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Shameless summary

Nadia Bolz-Weber

A Sexual Reformation

3.4 (132 ratings)
18 mins

Brief summary

Shameless by Nadia Bolz-Weber is an inspiring memoir that challenges the stereotypes of what a Christian should be. Nadia's vulnerability, honesty, and humor will encourage readers to embrace their flaws and find beauty in imperfection.

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    Shameless
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    The church’s teachings about sexuality exclude many people and force them to deny integral parts of themselves.

    Picture this: a school rolls out a fancy new uniform, and all the students are told that they have to wear it. 

    But there’s a problem. The uniform only comes in one size – a size the school deems good and right. But for many schoolchildren it’s not a good fit. It’s too big for some of them; for others, it’s too small. These children have to choose between wearing the uncomfortable uniform or getting in trouble if they don’t. Doesn’t seem fair, does it? 

    Well, in the author’s opinion, something similar plays out in the church when it comes to sexuality.

    The key message here is: The church’s teachings about sexuality exclude many people and force them to deny integral parts of themselves.

    It’s no secret that the church has very specific ideas about what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to sexuality. It teaches that only heterosexual Christian men and women who are married to each other should have sex. But there are many Christians who can’t tick all the requisite boxes: heterosexual, cisgender, happily married. Maybe they’re not married. Maybe they’re gay or trans – or don’t identify with prescribed gender roles.

    Like the school kids and their ill-fitting uniforms, Christians who don’t see themselves in the church’s teachings about sexuality must force a fit or face the consequences. 

    Often, they follow the church’s plan, which prevents them from having fulfilling sex lives. The author, a Lutheran pastor, came across many examples of this in her own congregation. She met young couples who, even after marriage, couldn’t shake the idea that sex was sinful and lesbians who hid their sexuality, believing there was something wrong with them.

    These people, and many others like them, have been hurt by the church’s restrictive teachings. The author proposes that the teachings be revised so that they prioritize people instead of causing them harm. She’s certainly not the first person in her church to take this approach. Martin Luther, the founder of the Lutheran church, had a similar philosophy. He believed that the pressure the church put on people to do things – like fast or go on pilgrimages – did more harm than good. 

    Just as Martin Luther disregarded certain teachings for the sake of his congregation, the author believes that a new approach to sexuality has the power to heal people from the sexual shame they’ve experienced in the church. 

    In the following blinks, we’ll explore how the church has, in many ways, made sexuality synonymous with shame.

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    What is Shameless about?

    Shameless (2019) explores how the church’s view of sex and sexuality as sinful has guilted and shamed its congregants. Through personal stories and those shared with her by members of her church, the author demonstrates the harmful effects of the church’s teachings. She offers a new, inclusive way of approaching sexuality and ensuring fulfilling sex lives for everyone.

    Shameless Review

    Shameless (2019) by Nadia Bolz-Weber is a refreshing exploration of shame and vulnerability that challenges societal norms and invites readers to embrace their authentic selves. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • With candid honesty, Bolz-Weber shares her own experiences and insights, creating a relatable and authentic narrative that resonates with readers.
    • Examining shame through a theological lens, the book offers a unique perspective that encourages personal growth and self-acceptance.
    • By challenging cultural taboos and promoting self-compassion, Shameless empowers readers to shed their inhibitions and live life on their own terms.

    Best quote from Shameless

    Being bearers of Gods image allows us to insist on the self-determination of our bodies and our pleasure.

    —Nadia Bolz-Weber
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    Who should read Shameless?

    • Christians struggling to reconcile their sexuality with their faith
    • People with an interest in theology
    • Anyone interested in the role of religion in a changing world

    About the Author

    Nadia Bolz-Weber is a public theologian, an ordained Lutheran pastor, and the founder of the House for All Sinners and Saints – a church in Denver, Colorado. She speaks frequently about issues of spirituality and faith and has been featured by the Washington Post, the New Yorker, CNN and the BBC. Bolz-Weber is also the author of two New York Times bestsellers, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of A Sinner & Saint and Accidental Saints: Finding God In All The Wrong People.

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    Shameless FAQs 

    What is the main message of Shameless?

    The main message of Shameless is empowering individuals to embrace their authentic selves and reject shame-based religion.

    How long does it take to read Shameless?

    The reading time for Shameless varies depending on the reader's speed, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Shameless a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Shameless is a powerful book that encourages self-acceptance and challenges oppressive religious beliefs. It's definitely worth reading.

    Who is the author of Shameless?

    The author of Shameless is Nadia Bolz-Weber.

    What to read after Shameless?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Shameless, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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    • Smart Sex by Emily Morse
    • What Is the Bible? by Rob Bell
    • Vagina by Lynn Enright
    • Resurrecting Sex by David Schnarch
    • How to Think More About Sex by Alain de Botton
    • I Didn't Know I Needed This by Eli Rallo
    • The Science of Kissing by Sheril Kirshenbaum