The Silent Language of Leaders Book Summary - The Silent Language of Leaders Book explained in key points

Listen to the Intro

00:00

The Silent Language of Leaders summary

Name: The Silent Language of Leaders
Rating: 4 (102 reviews)
Author: Carol Kinsey Goman

Carol Kinsey Goman

How Body Language Can Help – or Hurt – How You Lead

4 (102 ratings)

16 mins

Brief summary

"The Silent Language of Leaders" by Carol Kinsey Goman is a guide to understanding and effectively using nonverbal communication as a leader. Learn how to convey confidence, authority, and trust through subtle gestures and body language.

Topics

Body Language

Table of Contents

The Silent Language of Leaders
Summary of 7 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Master your body language and become a true leader.

Have you ever wondered why some people are so convincing and engaging as leaders? Self-confidence and a way with words is part of it – but not the whole story. Words and arguments, no matter how well they’re crafted, aren’t enough to engage or motivate others.

What you need is the right body language.

Body language is tremendously powerful. Standing in front of your team, even before anything you’ve said has reached their ears, you’ve already said so much. Your posture, the way you move your feet and arms, even the dilation of your pupils – these are just some examples of the body language that can make or break your image as a trustworthy and empathetic leader.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why body language is so similar around the world;
why you should avoid the Intimate Zone; and
why women are better at reading body language than men.

Strong leadership requires good communication – body language included.

Let’s start at the very beginning. Strong leaders need strong communication skills. Good communication, though, is about more than words. It’s about body language too.

You won’t convince or inspire anyone without the right body language. Even worse, you might make a bad first impression. However, the right body language – conveyed through your posture, gesticulations, facial expressions, eye contact, touch and smell – will help you build empathy with whoever you’re communicating with.

As a leader, your body language is interpreted and judged almost instantly. In fact, studies show that we evaluate a person’s credibility, confidence, likeability and trustworthiness within seven seconds of meeting them. Seven seconds! That’s well before you can deliver your well-written speech.

How does it happen so fast? Well, because of how the brain works. Body language is fundamentally rooted in the brain’s limbic system.

The limbic system is a set of brain structures responsible for emotion and memory. It’s the part of the brain that receives and processes emotional information. In that way, it serves as a kind of alarm system. As it first receives information, it quickly determines if something is threatening.

Since humans are all wired the same way, and we all have a limbic system, body language is more or less the same across different cultures. Basic expressions of fear, surprise and anger are all the same around the world. That’s also why body language was one of the earliest forms of human communication. It allowed early humans to decide within seconds if a person was a friend or a threat.

Thankfully, nowadays we don’t rely on body language to stay alive, but it remains an important skill in business.

Successful leaders can both read good body language and project it themselves.

Do you cross your arms when asking a question? If so, stop! It doesn’t matter if you’re crossing your arms because you’re cold. Body language is in the eye of the beholder. The conversation partner interprets it in his own way, regardless of your intentions.

When we meet a leader, we subconsciously judge his warmth and authority right away. You convey warmth through more “open” body language, like facing your speaking partner, synchronizing your movements with his, nodding, smiling and keeping your arms and legs uncrossed.

Mastering body language helps you become a better negotiator.

Just as communication isn’t only about choosing the right words, negotiating isn’t only about strong arguments and leverage. When it comes to negotiating, nothing is more persuasive than body language.

MIT studied the impact of body language by having business executives present business ideas to each other while wearing a device that recorded their tonal variety, vocal nuance and nods. The device accurately predicted to what extent an executive would convince the jury, based purely on their body language. Standing upright, facing the jury and speaking in a lower tone all increased the chance the jury would be convinced.

Even with today’s communication technology, body language is important for enacting change.

In order to impose any kind of meaningful change in business, all your team members need to be on board. Humans are hardwired against change, however, and naturally want to do things as they’re used to doing them.

So people need to be motivated into change. How? The best method is through positive emotions. If even just one of your team members shows resistance to change with her body language, it can spread to the other members like a virus.

Positive body language is a crucial part of effective collaboration.

Body language, especially positive body language, is also crucial to fostering good working relationships with others.

If you let your gaze wander while a person is speaking, for instance, they’ll feel unimportant or left out. That could lead to them withdrawing and losing motivation in whatever you’re working on together.

Gender plays an important role in body language.

We all know that women and men are equally capable of being excellent leaders. But there are major differences in how male and female leaders communicate. Why? Once again, it goes back to the brain.

For instance, men and women process emotions differently. Both men and women have mirror neurons, but in male brains, another system (the temporoparietal junction) takes over shortly after the mirror neurons are fired. This system causes men to focus more on analysis and problem solving. In contrast, female brains continue processing emotions longer.

Understanding cultural differences in body language is vital in today’s multicultural business world.

What does it mean when a person puts his thumb and forefinger together to create a circle? Your answer depends on where you’re from. In the US it means “OK,” in France it means “worthless” or “zero,” in Japan it relates to money and in some places it’s considered obscene. It’s a gesture that can create a lot of misunderstanding.

