Above all, relationship goals have to be realistic.

If you’re active on social media, you’re probably inundated with pictures of perfect-looking couples. We’ve all seen them – images of happy pairs posing in clubs, kissing on the beach, or cuddled up in bed next to a caption reading #relationshipgoals. 

These images represent modern relationship ideals. But here’s the problem: these images are only snapshots of relationships. They emphasize all the good things and exclude all the bad. They don’t represent reality. Therefore, they’re not realistic relationship goals.

The issue isn’t just social media. Magazines, newspapers, and TV shows sell us an illusion of “perfect” relationships that we all buy into. As a result, we have unrealistic expectations about what kind of partners we should be looking for. 

The key message here is: Above all, relationship goals have to be realistic.

Often, our ideas about what makes a perfect partner are based on superficial things like looks, career, or a person’s financial situation. They reflect what we want and desire from a partner, rather than what we actually need. 

This was the case for Sarah, a member of the congregation at Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where the author is a pastor. Long past the age by which she’d thought she’d be married, Sarah was still single. This concerned her, and she’d often chat with the author about her relationship problems.

On one occasion, the author asked Sarah whether she had a clear idea about what kind of man she wanted to meet. She replied with a long, long list of requirements.

Sarah saw herself marrying a successful business owner, one who was also a preacher and funny and athletic. On top of all that, he had to come from a two-parent home – a requirement that eliminates about a third of the population!

As the requirements piled up, the author struggled to keep a straight face. Then he was honest with Sarah. Her relationship goals, he said, set the bar way too high. In fact, they had led her to reject great potential partners for years! 

The thing is, relationship goals can be great — if they help you aim for what you really want and need from a partner. But to do that, they have to be realistic. 

In the blinks that follow, we’ll look at creating the right relationship goals, ones that help you fulfill your life’s purpose and keep you in line with God’s eternal truths.