Who is the author of The Gifts of Imperfection?

The author of The Gifts of Imperfection is Brené Brown.

Mindfulness & Happiness

The Gifts of Imperfection Book Summary - The Gifts of Imperfection Book explained in key points

Listen to the Intro

00:00

The Gifts of Imperfection summary

Name: The Gifts of Imperfection
Rating: 4.6 (744 reviews)
Author: Brené Brown

Brené Brown

Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed To Be and Embrace Who You Are

4.6 (744 ratings)

22 mins

Brief summary

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown is a guide to embracing imperfections and living wholeheartedly. It helps readers cultivate courage, compassion, and connection by letting go of the need for perfection.

Topics

Mental Health Meaningful Living

Table of Contents

The Gifts of Imperfection
Summary of 10 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 10

What’s in it for me? Learn how to live a more fulfilling life by being true to yourself.

What would you say is your biggest flaw? Perhaps you’re an inveterate procrastinator. Maybe you feel like you’ve failed as a parent. Whatever it might be, you’re not alone. We all have our flaws and foibles. It’s how we deal with them that matters.

In her research on shame and its effects on the human mind, author Brené Brown has gathered thousands of stories from people around the US. From these stories, a powerful pattern has emerged: Those who find ways to embrace their imperfections, lead happier, more fulfilled lives than those who don’t. While being aware of your flaws is an important first step, it’s not enough. The true transfomative power lies in learning to love yourself.

That’s easier said than done. So how do you do it? Let’s find out.

Along the way, you’ll learn

why everything looks better when you zoom out;
why you should devote a decent portion of your life to play; and
why you should define yourself with slashes.

Authenticity is a choice that requires courage, compassion and connection.

Most people would like to live a life that is true to who they are; in other words, we’d like to be as authentic as possible.

Unfortunately, a handful of factors stand in the way: for example, a lack of self-confidence or pressure to conform. As a result, we feel we are inauthentic people, too weak to live honestly. But this is simply untrue!

Authenticity isn’t a quality that you either have or don’t. Rather, it’s a choice, one that reflects how we want to live. It’s the daily decision to be honest, embrace our vulnerability and to not care what others think.

And because it’s a choice, we thus have the option to be authentic on some days and less authentic on those other days when we’re too tired.

If you do, however, choose to act with more authenticity, then you’ll need to practice courage and compassion.

You’ll need the courage to speak your mind and allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of others. To look at this in practice, think about the next time you really want something to happen, like winning a contest or nailing an interview. Try not to play down your hopes in these situations. Acting like failure is no big deal won’t make the pain of failure any easier. In contrast, being honest about your hopes makes it possible for you to find support when you need it.

Furthermore, exercising compassion allows you to recognize that you aren’t alone, and that, in fact, everyone around you struggles with the exact same issues as you.

Compassion, in contrast with sympathy, is a relationship between equals: in order to relate to the struggles of others, you have to acknowledge your own, as well. By understanding that everyone around you has likely gone through what you’re going through now, you’ll have an easier time opening up to them and finding support.

Fear of shame hides behind perfectionism.

Are you a perfectionist? If you are, do you consider it to be a positive quality?

Perfectionism, despite maybe sounding positive, isn’t worth pursuing. It’s different than striving to be your best, and is unrelated to self-improvement. Rather, it revolves around the fundamental fear of shame.

Cultivate purpose and perspective so you are resilient in the face of adversity.

How many of us have tried to lose weight, but instead give up at the first sign of trouble? So many of us lack the resilience necessary to achieve our goals. Luckily, we can change that tendency. Let’s start by looking at where resilience originates:

Resilience comes from practicing hope. While hope is often considered an emotion based on circumstances outside of our control, researcher C.R. Snyder argues instead that hope is actually a cognitive process that can be both learned and practiced.

Practice being grateful for the ordinary moments in life.

It’s common sense that you’re happier when you’re grateful for the things you have, rather than when you’re lamenting that you don’t have enough. This gratitude, much like hope, is not an accidental emotion, but is a mindset that can be consciously trained.

While most people think of gratitude as the feeling that follows positive experiences, in reality it is a practice that fosters happiness. This has major implications for how we live our lives: it means that joy isn’t merely the accidental result of external conditions over which we have no control. Rather, we actively choose joy by practicing gratitude.

To be a better decision-maker, let go of the need for certainty and trust your intuition.

Your intuition is one of your greatest resources in decision-making. Unfortunately, however, many people find it difficult to trust their intuition.

In part, it’s because most people don’t understand what intuition is. They think of it as a “gut” feeling that has nothing to do with rationality or reason. In reality, intuition and reason are not mutually exclusive.

Embrace your own creative potential to do away with the need for comparison.

Comparing ourselves to others is totally natural, and something that we all do. However, in our attempts to measure ourselves against our peers, we often end up actually ridding ourselves of the very qualities that make us interesting individuals.

Indeed, comparison is the very root of conformity. While competition and conformity might at first sound like polar opposites, they’re actually inextricably related.

When it comes to your well-being, play and rest are just as important as work.

If someone told you to drop everything and go play – right now! – could you do it? Or would your other obligations keep you from leaving your desk? Making time to play isn’t as easy as it might seem.

Our society has the bad habit of tying self-worth to productivity. As a result, we end up sacrificing things like rest, play and our general well-being if those things appear to get in the way of our work.

Learn to manage your anxiety, rather than trying to get rid of it.

Life in our fast-paced, stress-filled society makes for a lot of anxiety. For many people, perhaps even you, the nervousness and restlessness that come with anxiety can be practically paralyzing.

We are most affected by anxiety when we inadvertently allow it to become an integral part of our lifestyle. This often occurs when we try to balance too many things at once without allowing ourselves to take a step back and put everything into perspective.

