What is the main message of Going Solo?

The main message of Going Solo is the rise of the solo-dweller and its impact on society.

Who is the author of Going Solo?

Eric Klinenberg is the author of Going Solo.

Society & Culture

Going Solo Book Summary - Going Solo Book explained in key points

Listen to the Intro

00:00

Going Solo summary

Name: Going Solo
Rating: 3.5 (224 reviews)
Author: Eric Klinenberg

Eric Klinenberg

The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone

3.5 (224 ratings)

11 mins

Brief summary

Going Solo by Eric Klinenberg explores the rise of the single-person household. It highlights the benefits and drawbacks of living alone and how it affects society.

Topics

Culture

Table of Contents

Going Solo
Summary of 5 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 5

What’s in it for me? Find out about the lives of singletons.

In the past, single women were often portrayed as spinsters or pathetic cat ladies, and men who remained bachelors also faced lots of ridicule.

Well, times have changed: today we’re all crazy about cats (and bachelors) and we’ve come to regard singlehood as a perfectly legitimate choice – nothing tragic about it. And it’s become a familiar experience, too. Chances are, you’ve spent some time as a single yourself.

Now, if you wonder when and how going solo became so common, these blinks are for you. You’ll also discover the great advantages and potential challenges of singledom – and learn what society can do to improve the lives of all the soloists among us.

And you’ll discover

what Greenwich Village has to do with singledom;
why so many Golden Girls prefer to live alone; and
why Swedish singles are better off than their counterparts elsewhere.

The number of adults living alone, or “going solo” has increased dramatically since 1950.

During the first half of the twentieth century, few Americans would have thought that so many people would be happily alone just a few decades later. Nowadays, around 50 percent of all US citizens are single, thanks to important shifts in the structure of the world.

One of the biggest reasons that more people are going solo is that women now play a much larger role in the workforce. Incredibly, between 1950 and 2000, the amount of working women in America increased from 18 million to 66 million!

In the 1950s and 1960s, a woman’s role was essentially to stay at home and raise her family. It was exceedingly uncommon for a woman to have a career or even to earn her own money.

During this period, divorce was also a rarity. In part, this was because it was frowned upon socially, but it was also because most women didn’t earn enough to support themselves financially.

As greater numbers of women began entering the job market and attaining financial independence along with a higher standing in society, the control that they had over their lives increased as well. In turn, the number of adults who lived by themselves rose.

Another key enabler is technological. After all, in the modern world, the proliferation of home communication technology prevents people from feeling lonely, even when there’s nobody else around. This is a big change from the early days of going solo when the landline telephone and television were the key devices used to shake off loneliness.

Today, we’re all so connected via social media and the internet that we feel like we’re socializing even when we’re at home by ourselves. And even if we do feel lonely, we have the comfort of knowing that our friends and family, not to mention the rest of the world, are a mere click away.

But beyond women climbing the career ladder and technology changing our lives, a number of other factors have influenced the move toward single living. Next up we’ll learn how population shifts to urban centers have also promoted this change.

Living alone as a lifestyle choice has deep roots in urban culture.

Throughout the last century, people from all over America flocked to big cities. These new urbanites came to cities for work, for the freedom to live alone and yet be in proximity to other like-minded people.

Just take the Greenwich Village of the 1930s, which was home to the first singleton community, a neighborhood where the vast majority of residents lived alone.

At the start of the twentieth century, the founding fathers and mothers of singledom, attracted by Greenwich Village’s appeal as a home for individualists, began a mass migration to this New York City neighborhood. They were drawn to its narrow streets, its abundance of social spaces and to Washington Square Park, a major gathering spot that afforded residents privacy while making it easy to meet others and discuss their ideas.

The anonymity promised by a big city was also exciting to these early singletons. They had come a long way from the small towns where they were raised, places where they were judged for their strange choices and felt isolated because there were no kindred spirits nearby.

Today, lots of young people make the same move to the city but in their case, it’s to start careers in competitive fields like banking, law and medicine. For these people, living alone is seen as an acceptable way to advance their career goals.

In part, this is because living alone reduces distraction, which is essential when working hard. Beyond this, solitude offers a perfect chance to decompress after a long day. Those at the very beginning of their careers know that they’re expected to put in long hours, going the extra mile to climb the ladder. As a result, they justifiably need a place to call their own, one that will give them the energy they need to succeed.

So, the early singletons set a precedent for a culture that, through its perks, would become increasingly popular. In the next blink, you’ll learn about the other advantages of living alone.

There are lots of advantages to going solo at any stage of life.

