spiritual Partnership (2009) is about the new relationships that can develop when we tap into a deep, invisible consciousness. Becoming “multisensory” and engaging in spiritual partnerships with others will lead you to a life of freedom, joy, and authentic power.

In Praise of Love (2012) is a passionate defense of love in an age when romance is threatened from all directions. The product of a dialogue between French philosopher Alain Badiou and journalist Nicholas Truong, the book lays bare how our sex-obsessed media, our individualistic striving, and our online-dating culture are all setting love up to fail. Its thesis: love needs to be reinvented for the modern world.