The Love Prescription Book Summary - The Love Prescription Book explained in key points
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The Love Prescription summary

John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman

Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy

4.6 (190 ratings)
18 mins
Table of Contents

    The Love Prescription
    summarized in 7 key ideas

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    Key idea 1 of 7

    Look for small moments to connect.

    Here’s something you’ve probably heard before – “Find ways to connect with your partner.” Standard advice, right? But maybe easier said than done.

    Perhaps you can relate to Jeremy and Alison who came to a couples retreat organized by the Gottmans. They knew they had to fix their relationship, but they were completely burned-out. 

    This was in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. Jeremy and Alison were both working from home while trying to supervise their young children as they studied remotely.

    “When do the two of you have opportunities to connect?” the Gottmans asked.

    Jeremy and Alison blinked, incredulous. There weren’t any opportunities. They just didn’t have the time to connect with each other.

    That’s how many couples feel. But actually, it’s not true. There are countless opportunities for meaningful connection throughout the day. We just have to spot them.

    The Gottmans call these opportunities “bids for connection.” A bid for connection might be something really subtle. For example, when your partner sighs. Maybe that’s an invitation to ask, What’s wrong?

    When your partner makes a bid for connection, you have three options. You can turn toward the bid, responding positively. You can turn away, not reacting at all. Or you can turn against, responding negatively.

    Picture this. You’re sitting next to your partner, who’s scrolling through articles on their phone. “Hey,” says your partner. “This is interesting.”

    That casual remark is a bid for connection. So how are you going to react?

    You could easily ignore the bid, or say something like “Not now – I’m in the middle of work.”

    Or, you could turn toward the bid. Look at your partner and ask, “What’s the article about?”

    Of course, it’s difficult to respond in the right way every single time. But you should try to turn toward your partner’s bids for connection as much as possible.

    Because here’s the thing. Over time, these moments add up. How you respond to your partner can make or break the relationship.

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    What is The Love Prescription about?

    The Love Prescription (2022) is a practical guide to creating more intimacy and connection in romantic relationships. Based on 40 years of research, the authors offer simple actionable advice that will help couples in any phase of their relationship.

    Who should read The Love Prescription?

    • Busy people struggling to find time for their relationship
    • Couples who feel the spark has gone
    • Anyone who wants to know how to make love last

    About the Author

    The Gottmans are a married couple who both work as psychologists. John Gottman is a renowned expert on marital stability who’s written more than 40 books, including the best seller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

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