Resurrecting Sex Book Summary - Resurrecting Sex Book explained in key points
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Resurrecting Sex summary

David Schnarch

Solving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship

4.2 (232 ratings)
24 mins

Brief summary

Resurrecting Sex by David Schnarch is a guide to help couples overcome sexual difficulties and experience more satisfying intimacy by exploring their individual eroticism and developing emotional intimacy.

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    Resurrecting Sex
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    A holistic, intimacy-based approach is the key to solving sexual problems.

    If you’ve run into sexual difficulties in your relationship, you’re not alone. In fact, sexual problems in otherwise healthy relationships are so common that they’re a sign of normality. But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it.

    Many of the author’s patients emerged from treatment and went on to have the most intense sex of their lives. And you can revolutionize sex in your relationship, too – if you’re ready to proceed with hope. 

    Keep in mind that the journey toward resurrecting sex may shatter some of your illusions about relationships. There’s no panacea for sexual dysfunction; it’s as complex as human beings are. To forge a deep sexual union and find true and meaningful peace within your relationship, you must be willing to be vulnerable and put your best foot forward.

    The key message here is: A holistic, intimacy-based approach is the key to solving sexual problems.

    The author’s approach is different from that of other well-known sex researchers, who tend to target sensation and individual pleasure. Instead, this method focuses on intimacy with your partner, based on a framework the author developed called the Quantum Model.

    What makes the Quantum Model different? Well, it investigates the causes of sexual function rather than dysfunction. This may sound simple; in fact, it’s anything but. A myriad of factors compose human sexuality – from health and physical stimulation to desire and love.

    Your body has two sexual response thresholds – one trigger point for initial sexual arousal via genital response, and another for orgasm. The three components of total stimulation are: receiving sensory stimulation, your body’s ability to respond, and your subjective emotions about what you’re feeling. If your total stimulation doesn’t reach – or drops below – your arousal or orgasm threshold, sexual dysfunction occurs. This is a totally normal feature of sexual functioning, not a sign that you’re defective.

    Many people develop a sex routine that produces just enough total stimulation to bring them to orgasm. But this is a precarious position. If any small change is introduced into the three components of stimulation, you suddenly have sexual dysfunction. Instead, aim to explore your sexual potential and greatly exceed your thresholds. That way, your sexual relationship will be more resilient to minor changes in stimulation. 

    Our sexual experiences have been greatly affected by their emotional contexts ever since the evolution of the neocortex half a million years ago. That was the point at which humans began to sexually desire specific partners – and when meaning and intimacy became a part of sex.

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    What is Resurrecting Sex about?

    Resurrecting Sex (2002) is a guidebook for couples struggling to connect intimately and emotionally due to sexual dysfunction. It offers a holistic approach to addressing these issues – and to exploring the erotic potential of your relationship.

    Resurrecting Sex Review

    Resurrecting Sex (2002) is a thought-provoking book that explores the complex dynamics of intimacy and desire, offering practical solutions to reignite passion in long-term relationships. Here's what sets this book apart:

    • It provides a refreshing perspective on sexuality, delving into the deeper psychological and emotional aspects that impact our sexual lives.
    • Backed by years of clinical experience, the author presents a range of strategies and exercises to help couples overcome challenges and cultivate a fulfilling sex life.
    • Through real-life case studies and honest narratives, the book demonstrates that restoring sexual intimacy is possible, instilling hope and motivating readers to take action.

    Best quote from Resurrecting Sex

    The ways anxiety shapes your sexual relationship also shape your whole marriage.

    —David Schnarch
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    Who should read Resurrecting Sex?

    • Couples struggling in the bedroom
    • Emotionally committed partners who want to enhance intimacy
    • Those looking for sex and relationship insights

    About the Author

    Dr. David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist and sex therapist. He is also the author of numerous books on intimacy, sexuality, and relationships, including the perennial best sellers Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships and Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship.

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    Resurrecting Sex FAQs 

    What is the main message of Resurrecting Sex?

    The main message of Resurrecting Sex is to revive intimacy and desire in long-term relationships.

    How long does it take to read Resurrecting Sex?

    It can take several hours to read Resurrecting Sex. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Resurrecting Sex a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Resurrecting Sex is a worthwhile read for anyone wanting to improve their intimate relationship. It offers valuable insights and practical guidance for reigniting passion.

    Who is the author of Resurrecting Sex?

    The author of Resurrecting Sex is David Schnarch.

    What to read after Resurrecting Sex?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Resurrecting Sex, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • Intimacy & Desire by David Schnarch
    • Good Arguments by Bo Seo
    • Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder
    • Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin
    • Making Great Relationships by Rick Hanson
    • Smart Sex by Emily Morse
    • How to Think More About Sex by Alain de Botton
    • Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
    • Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs
    • How to Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O'Kane