While solo living is often still viewed as less desirable than living with a partner or family, it’s a popular choice among adults of all ages, especially the elderly. So, what’s so great about living alone?

For starters, living alone helps build confidence and a sense of autonomy. Naturally, this is true for young adults who are just embarking on their lives, but it’s also true for divorcees.

While some might consider it horribly lonesome to be on your own following a divorce, lots of people actually find it a relief after a relationship in which they felt lonely despite the presence of their spouse. And just about everyone can agree that there’s nothing worse than feeling lonely around other people.

Secondly, people who live alone have a much greater degree of control over their lives and can do things that make them truly happy, like mountaineering or spending the entire weekend writing at home. Single people are free to make these choices since they don’t have to constantly consider the interests and abilities of their partners.

And finally, going solo helps you keep a sense of freedom and dignity as you reach old age. So, while plenty of people are still anxious about dying alone, many elderly women would rather live out their final days on their own than remarry or move in with their family.

This is important as elderly women tend to outlive their husbands and are therefore much more likely to die alone. Many of these widows choose not to remarry since they don’t want to end up being a caretaker for a second husband. Not just that, but it’s also less appealing to older women to live with their children than you might think. Having independence in older age gives them a sense of purpose, which can actually extend their lives.

Single men are more likely to become isolated than single women.

So, living alone can afford you all kinds of benefits, but if you want to pull it off without feeling lonely, you’ll need a strong network of family and friends. For most women, this task is more easily accomplished than for their male counterparts.

After all, unlike women, men aren’t encouraged as children to form supportive relationships and, as a result, are less likely to engage in community activities. Instead, men are generally raised to build relationships based on competition and machismo. This makes them less capable later in life of using their friends as a support system that functions like a family.

The value of such a supportive network can’t be overstated. Just take elderly women who have strong support systems. They know that if they need help, there’s always someone to call. By contrast, men rarely feel they have such options.

This discrepancy is also due to the fact that single men are less likely to get involved in community activities, which are often great opportunities to meet new friends. While women are more likely to take a variety of classes and workshops, men tend to meet up with a few friends every so often.

Such isolation becomes particularly acute for men who live in single room occupancy dwellings or SROs. These one room units can be rented out at a low cost, which makes them attractive to the unemployed, the mentally ill, recovering addicts and the formerly incarcerated.

Lots of the men who call SROs home keep away from their neighbors for fear of being dragged back into lives that they’re trying to escape, or simply because they don’t want to admit that they’re of the same low social status as their fellow tenants. These men are also less likely to reach out to friends or family because of the embarrassment their life situations cause them – a fact that prompts even further isolation.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. One bright spot is an organization called Common Ground (now known as Breaking Ground) which rehabilitates SROs around the country, making them more habitable. The attractive communal spaces in these renovated buildings encourage residents to spend time together and invite over their relatives.

Changes should be made to support aging singles.

Living alone isn’t the end goal for most people, but is rather a state that we enter into and out of. That being said, there are an increasing number of people who spend longer periods of their lives on their own and they should be encouraged to make the most of this time.

We could help this happen by developing social services to protect the elderly from becoming isolated. Nursing homes could be improved so that their elderly residents welcome moving into such a facility rather than fear it.

This is a major issue because for-profit nursing homes are often run in appalling ways; they employ underpaid, under-qualified staff who make their residents feel isolated from those surrounding them as well as from the outside world.

Beyond that, assisted living should be available to all people, not just the affluent few. This service combines a sense of independence with a social atmosphere that does wonders to improve the length and quality of an elderly person’s life. Unfortunately, as it is, assisted living isn’t an option for most people in the US.

But just because it’s not a reality now doesn’t mean it couldn’t be. Just take Sweden. This northern European country has superb social welfare services as well as great public health care, two amenities that benefit singles of any age by providing a safety net – even for people without families to support them.

Not just that, but Sweden also has cooperative housing projects in which people as young as 40 live with elderly people to maintain a lively atmosphere for the older residents and create a purpose for the younger ones, who assist their less able housemates.

Swedish parents even commonly register their children for state-run single dwelling apartments as soon as they’re born so that they can move in right after high school. So, let’s take a page out of Sweden’s book and make moves toward a more individualized way of living that will create a more happy and fulfilled society for all people.

Want more?
Read or listen to the key ideas
from 7,500+ titles

Key ideas in Going Solo

More knowledge in less time

Read or listen

Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.

Find your next read

Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.

Shortcasts ^New

We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

What is Going Solo about?

