Women Who Love Too Much Book Summary - Women Who Love Too Much Book explained in key points
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Women Who Love Too Much summary

Robin Norwood

When you keep hoping and wishing he'll change

4.5 (154 ratings)
19 mins

Brief summary

'Women Who Love Too Much' by Robin Norwood is a self-help guidebook for women who tend to fall in love with emotionally unavailable men and suffer from co-dependency. The book offers a step-by-step plan to help women break free from destructive relationships and regain their self-esteem.

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    Women Who Love Too Much
    Summary of 6 key ideas

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    Key idea 1 of 6

    Women who love too much confuse love with emotional pain.

    When Jill, a 29-year-old law student, met Randy, a handsome attorney, they clicked right away. Seven days later, he slept at her place, and they officially embarked on a long-distance love affair.

    But by the end of that first week, problems were already starting to appear.

    After their first passionate weekend together, Randy left Jill’s apartment and headed home. But even as he walked through his front door, his phone was ringing. It was Jill. Did he get back OK, she wanted to know – she had been worried about his long flight back. Soon, Jill couldn’t go one night without telephoning Randy. Even though they had an arrangement that they would take it in turns, Randy often failed to get in touch on his evenings. When this happened, Jill became restless, and before she knew it, she was calling him.

    As their relationship continued, Jill worked overtime to try and get him to commit to her. Randy kept saying that if she continued to pressure him, he would walk away. But in Jill’s eyes, that just meant she needed to try harder. Soon she was playing the role of his therapist, helping him to figure out his feelings. Randy’s response? He kept saying he didn’t know what he wanted. Unfortunately, Jill couldn’t accept that. Convinced that she simply needed to make more of an effort to win his heart, she flew the long distance to his place to spend the weekend with him. And what did Randy do? He spent the whole time staring at the TV, getting drunk and ignoring her.

    Unfortunately, Jill’s actions toward Randy are textbook examples of a woman who loves too much.

    When we talk about women who love too much, what we really mean is that these women develop obsessive feelings for a man and then wrongly label that obsession as love. Women like Jill then allow their obsession to control their behavior and emotions. Just consider Jill’s compulsive nightly calls to Randy. Additionally, even when these women understand that their obsession is having a negative impact on their own emotional well-being, they still can’t let go. In other words, even though it hurt Jill to hear Randy repeatedly saying that he wasn’t sure what he wanted, and it hurt when he ignored her, she still couldn’t walk away from him.

    Women like Jill – who was one of the author’s many anguished female clients – all have one thing in common: they equate feelings of love with feelings of pain, and they falsely believe that the more “love” hurts, the more genuine that love is.

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    What is Women Who Love Too Much about?

    Women Who Love Too Much (1985) explores the unhealthy relationships that some women find themselves in again and again. Using real-life case studies and devastating insights, the blinks explain the true reasons behind women’s fascination with unsuitable men and describe how we can move past our insecurities for good.

    Women Who Love Too Much Review

    Women Who Love Too Much (1985) is a thought-provoking book that explores the patterns and behaviors of women who struggle with love addiction. Here's what makes this book worth reading:

    • Offering deep insights and analysis into the psychology of women who have unhealthy relationships, it helps readers gain a better understanding of their own patterns.
    • The book provides practical tools and strategies to help women break free from destructive patterns and build healthier relationships, offering hope and guidance.
    • Through compelling real-life stories and examples, the book brings the topic to life and makes it relatable, ensuring that it is anything but boring.

    Best quote from Women Who Love Too Much

    Every sexual encounter carries all our striving to change him.

    —Robin Norwood
    example alt text

    Who should read Women Who Love Too Much?

    • Women feeling trapped in an unhappy relationship
    • Self-help buffs looking for a fresh perspective
    • Those trying to move on from a traumatic childhood

    About the Author

    Robin Norwood is a best-selling author and a therapist specializing in marriage guidance and families. She has particular expertise in helping co-alcoholics and women drawn to bad relationships.

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    Women Who Love Too Much FAQs 

    What is the main message of Women Who Love Too Much?

    The main message of Women Who Love Too Much is understanding and overcoming the patterns of loving too much.

    How long does it take to read Women Who Love Too Much?

    The reading time for Women Who Love Too Much varies, but the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Women Who Love Too Much a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Women Who Love Too Much is worth reading for its insights into unhealthy relationship patterns and its guidance on self-love and personal growth.

    Who is the author of Women Who Love Too Much?

    The author of Women Who Love Too Much is Robin Norwood.

    What to read after Women Who Love Too Much?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Women Who Love Too Much, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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    • Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
    • The Four Noble Truths of Love by Susan Piver
    • Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
    • Securely Attached by Eli Harwood
    • From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks
    • The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg