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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Listen to the Intro
Should I Stay Or Should I Go summary
Ramani Durvasula
Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist
17 mins
Table of Contents
Should I Stay Or Should I Go
Summary of 8 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 8
The bus that never arrives
If you take only three words from this entire Blink, let them be this: narcissists don’t change. These three words, however, can change your life.
A review of the current literature on pathological narcissism reveals that there is little evidence of significant, sustainable treatment for this personality disorder. Improvement has been demonstrated in a handful of case studies, but on the whole, narcissism is a nut psychologists have yet to crack.
Now, this might not be the news you wanted to hear. But, like a bitter pill, it’s a truth that nonetheless needs to be swallowed for your health and well-being in the long run.
When you understand that narcissism is a disorder that is resistant to current methods of treatment, you recognize that continuing to throw good money after bad (in the form of time, love, and energy, for instance) is a futile strategy. You see that committing your life to deciphering the narcissist code is a ridiculous thing to ask of yourself. Remember, modern science doesn’t even have an answer yet.
It’s admirable to want to see the good and potential in others. It’s commendable to question how you can contribute to better outcomes in your closest relationship. But with narcissists, the reality is there’s only so much you can do. With narcissists, the odds are stacked against you from the start.
So instead of waiting for a bus that will never arrive, start walking. Whatever direction you choose, you’ll reclaim your health and well-being with every step.
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What is Should I Stay Or Should I Go about?
Should I Stay Or Should I Go (2015) is a comprehensive survival guide for those in a relationship with a narcissist. Dr. Ramani breaks down what narcissism is, highlights the red flags to look out for, and offers two concrete roadmaps – one for deciding to stay, and one for deciding to go.
Who should read Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
- Anyone not feeling seen, heard, or respected by a partner
- People dealing with a narcissistic parent, friend, or colleague
- Those struggling to decide whether they should stay in or leave a relationship
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