Powerful ideas from top nonfiction
Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trial
Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Listen to the Intro
Stop Walking on Eggshells summary
Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger
Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
18 mins
Table of Contents
Stop Walking on Eggshells
Summary of 5 key ideas
Audio & text in the Blinkist app
Key idea 1 of 5
Understanding borderline personality disorder
As a boy, Ken never knew what to expect from his mother. One day she would be affectionate, drawing him close and remarking how special their bond was. The next, a trivial mistake would trigger a torrent of stinging criticism: he needed a haircut, his shirt was ugly, his manners were poor. His mother’s expectations shifted like sand, impossible to grasp.
Years later, Ken recognized his mother likely had borderline personality disorder. And yet this realization was insufficient to heal the wounds he’d received in childhood. He’d developed a suspicion of people and had a hard time forming close relationships. Even minor perceived slights from his wife unleashed an involuntary wave of hurt and anger, as if responding to his mother’s presence. He remained trapped, reliving childhood wounds inflicted by a troubled parent, powerless to break free.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a complex and often-misunderstood psychiatric condition characterized by difficulties with emotion regulation, impulsivity, and unstable interpersonal relationships. People with BPD struggle to maintain a stable sense of self and frequently alternate between idealizing and devaluing others. Their intense emotions and relationship difficulties make life challenging not only for themselves, but also for their loved ones.
Let’s take a closer look at this complex disorder.
First, what exactly are “personality disorders?” They’re a class of disorders that reflect not temporary moods or mere episodes of anxiety, but enduring and inflexible patterns – dysfunctional patterns of inner experience and interpersonal behavior that persist over time and across situations.
Personality disorders typically arise in adolescence or young adulthood. Although genetic factors may be involved, they’re seen as originating in deeply ingrained, maladaptive attempts to meet emotional needs and navigate the world.
So, what about the “borderline” part? This label arose from therapists' sense that patients were perched on the border between neurosis and psychosis. This idea has since been discarded, but the name has stuck. First described in the 1930s, today BPD is recognized as a distinct disorder affecting 1 to 2 percent of adults.
BPD is a controversial diagnosis. Notably, women are diagnosed more often than men. Some clinicians argue that it’s over-diagnosed, yet others miss its shifting symptoms entirely. Despite increased awareness in recent years, BPD remains highly stigmatized. Those suffering from it are often labeled as manipulative, attention-seeking, or beyond help.
In reality, many are simply trying to cope as best they can with excruciating inner turmoil. At its core, BPD symptoms stem from an unstable sense of self. Without an inner anchor, BPD sufferers desperately seek external sources of identity and self-worth. This manifests in a variety of difficult ways, which we’ll look at next.
Want to see all full key ideas from Stop Walking on Eggshells?
Key ideas in Stop Walking on Eggshells
More knowledge in less time
Read or listen
Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
Find your next read
Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
Shortcasts New
We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.
What is Stop Walking on Eggshells about?
Stop Walking on Eggshells (1998) offers a lifeline to the beleaguered loved ones of those suffering from borderline personality disorder. It provides techniques grounded in empathy and understanding to establish healthy boundaries without abandoning those in need.
Who should read Stop Walking on Eggshells?
- Partners or family members of someone with borderline personality disorder
- Individuals seeking to understand personality disorders and emotional dysregulation
- Anyone searching for compassionate approaches to complex psychological issues
Categories with Stop Walking on Eggshells
Books like Stop Walking on Eggshells
People ❤️ Blinkist
Sven O.
It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.
Thi Viet Quynh N.
Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.
Jonathan A.
Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.
Renee D.
Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.
People also liked
Start growing with Blinkist now
28 Million
Downloads on all platforms
4.7 Stars
Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
91%
Of Blinkist members create a better reading habit*
*Based on survey data from Blinkist customers