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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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Active Listening Techniques summary
Nixaly Leonardo
30 Practical Tools to Hone Your Communication Skills
19 mins
Brief summary
Active Listening Techniques by Nixaly Leonardo presents practical strategies to improve listening skills, enhance communication, and foster deeper connections. It guides readers through various methods to become more attentive and empathetic listeners.
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Active Listening Techniques
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Key idea 1 of 8
Overcoming cognitive distortions.
Paul and Cheryl, a happily married couple, found themselves in a heated argument over a mundane task: chopping onions. Paul, proud of his cooking skills, offered Cheryl some advice, but Cheryl dismissed him with a sarcastic grin. Later, their conversation escalated into anger, revealing deeper issues rooted in their past experiences – Paul’s sensitivity to feeling powerless and Cheryl’s history of being demeaned by men. These unresolved experiences led to cognitive distortions, causing them to misinterpret each other’s intentions.
Cognitive distortions are irrational beliefs formed from past experiences that can distort how you perceive others’ words and actions. To become a better listener, you need to challenge these distortions and ensure they don’t interfere with your communication.
Start by identifying negative patterns in your thoughts. Make three lists: one for negative views about yourself in specific contexts, one for negative assumptions about others, and one for negative reactions you tend to have. This helps you recognize where your distortions lie.
Before engaging with someone who triggers these reactions, practice preparatory empathy. Take a moment to consider their perspective and focus on their positive intentions. During conversations, be mindful of any tension you feel. Aim to respond thoughtfully rather than react based on your automatic, distorted thoughts.
If you do react negatively, acknowledge it. Apologize and explain that your reaction was influenced by past experiences, and commit to improving. Journaling about these interactions can further help you process your reactions and develop greater self-awareness.
By actively challenging your cognitive distortions, you can improve your listening skills and foster healthier, more understanding relationships.
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What is Active Listening Techniques about?
Active Listening Techniques (2020) focuses on improving communication skills by teaching the art of active listening. It provides practical tools and exercises to help people become more engaged listeners, fostering better understanding and stronger connections in both personal and professional interactions.
Who should read Active Listening Techniques?
- Professionals seeking to improve workplace communication skills
- Couples interested in strengthening their relationship dynamics
- Anyone striving to improve their interpersonal communication abilities
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