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Getting More

How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

By Stuart Diamond
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  • Contains 8 key ideas
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Getting More by Stuart Diamond

Getting More (2010) lays out precisely how to negotiate your way toward a fuller, more satisfying life. The strategies and tools described in this book can be used in any situation, from finding a happier outcome when sparring with a partner to convincing your boss that you’re long overdue for a raise.

Key idea 1 of 8

Every interaction in life is a negotiation; you need to learn how to get more from them.

What do buying a trinket at the flea market and selling a multimillion-dollar company have in common? Both scenarios involve negotiation.

In fact, all your daily interactions involve some form of negotiation – though you might not realize it.

So let’s examine the four different forms of negotiation.

First, there’s forcing a person to do something. This strategy is really only a fraction of most negotiation processes, if it’s used at all, as it requires power – which is costly and often counter-productive.

Second, there’s getting a person to believe what you want him to believe. This is preferable to using power, but when you have an emotional attachment to the person, it’s a bit tricky to achieve.

Third, there’s getting a person to see things the way you want him to see them.

And finally, there’s persuading a person to feel what you want him to feel.

Now that we’ve defined the different forms of negotiation, let’s look at its overall benefits. It’s simple – negotiating for what you want will net you more in every situation.

To negotiate effectively, you need to determine your goal. If you don’t know exactly what you want at the outset, you can end up negotiating a short-term solution that actually leads you further away from your goal.

If you’re stuck in the hospital after a knee surgery, for example, you might be eager to convince the doctors you’re fine so you can return home. Yet if you negotiate an early leave, missing needed physical therapy, you might end up injuring yourself again – thus compromising your goal of having a healthy knee so you can play basketball.

The more aware you are about how and when negotiations happen, the more you will get out of every negotiation you have, thus bringing you closer to your goals.

The truth is, we all spend each day wanting things. Being aware of the negotiations that determine how you interact with others can help you get what you really want, instead of going through life moaning about what you don’t have.

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