Permission to Feel Book Summary - Permission to Feel Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro
00:00

Permission to Feel summary

Marc Brackett

Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

4.6 (186 ratings)
27 mins

Brief summary

Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett is a guide to emotional intelligence that explores how to identify, understand and manage our emotions. It offers practical tools and strategies to create a positive emotional culture within ourselves and our community.

Table of Contents

    Permission to Feel
    Summary of 9 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 9

    Learning to identify and accept his emotions transformed the author’s life.

    As little kids, we freely express our emotions. But as we get older, many of us are told to toughen up and push those feelings away – with terrible results for our well-being. 

    The author, Professor Marc Brackett, is very familiar with that experience. As a young boy, he was in constant emotional pain. He was bullied at school and sexually abused by a neighbor who was a family friend. To make matters worse, his community socially ostracized him when the abuse was discovered. 

    Struggling with their own problems, his parents couldn’t provide any support – his mother was an alcoholic, and his father was always enraged. They had no idea how to deal with their own emotions, let alone his. 

    The key message here is: Learning to identify and accept his emotions transformed the author’s life.

    Like generations before him, Marc learned to push his feelings down, hoping to make them disappear. He was so successful that he became completely numb. 

    But ignoring his emotions only made them stronger – and even more toxic. It affected his behavior. He did badly in school, fought with his parents, and was generally surly and misbehaved. Most people found him unpleasant and avoided him, or punished him. But nobody stopped to question why he was acting out. Until, in the author’s own words, “a miracle took place.” This miracle came in the form of his uncle Marvin.

    Marvin was a teacher. Unlike other adults in Marc’s life, he really took the time to listen. He showed Marc that he valued his company. One day, he asked him a seemingly simple question: “How are you feeling?” No one had asked him that before – especially not someone who really wanted to know the answer. Suddenly, all of Marc’s sadness, loneliness, and anger flooded out of him. He sobbed and released his feelings for the first time. 

    With this life-changing moment, the author opened a window to his feelings; now he could finally start learning how to deal with them. Despite being painful, releasing all those years of bottled-up emotions allowed him to start connecting with himself. Thus began his journey of healing and a career dedicated to helping others deal with their emotions.

    Want to see all full key ideas from Permission to Feel?

    Key ideas in Permission to Feel

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is Permission to Feel about?

    Permission to Feel (2019) reveals that our emotions play a vital role in our cognitive processes, physical health, and relationships – but most of us don’t know how to identify exactly what we’re feeling, and why. Luckily, all of us can learn to be more emotionally intelligent by practicing emotion skills. This trains us to identify what we’re feeling, understand where the emotion is coming from, and manage our triggers. By giving ourselves permission to truly experience all of our emotions, we can greatly reduce stress and increase our well-being.

    Best quote from Permission to Feel

    Feelings are a form of information. Theyre like news reports from inside our psyches. 

    —Marc Brackett
    example alt text

    Who should read Permission to Feel?

    • Burned-out teachers who want to reconnect with their students 
    • Parents who want to teach their children how to deal with their emotions
    • Anyone struggling to manage their emotions at home or at work

    About the Author

    Marc Brackett, PhD, is a research psychologist, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. He is also the lead developer of RULER, a curriculum for developing emotional intelligence, which has been taught to over one million students of all ages across the globe. 

    Categories with Permission to Feel

    Book summaries like Permission to Feel

    People ❤️ Blinkist 
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked these summaries

    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    28 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    10+ years
    Experience igniting personal growth
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial