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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Listen to the Intro
Status Games summary
Loretta Breuning
Why We Play and How to Stop
13 mins
Brief summary
Status Games delves into the primal instincts driving our quest for social status. Loretta Breuning explores how ancient survival mechanisms influence modern behaviors, offering insight into achieving personal satisfaction and healthier social interactions.
Table of Contents
Status Games
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How status games started
Admitting you care about social status isn’t exactly cocktail party material. In fact, in today’s world, it’s often easier to talk about your romantic life than to confess that you want to feel important. But here’s the thing: that desire – to be noticed, respected, and a little “above” – isn’t a flaw. It’s biology. Your brain is wired to care, and it has been for a very, very long time.
Long before humans showed up, mammals were already competing for status. Once they’d met their basic needs—food, safety, shelter—they used the rest of their energy to jockey for position, because higher status meant better chances of survival and reproduction. Those who moved up the social ladder got more access to resources and mates. They weren’t consciously thinking about spreading their genes—they just did what felt good—but nature, quite cleverly, designed brains that made it feel very good to do so.
Contrasting mammals with our cold-blooded cousins – reptiles – can help us understand why. Reptiles leave their young to fend for themselves. Yet, their gene pools endure because they produce so many offspring, knowing enough will survive and, eventually, mate. Mammals, on the other hand, have fewer babies, so they need to intentionally protect and nurture them. This single difference required a new kind of brain—one capable of bonding, learning, and building social groups. And with it came something else: a strong incentive to rise within those groups.
That’s where the serotonin and cortisol systems come in. Every time a mammal has a positive social experience – feeling included, praised, or respected – their brain rewards them with a hit of serotonin. Every time they feel rejected, overlooked, or threatened, cortisol sounds the alarm. Over time, the brain wires itself based on those experiences. Mammals start to associate certain behaviors, fellow mammals, or situations with good or bad feelings. In short, the mammalian brain learns how to play the status game early and quickly.
Indeed, identical patterns play out in the human mammal. Ancient civilizations wrote about social rivalry in their earliest texts, and across every culture, humans have found different ways to measure who’s up and who’s down. The rules may – and do – change, but the game stays the same.
The drive for status is part of what it means to be human. But understanding where it comes from doesn’t just explain your behavior – it also gives you the power to rethink it.
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What is Status Games about?
Status Games (2021) explores how the pursuit of social status drives much of human behavior, tracing these instincts back to our brain’s evolutionary roots. It explains how our brains reward status-seeking with feel-good chemicals like serotonin, shaping the way we interact, compete, and compare ourselves to others.
Who should read Status Games ?
- Anyone interested in better understanding social comparison
- Students studying human behavior or psychology
- Coaches and therapists supporting personal development
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