A Biography of Loneliness Book Summary - A Biography of Loneliness Book explained in key points

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A Biography of Loneliness summary

Name: A Biography of Loneliness
Rating: 4.1 (124 reviews)
Author: Fay Bound Alberti

Fay Bound Alberti

The History of an Emotion

4.1 (124 ratings)

23 mins

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Culture

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A Biography of Loneliness
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What’s in it for me? Discover the surprisingly recent history of an emotion experienced by many today.

We’ve all known people who are lonely – perhaps we have even been lonely ourselves. A few hundred years ago, though, this wouldn’t have been the case. The word has taken on a new meaning, and a whole new concept has developed with it.

In these blinks, we'll look at the history of a concept that seems so fundamental today, but actually came into being as recently as around 1800. Alberti looks at how the concept has evolved in step with the society that surrounds it, looking at the factors that have contributed to its rise to prominence – today, after all, many people talk of an “epidemic” of loneliness, especially among the elderly.

Taking case studies including literature, social media, and Queen Victoria, these blinks re-evaluate this modern concept and consider the best way to think of it – and perhaps to prevent it – today.

Read on to find out:

the difference between loneliness and the older concept of “oneliness;”
whether social media is really to blame for millennials feeling lonely; and
what’s to blame for the rise of loneliness today – and what we can do about it.

Loneliness is a surprisingly recent concept, and these days it’s often called an epidemic.

It’s tempting to think of emotions as concepts that exist outside of time: intrinsic, fixed parts of what makes us human. But in fact, it’s possible for society to change so much that different emotions develop and change. One prominent example of that, with biting relevance today, is loneliness.

Think of that famous Beatles song, “Eleanor Rigby,” depicting a village full of lonely individuals. It’s deeply rooted in the 1960s, when huge societal changes led to a shift away from the traditional “nuclear” family unit of a stable marriage with children: that was a time when loneliness, especially among the elderly, started to become more common.

Fast forward to today, and it’s common to talk of loneliness as an “epidemic.” That’s more than just a metaphor: loneliness can lead to illness and even death, and the UK’s National Health Service estimates that lonely people have a 30 percent greater chance of dying earlier. Loneliness, the NHS says, increases the risk of conditions including dementia, depression, and even strokes.

This is all the more surprising because our contemporary concept of loneliness emerged as recently as the 19th century. What’s more, despite its prominence, loneliness remains difficult to define today – linguistically, it has no opposite, and it’s not the same as simply being alone as it also involves a sense of emotional lack. It’s useful to think of loneliness as a kind of emotional blend, incorporating elements of resentment, sorrow, shame, self-pity, and others.

But however you define it, there’s no doubting the significance of loneliness in contemporary society. You could even compare it to obesity, as they have a surprising amount in common. Both are chronic conditions, related to lifestyle, and particularly prevalent in the contemporary Western world. Both place great demand on health services. And both conditions are experienced by those unable to escape their own boundaries – the body in the case of obesity, and the mind in the case of loneliness. But loneliness isn’t a purely mental state. Like all emotions, it’s experienced and affected by the body as well as the mind.

How has loneliness in its contemporary sense come into being? The next blink will explore the history of the concept, as well as its meaning for us today.

The meaning of “lonely” has shifted in the past two centuries, in step with societal change.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word “lonely” dates back to the sixteenth century, and has two meanings: first, meaning sad because of a lack of company, and second, referring to a remote place. But only the second of those meanings was widely used before the nineteenth century. And the related term “loneliness” only started to be widely used around that same time.

This is more than just a change in language: it relates to the birth of a whole new concept.

The idea of the soulmate today is still as seductive – and dangerous – as ever.

Loneliness isn’t just experienced by those who are physically cut off from others. It can be experienced even by those who lead active social lives, such as the American writer and poet Sylvia Plath, who experienced it while at college. Her letters and journal entries paint a portrait of someone experiencing chronic loneliness, despite making friends and seeking out romantic relationships.

Part of the reason it’s so easy to feel alone even in company is the emphasis placed on finding our “soulmate” – the one person with whom we’re meant to spend our lives. Plath’s college journals show that she felt this need keenly, especially as a woman trying to balance societal expectations with her literary ambitions.

