Should I Stay Or Should I Go Book Summary - Should I Stay Or Should I Go Book explained in key points
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Should I Stay Or Should I Go summary

Ramani Durvasula

Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist

4.1 (77 ratings)
17 mins

Brief summary

Should I Stay Or Should I Go by Ramani Durvasula is a self-help book that explores how to break free from toxic relationships. With practical tools, real-life examples, and expert insight, it provides guidance on how to move towards a happier and healthier life.

Table of Contents

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go
    Summary of 8 key ideas

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    Key idea 1 of 8

    The bus that never arrives

    If you take only three words from this entire Blink, let them be this: narcissists don’t change. These three words, however, can change your life. 

    A review of the current literature on pathological narcissism reveals that there is little evidence of significant, sustainable treatment for this personality disorder. Improvement has been demonstrated in a handful of case studies, but on the whole, narcissism is a nut psychologists have yet to crack. 

    Now, this might not be the news you wanted to hear. But, like a bitter pill, it’s a truth that nonetheless needs to be swallowed for your health and well-being in the long run. 

    When you understand that narcissism is a disorder that is resistant to current methods of treatment, you recognize that continuing to throw good money after bad (in the form of time, love, and energy, for instance) is a futile strategy. You see that committing your life to deciphering the narcissist code is a ridiculous thing to ask of yourself. Remember, modern science doesn’t even have an answer yet. 

    It’s admirable to want to see the good and potential in others. It’s commendable to question how you can contribute to better outcomes in your closest relationship. But with narcissists, the reality is there’s only so much you can do. With narcissists, the odds are stacked against you from the start.

    So instead of waiting for a bus that will never arrive, start walking. Whatever direction you choose, you’ll reclaim your health and well-being with every step. 

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    What is Should I Stay Or Should I Go about?

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go (2015) is a comprehensive survival guide for those in a relationship with a narcissist. Dr. Ramani breaks down what narcissism is, highlights the red flags to look out for, and offers two concrete roadmaps – one for deciding to stay, and one for deciding to go. 

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go Review

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go (2021) is a thought-provoking book that dives into the complexities of relationships and helps readers make informed decisions about staying or leaving. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • It offers insightful analysis and practical advice, empowering readers to navigate the challenging territory of relationships with clarity and confidence.
    • Through compelling stories and expert research, the book sheds light on the common patterns and dynamics that can hinder or enhance a relationship.
    • With its relatable anecdotes and relatable tone, it manages to captivate readers and tackle a potentially somber topic in an engaging and relatable way.

    Who should read Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    • Anyone not feeling seen, heard, or respected by a partner
    • People dealing with a narcissistic parent, friend, or colleague
    • Those struggling to decide whether they should stay in or leave a relationship

    About the Author

    Dr. Ramani Durvasula (“Don’t You Know Who I Am?”) is an American psychologist specializing in the effects of narcissistic and antagonistic personality types on relationships, health, and societies. Dr. Ramani is currently Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, and the founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. 

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    Should I Stay Or Should I Go FAQs 

    What is the main message of Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    The main message of Should I Stay Or Should I Go is to help readers navigate their decision to stay in or leave a relationship.

    How long does it take to read Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    The reading time for Should I Stay Or Should I Go varies, but it can be read in a few hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Should I Stay Or Should I Go a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go is worth reading as it provides valuable insights and practical advice for making relationship decisions. It's a must-read for anyone seeking clarity in their love life.

    Who is the author of Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    The author of Should I Stay Or Should I Go is Ramani Durvasula.

    What to read after Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Should I Stay Or Should I Go, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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    • Gaslighting by Stephanie Moulton Sarkis
    • Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Stephanie M. Kriesberg
    • Managing Up by Mary Abbajay
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    • Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop
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