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The Silent Language of Leaders summary

Name: The Silent Language of Leaders
Rating: 4.1 (125 reviews)
Author: Carol Kinsey Goman

Carol Kinsey Goman

How Body Language Can Help – or Hurt – How You Lead

4.1 (125 ratings)

16 mins

Brief summary

"The Silent Language of Leaders" by Carol Kinsey Goman is a guide to understanding and effectively using nonverbal communication as a leader. Learn how to convey confidence, authority, and trust through subtle gestures and body language.

Topics

Body Language

Table of Contents

The Silent Language of Leaders
Summary of 7 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Master your body language and become a true leader.

Have you ever wondered why some people are so convincing and engaging as leaders? Self-confidence and a way with words is part of it – but not the whole story. Words and arguments, no matter how well they’re crafted, aren’t enough to engage or motivate others.

What you need is the right body language.

Body language is tremendously powerful. Standing in front of your team, even before anything you’ve said has reached their ears, you’ve already said so much. Your posture, the way you move your feet and arms, even the dilation of your pupils – these are just some examples of the body language that can make or break your image as a trustworthy and empathetic leader.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why body language is so similar around the world;
why you should avoid the Intimate Zone; and
why women are better at reading body language than men.

Strong leadership requires good communication – body language included.

Let’s start at the very beginning. Strong leaders need strong communication skills. Good communication, though, is about more than words. It’s about body language too.

You won’t convince or inspire anyone without the right body language. Even worse, you might make a bad first impression. However, the right body language – conveyed through your posture, gesticulations, facial expressions, eye contact, touch and smell – will help you build empathy with whoever you’re communicating with.

As a leader, your body language is interpreted and judged almost instantly. In fact, studies show that we evaluate a person’s credibility, confidence, likeability and trustworthiness within seven seconds of meeting them. Seven seconds! That’s well before you can deliver your well-written speech.

How does it happen so fast? Well, because of how the brain works. Body language is fundamentally rooted in the brain’s limbic system.

The limbic system is a set of brain structures responsible for emotion and memory. It’s the part of the brain that receives and processes emotional information. In that way, it serves as a kind of alarm system. As it first receives information, it quickly determines if something is threatening.

Since humans are all wired the same way, and we all have a limbic system, body language is more or less the same across different cultures. Basic expressions of fear, surprise and anger are all the same around the world. That’s also why body language was one of the earliest forms of human communication. It allowed early humans to decide within seconds if a person was a friend or a threat.

Thankfully, nowadays we don’t rely on body language to stay alive, but it remains an important skill in business.

Successful leaders can both read good body language and project it themselves.

Do you cross your arms when asking a question? If so, stop! It doesn’t matter if you’re crossing your arms because you’re cold. Body language is in the eye of the beholder. The conversation partner interprets it in his own way, regardless of your intentions.

When we meet a leader, we subconsciously judge his warmth and authority right away. You convey warmth through more “open” body language, like facing your speaking partner, synchronizing your movements with his, nodding, smiling and keeping your arms and legs uncrossed.

Mastering body language helps you become a better negotiator.

Just as communication isn’t only about choosing the right words, negotiating isn’t only about strong arguments and leverage. When it comes to negotiating, nothing is more persuasive than body language.

MIT studied the impact of body language by having business executives present business ideas to each other while wearing a device that recorded their tonal variety, vocal nuance and nods. The device accurately predicted to what extent an executive would convince the jury, based purely on their body language. Standing upright, facing the jury and speaking in a lower tone all increased the chance the jury would be convinced.

Even with today’s communication technology, body language is important for enacting change.

In order to impose any kind of meaningful change in business, all your team members need to be on board. Humans are hardwired against change, however, and naturally want to do things as they’re used to doing them.

So people need to be motivated into change. How? The best method is through positive emotions. If even just one of your team members shows resistance to change with her body language, it can spread to the other members like a virus.

Positive body language is a crucial part of effective collaboration.

Body language, especially positive body language, is also crucial to fostering good working relationships with others.

If you let your gaze wander while a person is speaking, for instance, they’ll feel unimportant or left out. That could lead to them withdrawing and losing motivation in whatever you’re working on together.

Gender plays an important role in body language.

We all know that women and men are equally capable of being excellent leaders. But there are major differences in how male and female leaders communicate. Why? Once again, it goes back to the brain.

For instance, men and women process emotions differently. Both men and women have mirror neurons, but in male brains, another system (the temporoparietal junction) takes over shortly after the mirror neurons are fired. This system causes men to focus more on analysis and problem solving. In contrast, female brains continue processing emotions longer.

Understanding cultural differences in body language is vital in today’s multicultural business world.

What does it mean when a person puts his thumb and forefinger together to create a circle? Your answer depends on where you’re from. In the US it means “OK,” in France it means “worthless” or “zero,” in Japan it relates to money and in some places it’s considered obscene. It’s a gesture that can create a lot of misunderstanding.

These cultural differences are more and more obvious in our increasingly diverse world. So it’s important to know how to adjust your behavior in formal situations, by being stronger in Arab countries for example, or softer in the US.

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What is The Silent Language of Leaders about?

Strong leaders have to project the right body language and be able to read it well in their team members if they want to lead them to success. The Silent Language of Leaders (2011) offers tips for reading and controlling body language, even in cultures where social cues differ.

The Silent Language of Leaders Review

The Silent Language of Leaders (2011) explores the nonverbal cues and body language that leaders use to effectively communicate and inspire others. Here's why this book is worth reading:

It offers insights into the hidden aspects of leadership, helping readers become aware of the powerful impact of their nonverbal signals.
Backed by extensive research and real-life examples, the book provides practical strategies for enhancing leadership presence and effectiveness.
Through its engaging storytelling and relatable scenarios, the book makes the topic of nonverbal communication lively and compelling, ensuring a captivating read.

Best quote from The Silent Language of Leaders

When others show us respect and appreciation, it triggers the same centers in the brain that are activated when we eat chocolate or have sex.

—Carol Kinsey Goman

Who should read The Silent Language of Leaders?

Anyone in a leadership position
Anyone who works in a multicultural environment
Anyone interested in body language or psychology

About the Author

Carol Kinsey Goman is a leadership coach, management consultant, keynote speaker and the president of Kinsey Consulting Services. She has published eleven books.

© Carol Kinsey Goman: The Silent Language of Leaders copyright 2011, John Wiley & Sons Inc. Used by permission of John Wiley & Sons Inc. and shall not be made available to any unauthorized third parties.

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