For most of us, saying no is difficult. We’ve learned to regard it as a negative word, a thing you only say when you don’t want something. I’ll explain why this isn’t the case. Far from being negative, no is an expression of positivity – a way of saying yes to the things you’re not saying no to.

Getting Started

3 min

A positive way of looking at no

2 min

Chapter 1 of The Power of a Positive No

3 min

Each no is fueled by a yes

1 min

Chapter 5 of The Power of a Positive No

3 min

Recap of Chapter 1

Recap

Maybe this sounds familiar: You want to support your coworkers, so every time someone asks you for help, you say yes. But giving support in this way prevents you from attending to your work, forcing others to support you. If you don’t care for yourself, you can’t care for others – and setting boundaries is a crucial form of self-care.

Setting boundaries at work

2 min

Chapter 7 of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

3 min

Boundaries are an act of self-care

2 min

Recap of Chapter 2

Recap

Saying no, setting boundaries – it’s important but it’s not easy. People don’t like to hear the word “no.” So how should you approach challenging conversations? Nonviolent communication (NVC) is an invaluable tool for communicating your needs without causing harm. Try using the reflection sheet and vocabulary list below next time you have to have a tough talk.

Talk it out, even if it’s hard

1 min

Chapter 1 of Difficult Conversations

2 min

Three simple questions for facing difficult conversations

1 min

Chapters 1 & 2 of What We Say Matters

5 min

Outro

2 min

Intro to exercise

1 min

NVC reflection sheet

Reflection

Emotion vocabulary list

Resource

Recap of Chapter 3

Recap

During conflicts, it’s easy to get locked inside your own version of events, inside a story that you’re convinced is the truth. And, of course, the same goes for the person you’re in conflict with. One way to break the deadlock is to find a neutral Third Story.

How to maintain objectivity during tough talks

1 min

Chapter 6 of Difficult Conversations

3 min

Get support if you’re struggling

2 min

Recap of Chapter 4

Recap

Everything you’ve learned in this Guide is a skill: saying no, setting boundaries, engaging in nonviolent communication. And any skill can be mastered. Want to learn more and keep practicing? Check out the full Blinks below!

Next steps? Check out the full Blinks!

1 min

List of Full Blinks

Resource

Guide Recap

Recap

Make it stick: Guide Quiz

Quiz