Going Solo (2012) explains the sociological factors that have led so many adults to live on their own. These blinks detail the history of solo living, describe the benefits of choosing such a lifestyle and explore the different conditions under which solo adults live.

Going Solo Review

Going Solo (2012) explores the rising trend of people living alone and the implications it has on society. Here's why we recommend this book:

Rich with research and interviews, the book provides a deep understanding of the reasons behind the increase in solo living and the impact it has on people's lives.
Through personal stories and statistics, the author sheds light on the benefits and challenges that come with living alone, making it an intriguing exploration of modern living.
With its thought-provoking insights and engaging narrative, the book keeps readers captivated, challenging common assumptions about the meaning of home and relationships.

Best quote from Going Solo

Today, 31 million adults in the United States are living alone.

—Eric Klinenberg

Who should read Going Solo?

Sociology students
Newly single people
Bachelors and bachelorettes everywhere

About the Author

Eric Klinenberg is a sociologist and contributor to, among other publications, the New Yorker, Time magazine and the New York Times. He is a professor of sociology and the director of the Institute for Public Knowledge at New York University. His other titles include Heatwave: A Social Autopsy of Disaster in Chicago.

Categories with Going Solo

Society & Culture

Book summaries like Going Solo

Sex for One

Betty Dodson

The Joy of Selfloving

24 min

4.2

The Art of Living Alone and Loving It

Jane Mathews

Your inspirational toolkit for a whole and happy life

The Secret to Love That Lasts

How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy

An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel

Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First

What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know

The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being

How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons

17 min

3.4

A Biography of Loneliness

Fay Bound Alberti

The History of an Emotion

Using Nature's Playbook to Spark Energy, Ideas, and Action

Vengeance and Justice in Mycenae

13 min

3.4

Never Get a “Real” Job

Scott Gerber

How to Dump Your Boss, Build a Business and Not Go Broke

20 min

3.9

The Wealth Money Can't Buy

Robin Sharma

The 8 Hidden Habits to Live Your Richest Life

The stoic thinking of a Philosopher-King

The Subtle Science of Getting Ahead Without Losing Yourself

17 min

Words on the Move

John McWhorter

Why English Won’t – and Can’t – Sit Still (Like, Literally)

How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex

23 min

2.9

The Upside of Your Dark Side

Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener

Why Being Your Whole Self – Not Just Your “Good” Self – Drives Success and Fulfillment

A guide to surviving your breakup with your self-respect in tow

23 min

4.4

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

David Richo

The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

26 min

4.5

The Psychology of Money

Morgan Housel

Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness

Break the Cycle, Alter Your Thoughts and Create Lasting Change

16 min

4.4

Million Dollar Habits

Brian Tracy

Proven Power Practices to Double and Triple Your Income

18 min

4.4

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor

Donald Robertson

The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius

Simple Principles for an Extraordinary Life

Japanese Wisdom for a Perfectly Imperfect Life

25 min

4.7

A Short History of Nearly Everything

Bill Bryson

A journey into the most intriguing and intractable questions that science seeks to answer

The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything

Why Some Companies Make the Leap...and Others Don't

The New Science of Self-Actualization

The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8 A.M.)

20 min

4.5

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen R. Covey

Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

How the Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives

17 min

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Robert T. Kiyosaki

What the Rich Teach Their Kids about Money – That the Poor and the Middle Class Do Not!

29 min

4.6

How to Hug a Porcupine

Sean K. Smith

Easy Ways to Love the Difficult People in Your Life

How to Create Lasting Love by Tapping Into Your Authentic Self

A Step-by-Step Guide to Pranayama

Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy, and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty, and Chaos

How Smart Professionals Change Careers and Seize Success

16 min

Faster Than Normal

Peter Shankman

Turbocharge Your Focus, Productivity, and Success with the Secrets of the ADHD Brain

15 min

4.4

Think Twice

Michael J. Mauboussin

Harnessing the Power of Counterintuition

A Straightforward 8-Week Protocol for Learning Focus

19 min

4.0

Rich Dad's Increase Your Financial IQ

Robert T. Kiyosaki

Get Smarter with Your Money

The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking

A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication

The New Workday Standard of Creating More by Working Less

A Research Based Program for Strength Training, Body Building, and Complete Fitness in 12 Minutes a Week

How Ancient Wisdom Can Change Your Life

21 min

4.5

The Energy of Belonging

Wendy Gates Corbett

75 Ideas to Spark Workplace Community

16 min

4.3

People ❤️ Blinkist

Sven O.

It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

Thi Viet Quynh N.

Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

Jonathan A.

Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

Renee D.

Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.