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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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Taking Sexy Back summary
Alexandra H. Solomon
How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want
21 mins
Brief summary
Taking Sexy Back is a transformative guide that redefines modern sexuality, encouraging women to reclaim sexual autonomy, build self-understanding, and cultivate authentic connections. It empowers readers through introspection, informed by therapy and research insights.
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Taking Sexy Back
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Key idea 1 of 6
Sexuality inside and out
Have you ever faked an orgasm or stayed silent about your desires? Have you ever felt unable to open up about what you wanted in bed? You’re not alone. These are symptoms of a deeper problem: our culture expects women to be sexy but not sexual, to be appealing but not demanding, to be available – but not to be hungry.
The author calls this “outside-in” sexuality – where women experience their sexuality primarily through others' eyes, performing rather than feeling. They learn to gauge their sexual worth through external validation, disconnected from their desires and even from their own bodies. Too many women have learned to perform their sexuality like actors on a stage, disconnected from their authentic selves.
But there's a powerful alternative: building sexuality from the “inside-out.” This means quieting the noise of external expectations and reconnecting with the authentic sexual self. It's about moving from performance to enjoyment, from numbness to aliveness, from shame to comfort and pleasure.
The #MeToo movement has shown that when women find their voice, they shake the very foundations of patriarchy. In a world where one-third of women experience sexual violence, and where still more face harassment, reclaiming sexuality is an act of resistance.
By learning to say “no” with greater clarity and confidence, you gain the power to say “yes” – a full-bodied, authentic yes of genuine desire, rather than obligation or performance. That yes can mean “I love you,” “I need comfort,” or “I want to try something new.” But when sexuality flows from the inside out, every "yes" comes from the heart.
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What is Taking Sexy Back about?
Taking Sexy Back (2020) is a radical guide to helping women reclaim their authentic sexuality. In a culture that reduces "sexy" to a performance while imposing shame and conflicting expectations, it provides practical tools and mindfulness-based approaches for developing sexual self-awareness, understanding boundaries, and creating meaningful intimate connections.
Who should read Taking Sexy Back?
- Female-identified people seeking to build more authentic intimate connections
- Anyone looking for creating more aligned and authentic sexual experiences
- Anyone interested in the intersection of identity and sexuality
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