Powerful ideas from top nonfiction
Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trial
Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Listen to the Intro
Safe People summary
How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
20 mins
Brief summary
Safe People by Henry Cloud and John Townsend is a guide to identifying and establishing healthy relationships. It offers practical advice on recognizing and avoiding unhealthy patterns, setting boundaries, and building strong, supportive connections.
Table of Contents
Safe People
Summary of 6 key ideas
Audio & text in the Blinkist app
Key idea 1 of 6
Unsafe people can be destructive and lead to unhappiness.
You know that college girlfriend you can’t stop thinking about? The one who broke your heart back in sophomore year? Or that work buddy who you thought was shaping up to be a best friend until you realized that he was overly critical of everyone?
These are the unsafe people in your life, the ones who cause you more harm than good.
The key message here is: Unsafe people can be destructive and lead to unhappiness.
There are three different groups of unsafe people. First there are the abandoners. These are people who enthusiastically start relationships but rarely see them through. Let’s say you begin dating an abandoner. Things may get off to a great start – long phone calls, restaurant reservations, flowers, and chocolates. But the impetus rarely lasts once you pass the first impressions stage and flaws begin to appear. Abandoners don’t want true closeness, and when perfection isn’t attainable, they leave.
Then, there are the critics. If you want help solving a problem, your critical friend might be the ideal person to call. These people are excellent at analyzing situations and people. But, they’re also more motivated by being judgmental and fixing mistakes than by showing compassion and truly helping others.
Lastly, there’s the third group, the ones who you can’t count on to make or stick to a plan. We’ll call them the irresponsibles. Think of that friend who you made dinner plans with weeks ago. You’d agreed to meet at 7:00 p.m., but she left you sitting alone at the table until she swept in half an hour late with no apologies. While irresponsibles are fun and spontaneous, you can’t count on them.
So what do all these groups have in common? An inability or lack of desire for true closeness, with each other and with God. Inviting these types of people into your life without truly analyzing their impact on you can make you unhappy. And in the long run, their presence can even be destructive.
In the next blink, we’ll learn about how to recognize unsafe people by their personality traits.
Want to see all full key ideas from Safe People?
Key ideas in Safe People
More knowledge in less time
Read or listen
Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
Find your next read
Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
Shortcasts New
We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.
What is Safe People about?
Safe People (1995) examines the traits of safe and unsafe people and teaches readers how to seek out the former and avoid the latter in their search for meaningful relationships. From a biblical perspective, the book talks about the importance of true connection.
Safe People Review
Safe People (1995) by Henry Cloud and John Townsend is a book that explores the importance of surrounding ourselves with individuals who are trustworthy and supportive. Here's why this book is worth reading:
- It provides a practical roadmap for identifying and building healthy relationships, helping readers cultivate meaningful connections in their lives.
- By addressing the red flags and warning signs of unsafe people, the book empowers readers to protect themselves and make wise choices in their relationships.
- With its engaging case studies and relatable anecdotes, the book keeps readers engaged and helps them apply the insights to their own lives.
Who should read Safe People?
- Anyone interested in improving the quality of their relationships
- Christians seeking ways to improve their lives
- Lonely people looking for a way to build safe, happy, and lasting relationships
Categories with Safe People
Book summaries like Safe People
People ❤️ Blinkist
Sven O.
It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.
Thi Viet Quynh N.
Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.
Jonathan A.
Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.
Renee D.
Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.
People also liked these summaries
4.7 Stars
Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
35 Million
Downloads on all platforms
10+ years
Experience igniting personal growth
Safe People FAQs
What is the main message of Safe People?
The main message of Safe People is that surrounding ourselves with healthy and trustworthy individuals is crucial for personal growth and wellbeing.
How long does it take to read Safe People?
The reading time for Safe People varies depending on the reader's speed, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is Safe People a good book? Is it worth reading?
Safe People is worth reading as it offers valuable insights on identifying and building strong relationships, helping readers navigate the complexities of trust and personal boundaries.
Who is the author of Safe People?
The authors of Safe People are Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
What to read after Safe People?
If you're wondering what to read next after Safe People, here are some recommendations we suggest:
- The Power of the Other by Henry Cloud
- Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud
- Resilience by Mark McGuinness
- How to Stay Sane by Philippa Perry
- Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- The Relationship Cure by John M. Gottman and Joan DeClaire
- Either/Or by Soren Kierkegaard
- Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari
- Phaedo by Plato