He Comes Next Book Summary - He Comes Next Book explained in key points
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He Comes Next summary

Ian Kerner

The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

4.5 (366 ratings)
20 mins

Brief summary

In 'He Comes Next', sex therapist Ian Kerner provides a guide for women to help their partner reach orgasm and enhance their sexual experience. It covers techniques and tips to improve communication and better understand male sexual anatomy.

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    He Comes Next
    Summary of 8 key ideas

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    The pelvic area is a highly guarded area – both physiologically and psychologically.

    Keeping the family jewels well protected is an instinctual matter for every guy. If a man wakes up at night and has to cross a dark room filled with potential obstacles he might bump into, he’ll instinctively guard his junk against any painful collisions.

    He’ll do this even if he’s half-asleep! Because self-protection, as well as sexual arousal, is all about physiology and instinctive reflexes.

    Unlike a woman, a man’s genitals protrude outward, and the glans, or head of the penis, is the most physically sensitive part of his body. If the man is uncircumcised, the glans will be protected by the foreskin, a bit of tissue that automatically retracts to expose the head of the penis when he’s aroused.

    Another very sensitive part of the body is the testicles, and these too will experience an automatic, physiological reaction during sexual arousal. They’ll scrunch up closer to the body.

    But when it comes to the penis, we must also pay attention to the ways a man can protect himself psychologically.

    The shaft of the penis gets a lot of attention since this is what fills up with blood to become erect during arousal. And for men, just how big and hard the penis gets is the subject of significant psychological strain, even though nearly all women agree that men fixate and place too much emphasis on penis size.

    If you ever find yourself dealing with a man who becomes overly concerned about his penis not being sufficiently big or hard enough, be sure to use this as an opportunity to establish a channel of trust about each others’ sexual anxieties and desires. For example, you could make it clear that his penis isn't even needed to give you an orgasm, so he should worry less about his size and hardness and more about your clitoris or other desires.

    Moving further down to the other bits that are stored below a man’s belt, we reach the perineum and then the anus. Given their location, both are naturally and biologically well protected. But due to the taboos surrounding the ass and its various functions, this area can be as guarded as Fort Knox – even though it’s full of sensitive and pleasurable nerve endings. In fact, just two inches inside the anus is the male G-spot, capable of providing immense sexual gratification when stimulated.

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    What is He Comes Next about?

    He Comes Next (2006) is the ultimate guide to understanding the desires of men and the intricacies of their sexual response process. This understanding that can help bring more pleasure than your male sexual partner has ever experienced before. These are tips that can help you touch his heart and know what to do when you’re touching his other parts.

    He Comes Next Review

    He Comes Next (2006) is a must-read for anyone looking to enhance their sexual pleasure and improve their intimate relationships. Here's why this book stands out:

    • Packed with clear, practical tips and techniques, it equips readers with the tools to unlock new levels of pleasure and satisfaction.
    • Based on scientific research and expert knowledge, the book provides valuable insights into male sexuality and dispels common misconceptions.
    • With its engaging and approachable tone, it breaks down complex subjects, ensuring that the exploration of pleasure is neither intimidating nor boring.

    Best quote from He Comes Next

    As a woman, you cant underestimate just how much of a guys sexual identity is wrapped around his penis.

    —Ian Kerner
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    Who should read He Comes Next?

    • Couples who want to improve their love life
    • Readers hoping to send their male partners into sexual ecstasy
    • Men who are curious about their sexual topography

    About the Author

    Dr. Ian Kerner is a licensed psychotherapist with years of expertise in dealing with sex and relationships. His previous book, the New York Times bestseller She Comes First, has been translated into over a dozen languages.

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    He Comes Next FAQs 

    What is the main message of He Comes Next?

    He Comes Next is a guide to improving sexual satisfaction and communication, helping couples have better sex lives.

    How long does it take to read He Comes Next?

    The estimated reading time for He Comes Next varies but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in 15 minutes.

    Is He Comes Next a good book? Is it worth reading?

    He Comes Next is worth reading as it provides practical advice and insights on improving sexual relationships.

    Who is the author of He Comes Next?

    The author of He Comes Next is Ian Kerner.

    What to read after He Comes Next?

    If you're wondering what to read next after He Comes Next, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • She Comes First by Ian Kerner
    • Passionista by Ian Kerner
    • Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori A. Brotto
    • Magnificent Sex by Peggy J. Kleinplatz and A. Dana Ménard
    • Love Worth Making by Stephen Snyder
    • The Man's Guide to Women by John Gottman
    • The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
    • How to Think More About Sex by Alain de Botton
    • Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell
    • Sex for One by Betty Dodson