Name: Daring to Trust
Rating: 4.3 (128 reviews)
Author: David Richo

What’s in it for me? Rediscover your ability to trust yourself and the world around you.

Have you ever been told that you’re too trusting? Do you fear that your character allows people to potentially take advantage of you? Or are you the opposite, trusting no one, not even yourself?

For many people, trust is a tough feeling to master. A lack of trust, however, can fill your life with nothing but fear, undermine relationships and keep you from realizing your true potential.

If you need a confidence boost and are seeking ways to become more trusting, these blinks will show you where to start. You’ll learn proven methods to open up to other people and as a result, feel much safer in the world at large.

In these blinks, you’ll also discover

why overreactions are often not wrong, just misdirected;
how a distanced partner may be desiring more intimacy, not less; and
why listening to your breathing can actually boost your self-confidence.

Early childhood relationships shape your ability to trust yourself and others.

How difficult is it for you to speak about your feelings with a stranger? Do you feel the world is generally a safe place? Your answers will depend mostly on your childhood experiences.

Children who develop strong bonds with parents end up feeling safer in the world and learn to trust people more easily. When a mother comforts a frightened child, the child learns to trust the mother, grows more attached to her and feels more comfortable in the environment at large.

Children who never experience this sort of familial bond typically grow up struggling with adult relationships. They have a hard time opening up to others, and fear they’ll be emotionally hurt if they try.

Our bodies remember the peaceful, safe moments we spend in a parent’s arms all our lives. These memories comfort us during difficult times, and remind us that the world is a safe place.

When the author was young, his mother, grandmother and great-aunt gave him a bath every Saturday night. Such warm memories still help him cope with difficult situations, even today.

Children need to be cared for, but sometimes too much care can also cause problems. If a parent is over-possessive, a child can’t develop needed independence.

That’s why it’s important that parents gradually relinquish control as children grow older. Young people need space to explore the world, testing boundaries, while parents are still around to offer support if things go wrong.

Such freedom also allows children to develop trust in themselves – a key part of forming and maintaining healthy relationships as adults.

Healthy relationships are built on trust; remember your fundamental needs to cement that trust.

Movies often depict an idealized version of romance, with new lovers euphorically rushing into a relationship. Yet “real” relationships often play out quite differently.

Wise adults spend the first part of a relationship assessing a partner’s trustworthiness. Trust is the foundation for a stable, healthy relationship, as it allows both partners to feel safe and truly be intimate with each other.

Fear and past trauma can negatively affect present relationships, even if you don’t realize it.

People often overreact when they observe certain behaviors in a partner. Minor events, such as a partner in a bad mood, might trigger a disproportionate negative reaction on behalf of the other partner. Yet what might cause someone to overreact like this?

It’s difficult to trust people if you’ve been hurt in the past. Most people are sensitive about being rejected or deceived by a person they care about. They’ll be deeply hurt when their trust is violated, and have a hard time trusting others in the future.

Accepting yourself for who you truly are is an important step on the road to tranquility.

Would you trust someone who deceives you about who they really are? Of course not. It’s important to be honest about yourself, which also means you have to be honest with yourself.

Start out by acknowledging and accepting your own feelings – you can’t know who you are until you know how you feel.

Practicing mindfulness and focusing on positivity helps you overcome any hardship.

Connecting with the Self empowers you and helps protect you from your own inner demons. That’s why it’s so important to practice mindfulness during highly stressful situations.

Practicing mindfulness allows you to focus on the present moment and maintain self-control. When you lose self-control, you’re essentially losing touch with your own emotions.

Key ideas in Daring to Trust