Name: Excellent Advice for Living
Rating: 4.2 (524 reviews)
Author: Kevin Kelly

What’s in it for me? Dodge common pitfalls on the path to a better life.

When Kevin Kelly turned 68, he sat down to curate a collection of pithy life advice he wished he'd encountered earlier. He intended to gift this informal compendium to his young adult children. However, over the following years, his treasure chest of aphorisms grew and took on a life of its own. Today, it contains 450 “bits” – a selection of which we’ll explore in this Blink.

Some of these bits are well-known and widely spouted. Kelly makes no claim of ownership or originality. Instead, he offers us a glimpse into the trove of maxims he’s accumulated from a vast array of sources on his journey to date. Perhaps most crucially, he offers an insight into the advice he believes best paves the way to a better life.

Just as a tiny acorn contains a giant oak, each of these bite-size bits could grow into a lengthy book in its own right. But rather than dictate how to apply the wisdom presented, Kelly invites you to expand on each bit to fit your life and experience. And if a bit doesn’t resonate? Simply set it aside and move on to the next.

So, fill your pockets with the proverbs that feel true to you at this moment in time. You can always return to this Blink as you venture further down the path to an excellent life.

Excellent advice for relating

Unless you choose a monastic existence tucked away on some remote mountain, you’ll spend a significant slice of time interacting with your fellow human beings. As a result, learning how to relate well with others can make your path to a better life much smoother.

When you first meet a stranger, let them know you’ll remember their name. Making someone feel seen and heard is one of the greatest – and cheapest – gifts you can bestow. A simple way to do this is to include their name in your reply after they’ve introduced themselves. You could frame this as, “Nice to meet you, John,” or, “Hi, Maria.”

Conversely, when meeting someone for a second or third time, be gracious and introduce yourself to them again. A straightforward “Hi Anna, Kevin Kelly” is often all that’s needed.

To be an exceptional conversationalist, focus on listening – to the subtext just as much as the words themselves. Talk less than you feel tempted to. That’s usually the right amount.

When you do speak, make sure that what you say checks three criteria: it’s true, necessary, and kind. Life will become lighter if you prioritize being considerate over being correct in your conversations with others.

Finally, while generosity is a great virtue to pour into your relations with others, stinginess is best when accepting engagements and making promises. Ultimately, people would prefer you didn’t commit in the first place than have you say yes initially, only to pull out at the last minute. You can provide a reason if you’d like, but remember that a polite “no” is a perfectly valid response in and of itself.

Excellent advice for traveling

Travel is one of life’s greatest joys. Few experiences can claim to be such a feast for the senses or so effectively reconnect us back to the world.

When deciding on your next vacation, let your interests guide you rather than a country’s cachet. If you love calligraphy, for example, why not head to China or Japan? Learning French? Choose from one of the 29 countries where it’s the official language. Have a Harry Potter-obsessed child? Spend some time in Scotland and England.

Excellent advice for surviving

Survival – it’s what our species is hardwired to do. For many of us, this looks drastically different from what it did for our prehistoric ancestors. Nowadays, it’s more about attaining social validation than outrunning saber-toothed tigers. But no one’s immune to random acts of God, so it’s wise to learn a handful of best practices.

Before we look at a couple of emergency contexts, let’s start with a more everyday occurrence: sleep.

Excellent advice for succeeding

If pursuing survival is our hardwiring, chasing success is our operating system.

For Kelly, succeeding isn’t about being the best at something. It’s about being the only of something. The most abundant opportunities – and rewards – lie in yet-to-be-charted territories.

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