The best 17 The Psychology of Love books

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The Psychology of Love Books: Why We Love by Helen Fisher

Why We Love

Helen Fisher
The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
4.3 (176 ratings)

What's Why We Love about?

Helen Fisher’s Why We Love (2004) is not only a report on her latest astonishing research but a sensitive description of the infinite facets of romantic love. This book is a scientifically grounded examination of love that reveals how, why and who we love.

This is a Blinkist staff pick

“Curious to find out why love affects our brains the same way as cocaine? Want to understand how evolution is linked to the prevailing structure of monogamy? A perfect title for those interested in the biological side of love.”

– Justyna, Web Product Designer

Who should read Why We Love?

  • Anyone who wants to understand romantic love
  • Anyone interested in emotions and the brain
  • Anyone who wants to maintain the feeling of romantic love in their relationship

2
The Psychology of Love Books: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller

Attached

Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love
4.3 (292 ratings)

What's Attached about?

Attached (2010) is all about how to make your relationships work. This book offers you valuable insight into the science of adult attachment and how to use this insight in everyday life, whether you’re in a committed relationship or are still looking for love. It also provides tips and tricks on how to find the perfect partner and reveals why some people just aren’t compatible.

Who should read Attached?

  • Anyone who wants to make a current relationship happier and more fulfilling
  • Anyone who is struggling to find “the one”
  • Anyone who just doesn’t understand why their relationships never work out

3
The Psychology of Love Books: A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon

A General Theory of Love

Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon
4.4 (138 ratings)

What's A General Theory of Love about?

In A General Theory of Love, three psychiatrists take a scientific look at the phenomenon of love. Arguing that our emotional experience in adulthood is profoundly influenced by our childhood relationships, the authors suggest ways to undo this emotional “programming” and establish healthier relationships with friends and romantic partners.

Who should read A General Theory of Love?

  • Anyone interested in the psychology of love
  • Anyone interested in neuroscience
  • Anyone who wants to know what love is

4
The Psychology of Love Books: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages

Gary Chapman
The Secret to Love That Lasts
4.5 (857 ratings)

What's The 5 Love Languages about?

The 5 Love Languages (2015) is a contemporary guide to developing a relationships of lifelong love that can easily overcome the hurdles that modern couples face. These blinks detail the five ways people give and feel love, and how any couple can use this knowledge to make their relationship more nurturing, affectionate and compassionate.

Who should read The 5 Love Languages?

  • Lovers wanting to know what to expect from marriage and how to make theirs work
  • Couples in crisis
  • People who want to meet their partner’s needs and have theirs met in return

5
The Psychology of Love Books: Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

Getting The Love You Want

Harville Hendrix
A Guide for Couples
4.3 (262 ratings)

What's Getting The Love You Want about?

Getting The Love You Want (1988) offers practical advice on how to save a failing relationship and build a stronger one. It highlights a unique therapy program that offers a step-by-step guide to helping partners address repressed childhood desires and become more compassionate individuals.

Who should read Getting The Love You Want?

  • Couples looking to reboot a relationship
  • People curious about Freudian psychoanalysis

6
The Psychology of Love Books: Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

Hold Me Tight

Sue Johnson
Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships
4.3 (245 ratings)

What's Hold Me Tight about?

Hold Me Tight (2008) focuses on one of life’s greatest challenges: building and sustaining an intimate relationship. Drawing on the author’s own highly successful couple therapy form EFT (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy) – based on the idea that the quality of relationships are defined by key emotional moments, both positive and negative – these blinks show you how to form a deeper, and more enduring bond with your partner.

Who should read Hold Me Tight?

  • Recent singles who wonder what went wrong
  • Couples who want to sustain and nurture their relationship
  • Friends and family of people in rocky relationships

7
The Psychology of Love Books: Love Sense by Sue Johnson

Love Sense

Sue Johnson
The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
4.4 (349 ratings)

What's Love Sense about?

Love Sense (2013) is an exploration of the science of love. These blinks suggest that humans instinctively desire to connect with each other, and that relationship problems arise when lovers no longer feel secure. They also offer practical strategies for how to develop your love sense – that is, your ability to create fulfilling and long-lasting bonds with your loved ones.

Who should read Love Sense?

  • People aspiring to form long-lasting relationships
  • Those who have been in and out of fleeting romances
  • Lovers struggling with relationship difficulties

8
The Psychology of Love Books: The Relationship Cure by John M. Gottman and Joan DeClaire

The Relationship Cure

John M. Gottman and Joan DeClaire
A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
4.6 (786 ratings)

What's The Relationship Cure about?

The Relationship Cure (2002) prescribes a surprisingly simple solution to the problems that ail many of our relationships. Drawing on psychologist John M. Gottman’s extensive research, its insights and tips are equally applicable to relationships between romantic partners, friends, family members, and coworkers. 

Who should read The Relationship Cure?

  • Couples experiencing relationship problems
  • People looking for ways to get closer to their friends, coworkers, or family members 
  • Anyone wanting to improve their communication and relationship-building skills

9
The Psychology of Love Books: Deeper Dating by Ken Page

Deeper Dating

Ken Page
How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy
4.3 (342 ratings)

What's Deeper Dating about?

Deeper Dating (2014) is a roadmap to intimacy and loving relationships. It breaks down how looking inward can help us identify the kinds of people we’ll connect with most deeply, and shares tools for finding these people and fostering relationships that will inspire and fulfill us.

