The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) Book Summary - The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro
00:00

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) summary

Philippa Perry

Sound parenting advice based on psychology

4.5 (704 ratings)
19 mins

Brief summary

The book 'The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)' by Philippa Perry is a guide to help parents understand and overcome their own childhood traumas and support their children's development by building healthy relationships based on mutual respect.

Table of Contents

    The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)
    Summary of 6 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 6

    Our reactions as parents are closely tied to our childhood.

    Becoming a parent is overwhelming, and it can make us feel completely inadequate and inexperienced – a bit like we’ve undertaken a high-flying job for which we’re not fully qualified. But that’s not the case. All new parents possess a wealth of personal experience with parenting – not from a mom or dad’s point of view, but from a child’s. We were all children once, and to understand the present we must understand the past.

    In other words, in order to comprehend our child’s behavioral patterns, we need to take a closer look at the biggest influence in their life – ourselves. We are their first and most influential role model, so we have to understand ourselves before we can understand our children.

    And if there’s one thing that negatively affects our parent-child relationships more than any other, it’s our own experiences as children. The associations we formed in this period have a huge impact on our emotional reactions and parenting style.

    A great example of this comes from Oskar, one of the author’s clients. He found that, whenever his 18-month-old son left his food uneaten or dropped it on the floor, he felt anger bubble up inside of him. After doing some probing into his own childhood with the help of the author, Oskar discovered the reason – the same behavior would have earned him a sharp rap on the knuckles and being dismissed from the room by his own parents. Oskar was letting his childhood experiences cloud his parenting.

    Thankfully, there’s a way to deprogram these patterns of negative reaction in ourselves.

    To get there, though, you’ll need to unpack your own childhood and examine the positive and negative events that stick out in your memory. Think about your emotional reactions – how did you feel about the way you were treated then, and how do you feel about it now? Having a deep understanding of these childhood experiences and their emotional consequences is one of the most effective tools for compassionate parenting.

    When raising children, you should also use the appearance of negatively charged emotions in yourself as a warning signal. Parents often react with anger or frustration at specific incidents because the brain is subconsciously protecting us from the feelings of longing, jealousy or humiliation we felt as children.

    By using anger or frustration as signals that we need to investigate our childhood, we can start working toward ditching those negative overreactions and instead empathizing with our child. Ultimately, we can grow into the considerate parents that we want to be.

    Want to see all full key ideas from The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

    Key ideas in The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) about?

    The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) (2019) is exactly what it sounds like: a book on raising children and a trove of practical knowledge that you can’t help thinking your childhood would have benefited from. Spotlighting mental health and emotional development, this book takes an alternative approach to parenting that’s apt for our modern world.

    The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) Review

    The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) (2019) is a valuable resource for anyone interested in improving their parenting skills and nurturing healthy relationships with their children. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • It offers practical guidance on how to communicate effectively with children, helping parents build strong connections and understand their children's feelings.
    • By combining personal anecdotes, psychological research, and therapeutic techniques, the book provides a comprehensive and insightful understanding of parent-child dynamics.
    • With its engaging storytelling and relatable examples, the book makes complex concepts accessible and ensures that it never becomes dull or tedious.

    Who should read The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

    • Parents who want to improve their kid’s childhood
    • Parents-to-be wishing to reduce the learning curve
    • Your inner child

    About the Author

    Philippa Perry is a British psychotherapist and author. Her previous books include Couch Fiction: A Graphic Tale of Psychotherapy (2010) and How to Stay Sane (2012).

    Categories with The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

    Book summaries like The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

    People ❤️ Blinkist 
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked these summaries

    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    31 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    10+ years
    Experience igniting personal growth
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial

    The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) FAQs 

    What is the main message of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

    Learn how to parent effectively and foster healthy relationships with your children.

    How long does it take to read The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

    Several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Discover a valuable perspective on parenting. The book offers practical advice and insights.

    Who is the author of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

    Philippa Perry is the author of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did).

    What to read after The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)?

    If you're wondering what to read next after The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did), here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • How to Raise Successful People by Esther Wojcicki
    • Screamfree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel
    • Parenting Outside the Lines by Meghan Leahy
    • Becoming Attached by Robert Karen
    • Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross
    • Tiny Humans, Big Emotions by Alyssa Gloria Campbell & Lauren Stauble
    • The Power of Showing Up by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
    • No-Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
    • A New Way for Mothers by Louise Webster
    • The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp