Unrequited Book Summary - Unrequited Book explained in key points
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Unrequited summary

Lisa A. Phillips

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Romantic Obsession

4.3 (47 ratings)
16 mins

Brief summary

"Unrequited" by Lisa A. Phillips delves into the psychology and emotions surrounding one-sided love. The author draws from personal experience and interviews with others to offer insights and guidance for navigating unrequited feelings.

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    In society’s eyes, unrequited love is an acceptable pursuit for men, but not for women – unless it’s part of fiction.

    When it comes to gender equality, we’ve come a long way; women today face far fewer obstacles than in decades past, and can today become presidents, astronauts or CEOs.

    However, they apparently still don’t have the freedom to pursue unrequited love. Society is more comfortable with women being the object of desire and, therefore, pursuit, while leaving the pursuing to men.

    In fact, a man’s traditional role in society is very much attached to his passionate, and even aggressive, pursuit of unrequited love. For instance, there’s no end to stories of romantic knights who put their lives on the line to win the hearts of princesses.

    On the other hand, when a woman acts this way, society dismisses her as neurotic and pathetic. In the end, it’s considered shameful for a woman to be undesired by the man she loves, and a woman in such a situation would face even more hate if she steadfastly pursued this love, trying to make him desire her.

    But why does society subscribe to this double standard?

    Well, some people have hypothesized that it’s the result of the supposedly biologically wasteful nature of a woman investing her limited years of childbearing in pursuit of someone with whom she might not have children.

    So, unrequited love, at least when it comes to women, doesn’t work out so well in real life – but it does make for some great stories. After all, unrequited love is far more romantic than its reciprocated counterpart.

    For example, the ancient Egyptian hieroglyph for love translates to a long desire and maybe, deep down, all humans still believe that true love is something that requires the investment of profound energy and effort.

    Not only that, but while women who pine after indifferent lovers are scorned in the real world, we actually like stories about the very same thing. Just take Jane Austen’s novels, which often revolve around a heroine who desires a man who does not reciprocate her love. The difference is, in books, the story ends once the love is requited.

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    What is Unrequited about?

    Unrequited (2015) is a guide to the human obsession with people who will never love us. These blinks explore how romantic obsession affects both the obsessed and the object of their desire, why some people are more prone to stalker behavior than others and how to deal with the fallout of unrequited love.

    Unrequited Review

    Unrequited (2015) by Lisa A. Phillips explores the depths of unrequited love and its impact on our lives. Here are three reasons why this book is worth reading:

    • With heartfelt stories and personal experiences, the book offers a raw and honest portrayal of the pain and longing associated with unrequited love.
    • Through psychological analysis and expert insights, it provides a deeper understanding of the reasons behind unrequited love and how to heal from it.
    • By sharing practical strategies and empowering advice, the book helps readers navigate the complexities of unrequited love and find their own paths to healing and self-discovery.

    Best quote from Unrequited

    We dont understand (...) what light female obsession can shed on our understanding of relationships and gender.

    —Lisa A. Phillips
    example alt text

    Who should read Unrequited?

    • People who can’t let go of their ex
    • Women who are unsure whether it’s appropriate for them to initiate a relationship
    • Romantically obsessed creatives

    About the Author

    Lisa A. Phillips wrote the book Public Radio: Behind the Voices and contributes to the New York Times, Psychology Today and Cosmopolitan. She is the recipient of multiple reporting awards and is a journalism professor at the State University of New York at New Paltz.

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    Unrequited FAQs 

    What is the main message of Unrequited?

    The main message of Unrequited is understanding and coping with unrequited love in relationships.

    How long does it take to read Unrequited?

    The reading time for Unrequited varies depending on the reader, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in about 15 minutes.

    Is Unrequited a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Unrequited is a worthwhile read for anyone looking to explore the complexities of unrequited love. It provides insights and strategies for dealing with the pain and moving forward.

    Who is the author of Unrequited?

    The author of Unrequited is Lisa A. Phillips.

    What to read after Unrequited?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Unrequited, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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