Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love Book Summary - Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love Book explained in key points
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love summary

Nancy Dreyfus

Relationship Repair in a Flash

3.9 (338 ratings)
9 mins
Table of Contents

    Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love
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    Key idea 1 of 5

    Acknowledging a change in direction is a powerful intervention.

    It’s okay – and even critical – to recognize that your interaction isn’t going well and that you need to change your approach in order to better understand one another. This helps boost your inner awareness of the situation and how you’re feeling.

    It’s a powerful intervention that requires you to be straightforward with your partner.

    Some useful ways to do this are to first acknowledge how you – as the initiator of the conversation – are feeling and to acknowledge how your partner is feeling. Then try following this emotional validation with a question. For example:

    Can we start again?

    Can you repeat what you’re saying but in a calmer tone so I can feel safer with you?

    Can we take a minute to start over and really listen to what each other is saying?

    Changing direction and validating each other’s feelings can transform a conversation and establish trust. It presents the desire to want to repair things and the willingness to listen to your partner.

    Sometimes, we’re so focused on being heard that we forget that our partner has the right to be heard as well. And sometimes, we only hear what we want to hear – but that’s not effective listening.

    So, let each other feel received. Offering this kind of vulnerability allows your partner to truly see you.

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    What is Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love about?

    Talk To Me Like I’m Someone You Love (1993) is a relationship repair tool that coaches couples on how to speak to each other more genuinely.

    Who should read Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love?

    • Couples in therapy
    • People who need relationship advice
    • Those looking for better relationship communication

    About the Author

    Nancy Dreyfus, PsyD, is a professional psychotherapist and former journalist who has over 20 years of experience as a couples therapist.

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