These cultural differences are more and more obvious in our increasingly diverse world. So it’s important to know how to adjust your behavior in formal situations, by being stronger in Arab countries for example, or softer in the US.

Want to see all full key ideas from The Silent Language of Leaders?

Key ideas in The Silent Language of Leaders

More knowledge in less time

Read or listen

Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.

Find your next read

Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.

Shortcasts ^New

We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

What is The Silent Language of Leaders about?

Strong leaders have to project the right body language and be able to read it well in their team members if they want to lead them to success. The Silent Language of Leaders (2011) offers tips for reading and controlling body language, even in cultures where social cues differ.

The Silent Language of Leaders Review

The Silent Language of Leaders (2011) explores the nonverbal cues and body language that leaders use to effectively communicate and inspire others. Here's why this book is worth reading:

It offers insights into the hidden aspects of leadership, helping readers become aware of the powerful impact of their nonverbal signals.
Backed by extensive research and real-life examples, the book provides practical strategies for enhancing leadership presence and effectiveness.
Through its engaging storytelling and relatable scenarios, the book makes the topic of nonverbal communication lively and compelling, ensuring a captivating read.

Best quote from The Silent Language of Leaders

When others show us respect and appreciation, it triggers the same centers in the brain that are activated when we eat chocolate or have sex.

—Carol Kinsey Goman

Who should read The Silent Language of Leaders?

Anyone in a leadership position
Anyone who works in a multicultural environment
Anyone interested in body language or psychology

About the Author

Carol Kinsey Goman is a leadership coach, management consultant, keynote speaker and the president of Kinsey Consulting Services. She has published eleven books.

© Carol Kinsey Goman: The Silent Language of Leaders copyright 2011, John Wiley & Sons Inc. Used by permission of John Wiley & Sons Inc. and shall not be made available to any unauthorized third parties.

Categories with The Silent Language of Leaders

Communication Skills

Book summaries like The Silent Language of Leaders

What Every BODY is Saying

Joe Navarro

An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People

Bringing your Boldest Self to your Biggest Challenges

Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life

Find Out What People Really Think, What They Really Want, and Who They Really Are

16 min

4.5

Sizing People Up

Robin Dreeke and Cameron Stauth

A Veteran FBI Agent’s User Manual for Behavior Prediction

21 min

4.4

Read People Like a Book

Patrick King

How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors

21 min

3.9

Dangerous Personalities

Joe Navarro

An FBI Profiler Shows You How to Identify and Protect Yourself from Harmful Personalities

The Science of Succeeding with People

Detox Your Mind for Clearer Thinking, Deeper Relationships, and Lasting Happiness

34 min

4.5

Digital Body Language

Erica Dhawan

How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance

Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

Know More, Make More, Give More

Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In

18 min

4.3

A Random Walk Down Wall Street

Burton G. Malkiel

The Time-Tested Strategy for Successful Investing

5 min

4.2

The Achievement Habit

Bernard Roth

Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life

How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

A Brief History of Humankind

The Fine Art Of Small Talk

Debra Fine

How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills – and Leave a Positive Impression!

What You're Missing and Why It Matters

How Today's Biggest Trends Will Collide and Reshape the Future of Everything

27 min

4.2

How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

Nicholas Boothman

Make Instant, Meaningful Connections for Interviewing, Selling, Managing, Pitching

Explore a Future Where Books Burn

How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex

Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t

19 min

4.3

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

Brené Brown

Making the Journey From “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”

15 min

4.4

The Power of Going All-In

Brandon Bornancin

Secrets for Success in Business, Leadership, and Life

19 min

4.1

Leadership Strategy and Tactics

Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

27 min

4.3

Breaking Free From Broke

George Kamel

The Ultimate Guide to More Money and Less Stress

16 min

3.8

Forgiving What You Can't Forget

Lysa TerKeurst

Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again

25 min

3.6

Building a Non-Anxious Life

John Delony

Transform Anxiety Into Resilience and Conquer Life’s Challenges

12 min

3.9

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

David Richo

The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

26 min

4.5

The Psychology of Selling

Brian Tracy

Increase your sales faster and easier than you ever thought possible

11 min

4.2

Confidence From the Inside Out

The Blinkist Team

Build your confidence by living on the edge of your comfort zone

A Self-Made Billionaire's No-Nonsense Guide for Entrepreneurs

19 min

4.2

Make Possibilities Happen

Grace Hawthorne

How to Transform Ideas into Reality

An Essential Guide to Life

The Secret to Love That Lasts

21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time

13 min

4.4

My Morning Routine

Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander

How Successful People Start Every Day Inspired

How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life

The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking

Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds

18 min

4.2

The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication

John C. Maxwell

Apply Them and Make the Most of Your Message

Find Peace in the Now

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks

The Tactics, Routines and Habits of Billionaires, Icons and World-Class Performers

What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know

21 min

3.9

People ❤️ Blinkist

Sven O.

It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

Thi Viet Quynh N.

Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

Jonathan A.

Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

Renee D.

Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.