Losing a partner is a profoundly affecting experience – but it’s only become a “lonely” one in modern times.

Finding a partner can be hard, but losing one is horribly tough – and a common cause of loneliness. Widows and widowers face living in an environment filled with material reminders of their loved one: the objects and clothes that they used every day may spark feelings of nostalgia and hurt.

However, the experience of widowhood or widowerhood is another thing that has changed since our contemporary concept of loneliness has evolved. Two examples – one from before this modern concept, and one from after – show that shift in action. They also show how loss is a kind of equalizer, affecting everyone from monarchs to tradesmen.

Social media is often called a reason millennials feel lonely, but the reality is more nuanced.

Today’s “epidemic” of loneliness doesn’t just affect the old. In fact, a 2018 survey by the UK’s Office for National Statistics found that the age group most likely to report feelings of loneliness was young adults. And among this millennial generation, it’s commonly assumed that social media is responsible. But is social media really the cause of millennial loneliness? Or is it merely a symptom of it?

Certainly, it can play its part, as the contemporary term FOMO – fear of missing out – makes clear. In a 2012 survey, almost three in four young adults reported feeling FOMO, which is frequently a result of seeing other people’s social media posts depicting glamorous lifestyles. More studies support the idea that social media can have a profound effect on our emotions. An experiment conducted by Facebook itself in 2014 showed that the emotions a user observes in posts can affect their own emotions, creating an effect that ripples through vast groups.

We need to be better at meeting the needs of elderly people experiencing loneliness.

It’s no secret that loneliness is a particular problem in old age. According to recent estimates, a surprisingly low 5 to 16 percent of older people say that they are lonely – but that figure increases sharply to 50 percent for those aged 80 or older. Given the well-known fact that the population in Western nations is aging, this is a problem that is likely to worsen over time, and it’s no wonder that the aging population is often called a “ticking time bomb.”

This is a particular problem because, as already mentioned, loneliness is not just an emotional state. Even though it’s highly subjective, it can lead to serious medical consequences. Evidence suggests that loneliness is even an indicator of one’s likelihood of developing dementia.

Loneliness is experienced by diverse people, and in diverse ways – not all of them negative.

As the previous blinks have shown, loneliness is not easy to generalize about: it can be experienced by people from all walks of life, at all life stages, and it affects everybody in unique ways. The different cultural expectations of men and women mean that it’s a gendered issue, as well. Consider, for instance, the contrasting connotations of “spinster” and “bachelor” – two profoundly different ways to indicate singlehood.

It’s additionally important to remember that loneliness isn’t experienced purely by the mind: it’s also a physical experience.

Loneliness is a modern condition, and we need to re-evaluate how we think of it.

The shift from oneliness to loneliness hasn’t happened in isolation from all the other changes that have occurred in the last 200 years or so. Society today, as we have seen, is very differently configured to how it was in the past, and changes to the traditional family unit in particular have gone hand in hand with an increased focus on individualism.

One thinker who inadvertently exerted a huge influence on changing perceptions of loneliness is Charles Darwin. The concept of the survival of the fittest didn’t just change how we thought about biology: it came to have a much broader application to society at large, often referred to as social Darwinism. Social Darwinism maps the principle of evolution onto human life more generally, in fields like economics and politics, and elevates the concept of competition to something fundamental to any form of success.

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What is A Biography of Loneliness about?

We tend to think of loneliness, like any emotion, as something universal. But its history is surprisingly recent. In A Biography of Loneliness, cultural historian Fay Bound Alberti traces the development of the modern concept of loneliness since its origins around 1800, and addresses the question of how it has gained such prominence in contemporary society.

Who should read A Biography of Loneliness?

People interested in cultural history
Anyone interested in emotions
Those concerned by the prevalence of loneliness today

About the Author

Dr. Fay Bound Alberti has published books on medicine, the body, gender, and emotion, and is a reader in history and UKRI Future Leaders Fellow at the University of York. She has spoken and published widely, and taught at universities around the UK.

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