Becoming Attached Book Summary - Becoming Attached Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro

Becoming Attached summary

Robert Karen

First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love

3.8 (77 ratings)
17 mins
Table of Contents

    Becoming Attached
    Summary of 8 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 8

    The strong bond between children and their parents or other caregivers is called attachment.

    How much can you remember about your early childhood? Probably not much. But you’ll definitely remember the person who cared for you: your primary caregiver. In most cases, children’s primary caregiver is their mother. The special connection between children and their main caregiver is called attachment.

    Attachment is a very complex process that children begin in their first year of life. It’s a basic biological need for a simple reason: children can’t survive on their own.

    Attachment develops in different phases. In the first weeks of their lives, newborns don’t have any preference for their mothers. But, after a few weeks, they can differentiate between faces and recognize their mother or other primary caregiver. As they continue to grow, they show signs of distress if their caregiver isn’t nearby. This is the start of attachment.

    Researchers have studied monkeys to gain some understanding of attachment. In one study, they separated baby monkeys from their mothers right after birth and raised them in a cage that had two fake “mothers” made out of wire. One of the “mothers” had a soft cloth wrapped around it, and the other had a feeding nipple. They wanted to see which of the mothers the baby monkeys would prefer.

    In the end, the baby monkeys spent most of their time cuddling with the cloth mother, and went to the other one only for food. Their needs for warmth, love and attachment were more important to them than eating.

    Although attachment is something that we’ve all experienced, the study of it is rather controversial. There are many disputed theories, and people within the field often try to push parents into a certain parenting style. In the following blinks, we’ll learn more about these different theories.

    Want to see all full key ideas from Becoming Attached?

    Key ideas in Becoming Attached

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is Becoming Attached about?

    This book is about the importance of children’s first relationships, especially with their primary caregiver, typically the mother. It offers insights into the ways that attachment can positively or negatively affect children’s development, and offers a great deal of scientific research on important findings concerning attachment.

    Best quote from Becoming Attached

    The problem we have as parents, is not usually a lack of love [...], but an unwillingness to face who we are.

    —Robert Karen
    example alt text

    Who should read Becoming Attached?

    • Anyone interested in psychology
    • Anyone interested in child care
    • Parents or anyone about to become a parent

    About the Author

    Robert Karen is a clinical psychologist and the author of several successful books on psychology, the most recent of which is The Forgiving Self: The Road from Resentment to Connection. He is also assistant clinical professor at the Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies.

    Categories with Becoming Attached

    Books like Becoming Attached

    People ❤️ Blinkist
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked

    Start growing with Blinkist now
    28 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    Of Blinkist members create a better reading habit*
    *Based on survey data from Blinkist customers
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial