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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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Just Listen summary
Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
17 mins
Brief summary
Just Listen by Mark Goulston is a communication-focused self-help book that aims to improve relationships and connections. The author shares practical strategies for active listening, empathy, and de-escalation of conflicts.
Table of Contents
Just Listen
Summary of 7 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 7
Listening is a key to overcoming resistance and initiating progress.
Have you ever stopped to consider the rhythm of your everyday conversations? If so, you might have found that you approach them as if they were all rational arguments, and this can often be counterproductive.
In fact, using arguments or pressure to influence or convince others often creates resistance. This is especially true when people come to you in times of stress: they don’t want advice to improve their situation – they just want to share what’s going on with them.
Imagine a man named Steve is standing on the edge of a seventh-story roof, threatening to jump and kill himself. As authorities surround the building and prepare themselves for the cleanup, a negotiator, Lieutenant Williams, approaches Steve. Williams tries to convince Steve that there are other options available to him other than hurting himself, and tells him that he’s there to help him get out of this terrible situation.
Unfortunately, Steve doesn’t feel understood and responds angrily, rejecting Lt. Williams’s help.
The problem? Williams didn’t listen. Listening gives others the chance to share their feelings and concerns, which creates a space for taking the next steps and making arguments. When we feel like our concerns are being heard, it engenders a certain level of trust between us and our conversation partners.
Now imagine that another negotiator, Lieutenant Brown, arrives at the scene to talk to Steve. After listening to Steve, Brown tells him: “I bet you feel this is your only way out.”
“Yes,” Steve replies.
By listening, Brown is able to show Steve how he empathizes with his situation.
He asks Steve about how he lost his job, why his wife left him, and so on. Steve then starts to calm down and begins to explain his situation, while becoming more open to solutions other than killing himself.
If you want people to be open to your arguments, you have to listen first. And, as you’ll discover in the next few blinks, we’re biologically programmed to do just that.
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What is Just Listen about?
Just Listen (2009) combines time-tested persuasion and listening techniques with new methods to help you get your message across to anybody. By learning how to be a better listener, how the brain works and how people think, you’ll be able to motivate people to do what you want because you’ll better understand their needs.
Just Listen Review
Just Listen (2009) by Mark Goulston is a book that offers valuable insights on how to effectively connect with others through the power of listening. Here's why this book is worth reading:
- It provides practical strategies that can be immediately applied to improve communication and build stronger relationships.
- Real-life examples and relatable stories make the concepts in the book easy to understand and applicable to various situations.
- The book delves into the psychology of communication and helps readers gain a deeper understanding of human behavior and emotions.
Best quote from Just Listen
When you really get where people are coming from ... theyre more likely to let you take them where you want them to go.
—Mark Goulston
Who should read Just Listen?
- Anyone who wants to improve their communication skills
- Anyone working in therapy or mediation
- Anyone who wants to be more persuasive
Categories with Just Listen
Book summaries like Just Listen
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Just Listen FAQs
What is the main message of Just Listen?
The main message of Just Listen is that effective communication begins with truly understanding and connecting with others.
How long does it take to read Just Listen?
The reading time for Just Listen varies depending on the reader, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is Just Listen a good book? Is it worth reading?
Just Listen is worth reading as it provides valuable insights and practical techniques for improving communication and building stronger relationships.
Who is the author of Just Listen?
The author of Just Listen is Mark Goulston.
What to read after Just Listen?
If you're wondering what to read next after Just Listen, here are some recommendations we suggest:
- You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy
- Listen Like You Mean It by Ximena Vengoechea
- Persuasive Copywriting by Andy Maslen
- Brief by Joseph McCormack
- First Things First by Stephen R. Covey
- Social Empathy by Elizabeth Segal
- Words Can Change Your Brain by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman
- The Art of Reading Minds by Henrik Fexeus
- If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look On My Face? by Alan Alda
- Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher