Powerful ideas from top nonfiction
Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 5,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trial
Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Difficult Conversations summary
Douglas Stone
How to Discuss What Matters Most
Listen to the first key idea
Key idea 1 of 6
4.1 (259 ratings)
14 mins
6 key ideas
Audio & text
What is Difficult Conversations about?
Difficult Conversations (1999) takes a look at what makes a conversation difficult and why we often try to avoid them. It outlines how to correctly approach and maneuver through tough topics to build positive and meaningful relationships.
About the Author
Douglas Stone lectures at Harvard Law School and is an expert in negotiation and communication. He co-founded the Triad Consulting Group, a communication and education consultancy firm.
Bruce Patton is the co-founder of the Harvard Negotiation Project, a research entity that deals with conflict resolution and negotiation practices. Patton also founded Vantage Partners, a law firm representing some of the world’s biggest corporations.
Sheila Heen is a teacher at Harvard Law School and co-founder of the Triad Consulting Group. She also works as a mediator at the Singapore Supreme Court.
Table of Contents
Key idea 1 of 6
You shouldn’t avoid difficult conversations out of fear of the consequences.
Communication is key to getting what you want, but some conversations are harder to have than others.
A difficult conversation is anything you find a challenge to discuss. Common topics include race, religion, sexuality and gender politics, but it can extend to any conversations that make you uncomfortable – such as asking your partner to quit smoking.
Unpleasant talks are often avoided because the outcomes are unpredictable and the stakes are high, leaving you vulnerable. Your mind jumps back and forth, trying to decide the best course of action: Should I approach this issue? Or should I just let it go? If you choose to confront it, the situation could improve. However, there’s also the risk that you may get a less than favorable result.
Say you decide to talk to your neighbor about his dog keeping you up at night with its incessant barking. On the one hand, he might be very understanding and offer to keep the dog inside after dark. But he may also think you’re overreacting and hold a grudge against you for complaining.
No matter the situation, always take up the conversation – even if it’s difficult.
Difficult conversations aren’t ideal, but neither are barking dogs keeping you up at night. More often than not, these talks are worth the effort if there’s a chance they could improve your life. So don’t turn a blind eye – or a deaf ear – to something that’s bugging you. Instead, learn how to speak up in an effective manner, which we’ll teach you in the following blinks.
Want to see all full key ideas from Difficult Conversations?
Key ideas in Difficult Conversations
More knowledge in less time
Read or listen
Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
Find your next read
Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
Shortcasts New
We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.
Who should read Difficult Conversations
- Politicians and business leaders
- Teachers
- Parents
Categories with Difficult Conversations
Books like Difficult Conversations
What our members say
Sven O.
It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.
Thi Viet Quynh N.
Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.
Jonathan A.
Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.
Renee D.
Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.
Start growing with Blinkist now
25 Million
Downloads on all platforms
4.7 Stars
Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
91%
Of Blinkist members create a better reading habit*
*Based on survey data from Blinkist customers