Who is the author of When Things Fall Apart?

Pema Chödrön is the author of When Things Fall Apart.

Mindfulness & Happiness

When Things Fall Apart Book Summary - When Things Fall Apart Book explained in key points

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When Things Fall Apart summary

Name: When Things Fall Apart
Rating: 4.3 (242 reviews)
Author: Pema Chödrön

Pema Chödrön

Heart Advice For Difficult Times

4.3 (242 ratings)

15 mins

Brief summary

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön is a guide to dealing with life's challenges. It presents Buddhist teachings and practices that help us find inner peace and compassion in the midst of difficult times.

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Happy Success Mental Health

Table of Contents

When Things Fall Apart
Summary of 6 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 6

What’s in it for me? Learn how to make lemonade when life gives you lemons.

When life knocks you down, it can be hard to get back up. Anyone who has ever been through a breakup, faced constant rejection when looking for a job or watched a loved one struggle will understand how difficult it can be to get back to feeling positive again. Some of us never really escape our struggles.

But we can also learn to approach life in a way that allows us to accept any obstacles that confront us. This strategy allows us to stay strong in times of adversity and keep calm in times of danger. These blinks explain how anyone can train their mind and emotions to remain level and composed even when things fall apart.

In these blinks, you’ll also learn

why loneliness can be cool;
why fear is nothing to be scared of; and
how we experience death every day.

Embracing your fears is your ticket to greater self-knowledge.

Most of us don’t enjoy being scared, which is only natural. But at certain stages in our lives, fear is something we should welcome.

By getting to know our fears rather than avoiding everything that frightens us, we can gain entirely new perspectives on our personality, relationships and past. Often, fear is our first reaction as we get closer to the truth behind a problem we’re facing.

But, if you want answers, you need to understand your fear on a deeper level by taking time to reflect on it. Normally, when things fall apart in our lives, be it our health or our marriage, we tend to focus all our energy on resolving the situation, without spending enough time learning about the situation itself.

The first thing we need to do to change this is to realize that our lives are in constant flux; things fall into place, fall apart and come together again in unexpected ways. To appreciate this process and learn from it, you have to create space in your life to let things happen – you might find that positive solutions emerge from the most surprising places.

Consider the story of a family in tough times, held together by one son who financially supported his parents and siblings through his work. When he fell off a horse and was severely injured, the family was desperately afraid for their future – it felt like the end of the world for them.

But just two weeks later, the army came into their village to collect all able-bodied men to fight in a war. Due to his injuries, the son was allowed to stay home. He was subsequently able to find work again, and continued to care for his family. In the end, all the family’s worries were needless, as the shifting nature of life had brought them an entirely new solution.

Loneliness is the perfect opportunity for self-observation and self-love.

Loneliness, like fear, is also something we take great pains to avoid. And yet, solitude provides us with some of the best opportunities to relax, recuperate and recenter.

Every day, we juggle our work lives and social engagements, doing our best to improve ourselves and constantly aiming to achieve bigger and better things. But not many of us recognize that there’s an alternative to this high-speed, high-stress lifestyle.

Hope has a surprisingly detrimental impact on our lives.

What is it that keeps us going when times get tough? Many of us think hope is what helps us cope with adversity, but the reality is that hope can make us fearful and anxious about the future, or lead us to disappointment.

The Tibetan language captures the relationship between hope and fear especially accurately. In Tibetan, the word for hope is rewa, while fear translates as dopka. The word re-dok refers to the combination of hope and fear, a feeling whose duality captures our perpetual dissatisfaction with ourselves.

Celebrating impermanence, suffering and egolessness brings us closer to the meaning of life.

Why do we exist? That’s a question humans have been grappling with for centuries. While these blinks can't offer a definitive answer, we will explore three truths of existence to deepen our understanding of our time on this planet. These truths are impermanence, suffering and egolessness, and getting to know these three can also make challenges in life seem a lot more bearable.

First, impermanence is the essence of life. Frightening as this may seem, it’s in our best interests to celebrate impermanence, and we can do so by recognizing it during times of new beginnings. When someone is born, when you fall in love with someone new or even when you start the day full of energy, by embracing the idea that these beginnings come with their own unique endings, you’ll become more mindful of impermanence and the way it shapes our lives.

Being compassionate toward others allows us to love ourselves more deeply.

Spending time working on yourself can feel a little strange at first – perhaps even a bit egocentric! But, ultimately, it can help you become a more compassionate person.

Compassion doesn’t just involve connecting with those less fortunate than us, but also with everyone around us and ourselves. Practicing compassion toward others can make you more accepting of yourself at the same time.

Meditation, breathing and a new perspective on the world can carry us through difficult times.

The lessons we’ve learned in these blinks can easily be applied to everyday life. And yet, when a lover leaves us or a boss begins to shout us down, it’s harder to put these techniques into practice. To stay on track, there are three ancient strategies you can use.

The first is called no more struggle. This is the practice of using meditation to recenter yourself at times when you feel powerless. Rather than struggling with your thoughts, embrace them and investigate them to find out more. What scares you most? What do you find repulsive? Observe yourself to find the answers to these tough questions.

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What is When Things Fall Apart about?

When Things Fall Apart (1997) is a guide to dealing with the biggest challenges life throws at you. These blinks explore a range of concepts and strategies, from meditation to self-compassion to breathing techniques, that’ll help you develop resilience in the face of adversity and a deeper appreciation for living in the moment.

When Things Fall Apart Review

When Things Fall Apart (1996) is a profound exploration of finding peace and resilience in the midst of life's inevitable challenges. Here's why this book is definitely worth reading:

Through deep wisdom and compassionate teachings, it offers practical guidance on embracing difficult moments and transforming them into opportunities for growth.
By challenging our perceptions of pain and suffering, the book invites us to develop a new perspective that can lead to inner peace and freedom.
With its undeniable honesty and vulnerability, it creates a safe space for readers to acknowledge their vulnerabilities and find strength in the face of adversity.

Best quote from When Things Fall Apart

Bodhichitta is Sanskrit word for noble or awakened heart

—Pema Chödrön

Who should read When Things Fall Apart?

Readers curious about the applications of Eastern philosophy to personal challenges
Professionals who feel that their lives are overcome by stress
Perfectionists looking for strategies to combat high expectations and self-criticism

About the Author

Pema Chödrön is a renowned spiritual teacher in the Western world. She is also the author of several best-selling books including The Wisdom of No Escape, Start Where You Are and The Places That Scare You.

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