Who is the author of How to Win Friends & Influence People?

The author of How to Win Friends & Influence People is Dale Carnegie.

Communication Skills

How to Win Friends & Influence People Book Summary - How to Win Friends & Influence People Book explained in key points

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How to Win Friends & Influence People summary

Name: How to Win Friends & Influence People
Rating: 4.6 (282 reviews)
Author: Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie

Basic rules for how to make a good first impression

4.6 (282 ratings)

18 mins

Brief summary

How to Win Friends & Influence People offers timeless principles for improving interpersonal skills, fostering meaningful relationships, and achieving success through effective communication and genuine engagement with others.

Topics

Persuasion

Table of Contents

How to Win Friends & Influence People
Summary of 7 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Master the art of human relationships.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a titan of a self-help title. It’s been in print since 1936, and the advice is still incredibly relevant today. After all, who doesn’t want to have an easier time making friends? And who couldn’t benefit from more influence at work? We all could stand to improve our relationships and communication skills – and that’s where these blinks come in. You’ll discover simple, concrete techniques that’ll help you get what you want in any social situation.

These blinks are the ultimate guide to getting along with people and enjoying happier and more fruitful relationships. Combining anecdotes with actionable advice, they’re full of tips that have already enriched the lives of millions.

In these blinks, you’ll learn...

why you should never criticize others;
what Al Capone can teach us about leadership; and
what dogs can teach us about making friends.

Praise is more effective than criticism.

Think about Al Capone for a second.

I bet a few associations spring to mind – like mob violence, corruption, and criminal-protection rackets.

Whatever you know about the famous gangster, you probably don’t think of him as a do-gooder or public benefactor. But one man did – Capone himself. As he put it, “I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man.” The notorious mobster who terrified Chicago believed that, deep down, he was a good man.

What can we learn from this? Well, like Al Capone, we tend to believe we’re in the right, no matter what we’ve done. But if we struggle to criticize ourselves, just imagine how we feel when we’re criticized by others.

The problem with criticizing people is that it puts them on the defensive. People take it personally when they’re told they’re in the wrong. Their natural instinct is to justify their behavior. What’s worse, people tend to bear lasting grudges against those who criticize them, even if the criticism was well-intentioned.

So what’s the solution? It’s true that people need to be urged to change their ways from time to time. But if we can’t help them by criticizing them, what can we do?

The answer’s simple: we can praise them. Everyone wants to feel valued and important, and a few words of appreciation can get you closer to your desired result than any amount of criticisms and complaints.

That was the philosophy of Charles Schwab, a phenomenally successful steel magnate. According to Schwab, his ability to manage people was the key to his success in business. Unlike most senior businesspeople, Schwab tried to criticize others as little as possible. Instead, he focused on praising them.

In his decades of business experience, Schwab found that you can achieve far more by encouraging and praising people than you can by criticizing them. Praise inspires us to work harder and better, and makes our relationships much warmer.

Make everyone you meet feel interesting and important.

Picture this. You've come home from a long day at work, and as soon as you open the door, you see your puppy bounding toward you. Her tail is wagging, and she's jumping up in excitement. You can’t help but smile at your cute, furry friend.

If you have a dog, then you understand why people keep them as pets: it's because of how they make us feel. Dogs make such great companions because they simply can't hide their affection for us.

Encourage others to talk, and listen carefully when they do.

In the midst of the American Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln summoned an old neighbor to the White House, seeking advice. When he arrived, Lincoln spent hours discussing the emancipation of the enslaved people in the South. Was it a good idea? Would the country as a whole react positively?

Lincoln went back and forth all evening, examining the pros and cons of every possible move. Then, without receiving a word of advice from his old friend, he finished up, thanked his neighbor, and sent him home.

If you can’t avoid an argument, then disagree as gently as possible.

How do you win an argument? By tangling your opponent in argumentative knots? By showing that your facts and figures are indeed correct? Or by cleverly exposing some logical fallacy in your opponent’s way of thinking?

None of these is a good idea. If you “win” an argument like that, your opponent will come to resent you – and if your opponent resents you, you can be sure he’ll never agree with you.

Get others to agree with you from the start, and then gently lead them to your conclusions.

Socrates, the ancient Greek philosopher, understood the fine art of persuasion. By asking the right questions in the right way, he convinced people to affirm things they’d never believed before.

How did he do it? Well, he made sure to get them in an affirmative state of mind. That means he got them into the habit of saying yes.

Try to understand other people’s viewpoints.

Jay Mangum was in a difficult situation. He represented an elevator maintenance company, and he needed to schedule some repairs at a hotel.

Jay knew the work would take a full day, but the hotel manager didn’t want to shut the elevator down for longer than two hours. So what did Jay do? Did he say that the repairs were impossible to rush?

Set the bar high and people will strive to meet it.

Ruth Hopkins, a fourth-grade teacher from Brooklyn, New York, got a surprise on the first day of school. She’d been assigned a new class for the year and realized that Tommy, the biggest troublemaker in the school, was now among her students.

Though he was smart, Tommy was very disobedient – his previous teacher had complained about him day in, day out. How would Ruth cope?

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What is How to Win Friends & Influence People about?

How to Win Friends & Influence People (1936) provides a masterclass in managing and dealing with people. From making a good first impression to disagreeing effectively, it contains all you need to know about becoming skillful, pleasant, and assured in your personal and business dealings.

How to Win Friends & Influence People Review

How to Win Friends & Influence People (1936) by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide on building meaningful relationships and enhancing communication skills. Here's why this book is a must-read:

Employs practical techniques that can be applied in various aspects of life, fostering positive interactions and personal growth.
Spotlights the importance of empathy and understanding others, laying the groundwork for successful social interactions and collaborations.
Offers real-life examples and anecdotes that bring the principles to life, ensuring the content remains engaging and relevant for readers.

Who should read How to Win Friends & Influence People?

Salespeople, managers, parents, teachers – anyone dealing with people
Business leaders trying to boost their charisma
Self-help enthusiasts interested in a genre-defining classic

About the Author

Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) was an American speaker, author, and communication and motivation consultant. In his own lifetime, Dale Carnegie’s professional training courses helped to advance the careers of almost half a million people, and his books have sold over 15 million copies.

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