Should I Stay Or Should I Go Book Summary - Should I Stay Or Should I Go Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro
00:00

Should I Stay Or Should I Go summary

Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist

4.2 (87 ratings)
17 mins

Brief summary

Should I Stay Or Should I Go by Ramani Durvasula is a self-help book that explores how to break free from toxic relationships. With practical tools, real-life examples, and expert insight, it provides guidance on how to move towards a happier and healthier life.

Table of Contents

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go
    Summary of 8 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 8

    The bus that never arrives

    If you take only three words from this entire Blink, let them be this: narcissists don’t change. These three words, however, can change your life. 

    A review of the current literature on pathological narcissism reveals that there is little evidence of significant, sustainable treatment for this personality disorder. Improvement has been demonstrated in a handful of case studies, but on the whole, narcissism is a nut psychologists have yet to crack. 

    Now, this might not be the news you wanted to hear. But, like a bitter pill, it’s a truth that nonetheless needs to be swallowed for your health and well-being in the long run. 

    When you understand that narcissism is a disorder that is resistant to current methods of treatment, you recognize that continuing to throw good money after bad (in the form of time, love, and energy, for instance) is a futile strategy. You see that committing your life to deciphering the narcissist code is a ridiculous thing to ask of yourself. Remember, modern science doesn’t even have an answer yet. 

    It’s admirable to want to see the good and potential in others. It’s commendable to question how you can contribute to better outcomes in your closest relationship. But with narcissists, the reality is there’s only so much you can do. With narcissists, the odds are stacked against you from the start.

    So instead of waiting for a bus that will never arrive, start walking. Whatever direction you choose, you’ll reclaim your health and well-being with every step. 

    Want to see all full key ideas from Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    Key ideas in Should I Stay Or Should I Go

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is Should I Stay Or Should I Go about?

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go (2015) is a comprehensive survival guide for those in a relationship with a narcissist. Dr. Ramani breaks down what narcissism is, highlights the red flags to look out for, and offers two concrete roadmaps – one for deciding to stay, and one for deciding to go. 

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go Review

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go (2021) is a thought-provoking book that dives into the complexities of relationships and helps readers make informed decisions about staying or leaving. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • It offers insightful analysis and practical advice, empowering readers to navigate the challenging territory of relationships with clarity and confidence.
    • Through compelling stories and expert research, the book sheds light on the common patterns and dynamics that can hinder or enhance a relationship.
    • With its relatable anecdotes and relatable tone, it manages to captivate readers and tackle a potentially somber topic in an engaging and relatable way.

    Who should read Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    • Anyone not feeling seen, heard, or respected by a partner
    • People dealing with a narcissistic parent, friend, or colleague
    • Those struggling to decide whether they should stay in or leave a relationship

    About the Author

    Dr. Ramani Durvasula (“Don’t You Know Who I Am?”) is an American psychologist specializing in the effects of narcissistic and antagonistic personality types on relationships, health, and societies. Dr. Ramani is currently Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, and the founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. 

    Categories with Should I Stay Or Should I Go

    Book summaries like Should I Stay Or Should I Go

    People ❤️ Blinkist 
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked these summaries

    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    33 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    10+ years
    Experience igniting personal growth
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go FAQs 

    What is the main message of Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    The main message of Should I Stay Or Should I Go is to help readers navigate their decision to stay in or leave a relationship.

    How long does it take to read Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    The reading time for Should I Stay Or Should I Go varies, but it can be read in a few hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Should I Stay Or Should I Go a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go is worth reading as it provides valuable insights and practical advice for making relationship decisions. It's a must-read for anyone seeking clarity in their love life.

    Who is the author of Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    The author of Should I Stay Or Should I Go is Ramani Durvasula.

    What to read after Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Should I Stay Or Should I Go, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • It's Not You by Ramani Durvasula
    • In Sheep’s Clothing by George Simon Jr.
    • Rethinking Narcissism by Craig Malkin
    • You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse by Melanie Tonia Evans
    • Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Stephanie M. Kriesberg
    • Hardcore Self Help by Robert Duff
    • Why We Remember by Charan Ranganath
    • Phishing for Phools by George A. Akerlof and Robert J. Shiller
    • Managing Up by Mary Abbajay
    • Waking the Tiger by Peter A. Levine with Ann Frederick