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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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Collaborating with the Enemy summary
Adam Kahane
How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust
17 mins
Brief summary
Collaborating with the Enemy by Adam Kahane presents strategies for working productively with those we resist, transforming conflict into collaboration. It emphasizes open communication, adaptability, and embracing uncertainty to achieve shared goals.
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Collaborating with the Enemy
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The counterintuitive wisdom of collaboration
Collaborating with people you don't like or trust might sound counterintuitive. But in today's polarized world, it's becoming a crucial skill. Think about how often you face problems that can't be solved alone. Whether at work or in your community, the biggest challenges often require diverse perspectives and unlikely partnerships.
This was true for Aisha, a marketing director at a tech startup. She constantly butted heads with Raj from the engineering team. Their opposing views on product development seemed irreconcilable. But when a major competitor threatened their market share, Aisha realized they needed a breakthrough. Instead of avoiding Raj, she invited him to brainstorm. Their heated debates led to an innovative solution that neither could have devised alone. By embracing their differences, they turned conflict into a creative solution.
And this approach isn't just for the workplace, either. In your personal life, you might find yourself at odds with neighbors over local issues. That's what happened to Miguel, who disagreed with his neighbor about a proposed community center. Instead of escalating the conflict, Miguel invited his neighbor for coffee. Listening to each other's concerns, they discovered shared values and found a compromise that benefited everyone.
So how can you start harnessing the power of unlikely collaborations? First, reframe your mindset. See your opponents in any conflict not as obstacles, but potential sources of insight. Their opposing viewpoint might be exactly what you need to see the full picture.
Next, practice active listening. When you engage with someone you disagree with, focus on understanding their perspective rather than defending your own. Ask questions. Show genuine curiosity. You might be surprised by what you learn.
Remember, collaborating with those who disagree with your viewpoint doesn't mean compromising your values. It's about finding common ground and working towards shared goals, even if you disagree on the details. This approach can lead to more creative solutions, stronger relationships, and personal growth.
Start small. Identify one person you usually avoid working with. Reach out and invite them to collaborate on a project. Be open to surprises and prepared for challenges. With patience and practice, you'll develop a valuable skill that can transform conflicts into opportunities. By embracing collaboration with unlikely partners, you're not just solving immediate problems. You're building bridges, fostering innovation, and creating a more resilient community or workplace. In a world that often seems divided, your willingness to engage could be the key to unlocking transformative change.
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What is Collaborating with the Enemy about?
Collaborating with the Enemy (2017) offers a fresh perspective on tackling complex challenges in an increasingly polarized world. It introduces practical strategies for turning conflicts into opportunities, offering guidance on working effectively with those we may see as adversaries to uncover breakthrough solutions and drive meaningful innovation.
Who should read Collaborating with the Enemy?
- Leaders managing conflicts within diverse or polarized teams
- Community organizers and activists working on contentious local issues
- Professionals seeking creative solutions through unconventional partnerships
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