Who should read Deeper Dating?

  • Singles frustrated by popular dating advice
  • Couples looking to strengthen their bonds
  • Those who want to understand attraction and relationships

10
The Psychology of Love Books: Loving Bravely by Alexandra H. Solomon

Loving Bravely

Alexandra H. Solomon
Twenty Lessons of Self-discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want
4.4 (231 ratings)

What's Loving Bravely about?

Loving Bravely (2017) is a primer on finding love through introspection and self-discovery. This guide to love teaches invaluable lessons about how to build relationships that actually last.

Who should read Loving Bravely?

  • Lonely hearts looking for love
  • True romantics seeking lasting relationships
  • Anyone curious about the psychology of attachment

11
The Psychology of Love Books: Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin

Wired for Love

Stan Tatkin
How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
4.6 (522 ratings)

What's Wired for Love about?

Wired for Love (2012) is a guide to maintaining closeness and emotional security within romantic partnerships. It uses research from neurobiology and psychology to show why long-term couples come into conflict, and it offers practical tips on how to use knowledge about brain functions to promote peace and mutual security in your relationship.

Who should read Wired for Love?

  • Partners in committed relationships
  • Couples seeking to manage conflict 
  • Those interested in social psychology

12
The Psychology of Love Books: Wired for Love by Stephanie Cacioppo

Wired for Love

Stephanie Cacioppo
A Neuroscientist's Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection
4.6 (532 ratings)

What's Wired for Love about?

Wired for Love (2022) combines fascinating neuroscientific research with a captivating personal story to reveal some of the secrets behind that great human mystery: love. Love is often thought of as a topic best left to poets and musicians –⁠ but it can and should be studied as a legitimate scientific question. In a world that is constantly throwing up new challenges to romance, from online dating to global pandemics, an understanding of and respect for love is more important than ever before.

Who should read Wired for Love?

  • Hopeless romantics
  • Neuroscience and psychology fanatics
  • Anyone who is, has been, or wants to be in love

13
The Psychology of Love Books: How to Be a 3% Man by Corey Wayne

How to Be a 3% Man

Corey Wayne
Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams
3.9 (202 ratings)

What's How to Be a 3% Man about?

How to Be a 3% Man (2013) provides straightforward practice methods, tips and guidelines for meeting and dating women. It teaches you what to say to women, when to say it, and what her responses mean.

Who should read How to Be a 3% Man?

  • Men who have a hard time approaching women.
  • Anyone looking for dating advice.
  • People hoping to improve their relationship.

14
The Psychology of Love Books: We Over Me by Khadeen & Devile Ellis

We Over Me

Khadeen & Devile Ellis
The Counterintuitive Approach to Getting Everything You Want from Your Relationship
3.8 (175 ratings)

What's We Over Me about?

We Over Me (2023) is the story of the podcasting-and-influencing power couple Devale and Khadeen Ellis – in their own words. With trademark disarming honesty, the Ellises lay bare the struggles and successes that have shaped them as a couple, and share the strategies that allow them to thrive as a partnership. 

Who should read We Over Me?

  • Single people looking for love that lasts
  • Couples who’ve lost sight of each other’s needs
  • Anyone who could do with a dose of unfiltered relationship advice

15
The Psychology of Love Books: Polysecure by Jessica Fern

Polysecure

Jessica Fern
Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
3.4 (221 ratings)

What's Polysecure about?

Polysecure (2020) unites attachment theory, which explains the different types of attachment people form with each other, with consensual nonmonogamy – the increasingly popular practice of having multiple romantic partners. By learning more about your attachment style, you can develop healthy relationship habits, even in nonmonogamy.

Who should read Polysecure?

  • Relationship geeks looking to learn about attachment theory
  • Couples considering opening up their relationships
  • Nonmonogamous folks who want to do it right

16
The Psychology of Love Books: The Honeymoon Effect by Bruce H. Lipton

The Honeymoon Effect

Bruce H. Lipton
The Science of Creating Heaven on Earth
2.9 (49 ratings)

What's The Honeymoon Effect about?

The Honeymoon Effect (2023) explores the possibility of maintaining the euphoric state typically experienced during the honeymoon phase of a relationship. By delving into diverse fields such as biology, quantum physics, and psychology, it sheds light on the nature of love, the role of hormones, and the power of the subconscious mind in shaping our relationships.

Who should read The Honeymoon Effect?

  • Relationship strugglers hoping to turn around negative patterns through understanding biological and psychological influences
  • Newlyweds seeking wisdom on extending their initial happiness throughout marriage
  • Psychology enthusiasts interested in exploring the intersection of psychology, biology, and quantum physics

17
The Psychology of Love Books: Plays Well with Others by Eric Barker

Plays Well with Others

Eric Barker
The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know about Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong
4.0 (34 ratings)

What's Plays Well with Others about?

Plays Well with Others (2022) debunks relationship myths and offers advice on how to form and maintain strong bonds. Improve your friendships and romantic relationships, as well as your ability to resolve conflicts, forgive others, and deal with difficult people.

Who should read Plays Well with Others?

  • Professionals seeking better workplace relationships
  • Team leaders aiming for harmony and collaboration
  • All those interested in interpersonal dynamics

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