Identify your own gifts and talents that you can share with the world.

How many times did your parents or teachers tell you to quit spending all your time drawing, singing or playing and to instead do some real work? It’s high time you ignored their advice!

We all have unique gifts and talents that belong to us alone, and we should embrace them, rather than ignore them for the sake of getting “real work” done. Some of us, for example, might be artistically gifted, while others might be particularly good at conversation. Others might have a unique talent for remembering sports statistics.

Don’t be afraid of being uncool.

In this age of social media, the pressure to present ourselves as cool, blasé types with adventurous lives and without a care in the world has never been stronger. But it’s precisely this desire to be “cool” that keeps us isolated from others.

We need to be connected to others, and the best way to do so is through laughter, song and dance. These three activities create emotional and spiritual connection with those around us, and allow us to feel we’re not alone.

Want to see all full key ideas from The Gifts of Imperfection?

Key ideas in The Gifts of Imperfection

More knowledge in less time

Read or listen

Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.

Find your next read

Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.

Shortcasts ^New

We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

What is The Gifts of Imperfection about?

The Gifts of Imperfection offers an accessible and engaging walk through the ten principles that you can follow to live a more fulfilling life, defined by courage, connection and compassion towards others. Filled with relatable anecdotes and actionable advice, the book is a useful resource for readers both young and old.

The Gifts of Imperfection Review

The Gifts of Imperfection (2010) by Brené Brown offers a powerful exploration of embracing imperfections to live a wholehearted life. Here's why this book is worth reading:

It provides practical strategies to cultivate self-acceptance and embrace vulnerability, fostering a sense of connection and fulfillment.
Brown combines scientific research, personal stories, and insightful anecdotes to offer relatable and impactful insights on embracing imperfections.
With its gentle and compassionate approach, the book engages readers in a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, making it an enriching and inspiring read.

Best quote from The Gifts of Imperfection

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day.

—Brené Brown

Who should read The Gifts of Imperfection?

Anyone who wants to live a more meaningful life
Anyone who has a great idea, but is afraid to share it with the world
Anyone troubled by feelings of inadequacy and vulnerability

About the Author

Brené Brown is an author and professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, where she specializes in research on shame and its effects on the human mind. Her work has been featured by a diverse selection of media, including PBS, NPR, CNN, OWN, and TED.

Categories with The Gifts of Imperfection

Mindfulness & Happiness

Book summaries like The Gifts of Imperfection

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Julie Smith

Everyday Tools for Life’s Ups and Downs

Peace and Freedom in the Here and Now

How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

16 min

4.2

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)

Brené Brown

Making the Journey From “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”

The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life

Everybody falls, but the key is knowing how to get up again

How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

20 min

4.5

The Gap and the Gain

Dan Sullivan with Benjamin Hardy

The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

20 min

4.6

The Courage to Be Disliked

Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga

The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness

20 min

3.9

The Happiness Project

Gretchen Rubin

Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

24 min

4.3

Braving the Wilderness

Brené Brown

The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

Mindful lessons on love

Escape the mind-trap of imposter syndrome

The Journey Beyond Yourself

Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

27 min

4.6

How to Win Friends & Influence People

Dale Carnegie

Basic rules for how to make a good first impression

18 min

4.6

Walmart

Natalie Berg and Bryan Roberts

Key Insights and Practical Lessons from the World's Largest Retailer

How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

18 min

4.5

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Nathaniel Branden

The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field

The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything

The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

The Fall of Big Data and the Rise of the Blockchain Economy

23 min

3.9

Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Nedra Glover Tawwab

A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

The New Science of Interviewing

Say Less to Get More from Any Pitch or Presentation

Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN

36 min

4.6

The Ten Commandments for Business Failure

Donald R. Keough

Avoid the Mistakes That Can Ruin Your Business

How to Calibrate Your Decisions Wisely

19 min

4.1

Emotional Intelligence

You Can Heal Your Life

Louise Hay

A classic of self-realization with practical and spiritual advice for emotional and physical problems

23 min

4.5

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

David Richo

The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

14 Management Principles from the World's Greatest Manufacturer

15 min

4.4

I Respectfully Disagree

Justin Jones-Fosu

How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World

15 min

4.2

The Miracle of Mindfulness

Thich Nhat Hanh

An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

20 min

4.6

The Upside of Your Dark Side

Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener

Why Being Your Whole Self – Not Just Your “Good” Self – Drives Success and Fulfillment

Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

13 min

4.3

The Great Mental Models, Volume 4

Shane Parrish

Economics and Art

18 min

The Art of War (new version)

Sun Tzu

Classic military strategy for politics, business, and everyday life

How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant

8 min

4.1

Hold on to Your Kids

Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté

Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Master the Art of Business Strategy

18 min

4.0

Habits of a Peacemaker

Steven T. Collis

10 Habits to Turn Toxic Conversations Into Healthy Dialogues

Japanese Wisdom for a Perfectly Imperfect Life

Burn Fat, Heal Inflammation, and Eat Like the High-Performing Human You Were Meant to Be

Living in Sync with Our Circadian Rhythms

Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World

20 min

4.5

Good Morning, Monster

Catherine Gildiner

A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Journeys to Emotional Recovery

16 min

4.2

You Are a Badass at Making Money

Jen Sincero

Master the Mindset of Wealth

14 min

3.6

Build the Life You Want

Arthur C. Brooks & Oprah Winfrey

The Art and Science of Getting Happier

17 min

4.2

The Fine Art Of Small Talk

Debra Fine

How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills – and Leave a Positive Impression!

19 min

4.0

People ❤️ Blinkist

Sven O.

It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

Thi Viet Quynh N.

Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

Jonathan A.

Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

Renee D.

Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.