Name: Talk Lean
Rating: 3.8 (71 reviews)
Author: Alan H. Palmer

What’s in it for me? Learn how to get what you want out of a meeting.

We have so many meetings. Why do so many feel like a waste of time?

Whether it’s a team meeting, a one-on-one with your boss, colleague, or employee, or even the conversation when a boy likes a girl and doesn’t know what to say to her, we all struggle with saying what we want to say.

That’s where these blinks about lean talks come in. Talking lean means saying something clear, direct and to-the-point, in a polite, calm, courteous manner. That’s the best way to stop wasting everyone’s time and get the most of meetings!

In this blinks, you’ll find out

when to start a sentence with “You” vs. “I”;
why rhetorical questions can kill a meeting; and
how to make sure what you say gets across.

Start every meeting by politely expressing exactly what’s on your mind.

How many times have you had an unproductive meeting just because you were afraid of expressing what was really on your mind?

Well, you can change that by announcing your intentions from the very first minute of the meeting. It’s important you make your purpose clear early on; the longer it is unclear, the more likely the other person or people will start to wonder or get suspicious that there’s something you’re not saying.

Express your purpose in language that’s straightforward and direct without being brutal or rude. That way, you’re setting a polite, courteous precedent for the rest of the conversation.

For example, imagine a manager has a talented but habitually tardy employee. She keeps reminding him to be on time, but since her tone is aggressive, he leaves remembering that his boss was rude, rather than remembering her point.

What not to say: “Why on earth do you insist on arriving so late day in, day out?”

Something better: “John, what can I do to ensure your punctuality in the future, so that we can avoid future confrontations on this matter?”

The second way, John has to think about his actions and propose a plan for improvement, likely leading to a positive outcome.

Preparation is important if you want your meetings to follow a similar trajectory. Think about what you want from the other person, and then work your way back to figure out the best way to achieve it. Then, you’ll be able to lead the conversation in a way that invites desirable responses from the other person.

In other words, ask yourself, “What do I hope will happen at the end of the meeting?” Use the answer to structure your opening comments. This way, you’ll be able to communicate exactly what you’re thinking and ensure that the other person is following your message from the get-go.

For a productive meeting, create an environment of openness and listen carefully.

Now that you know how to successfully open a meeting, here’s how to proceed.

Often we go into a meeting with thoughts and feelings we don’t have the courage to express. Instead of saying what’s on our mind, we make blunders or inadvertently communicate those unsaid ideas through gestures, facial expressions or body language.

Respond appropriately.

As we just learned, listening carefully is an important part of having a productive meeting. But that’s not all: responding appropriately to what the other person says is crucial, to elevate the conversation to a higher level.

After all, you don’t want your response to block further discussion. This often occurs when people respond in a negative way, saying things tantamount to “That sucks!” Those kinds of responses leave little room for the other person to expand on their statements or further negotiate.

Key ideas in Talk Lean

About the Author

Alan H. Palmer is an Oxford graduate who previously worked in the international advertising industry. Today, he conducts seminars and develops training programs all over the world to help people have productive conversations.

© [Alan Palmer: Talk Lean] copyright [2014], John Wiley & Sons [Inc. or Ltd. as applicable] Used by permission of John Wiley & Sons [Inc. or Ltd. as applicable] and shall not be made available to any unauthorized third parties.