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Zusammenfassung von Talking Across the Divide

Name: Talking Across the Divide
Rating: 4.2 (107 reviews)
Author: Justin Lee

Justin Lee

How to Communicate with People You Disagree with and Maybe Even Change the World

4.2 (107 Bewertungen)

21 Min.

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Talking Across the Divide
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What’s in it for me? Learn some valuable tools on how to discuss divisive topics and change minds.

These days, it’s hard not to feel like people are getting more and more extreme in their attitudes, and less and less tolerant to opposing views.

Our moderate temperaments have all but vanished, and we are no longer willing to compromise for the greater good. Naturally, this puts a strain on relationships. But it also makes it difficult for organizations – the US government included – to function properly.

But there is a valuable tool for those of us who refuse to give up on progress, facts and objective truths. It’s called strategic dialogue, and it’s something that author Justin Lee has been fine tuning for the past twenty years.

Lee has used strategic dialogue to bring together the Christian and LGBT community, and help many conservative parents to become more accepting toward their LGBT kids. If strategic dialogue can help bridge these divides, it can likely also help you to mend the strained relationships in your life.

In these blinks you’ll find out

why attitudes have gotten more extreme recently;
why arguing gets us nowhere; and
which five barriers get in the way of seeing eye-to-eye.

These days many of us live in an echo chamber, which leads to group polarization.

To say that we live in polarizing times would be putting it mildly. Everyday it seems like there’s a new divisive issue for people to either passionately defend or denounce. The political climate in many parts of the world has become fraught with tension and extremism.

Given the circumstances, there’s a good chance that you have friends or family that reside on the other side of the fence – probably on several issues. Naturally, this can make family gatherings, or even a casual email exchange, fraught with potential landmines. It begs the question, how did we get here?

The key message here is: These days many of us live in an echo chamber, which leads to group polarization.

It’s natural for us to gravitate toward those who share a similar worldview. But in the age of the internet, this natural tendency has become problematic. In the virtual world, it’s all too easy to unfollow or block anyone who has a different opinion than you. As a result, you can quickly end up in your own online echo chamber, surrounded by people who are all spouting the same opinions.

Further compounding this problem are the algorithms that are crunching data at places like Google and Facebook. You may not realize it, but the results of your Google searches are automatically tailored to your location and browsing history. Likewise, what you see in your Facebook timeline is the result of algorithms that take into account your history of clicks and likes.

In other words, Google and Facebook give you content that’s similar to what you or others in your area have already shown an interest in – thereby limiting your exposure to new or different ideas. Two people in different locations could do a Google search for “climate change proof,” and one could get links to legitimate scientific data, while the other gets steered toward sites sponsored by oil companies that aim to minimize that data.

These online echo chambers can also explain our decline towards extremism. Research has consistently shown that when a group of people with like-minded opinions get together, those opinions tend to become more extreme. This effect is known as group polarization. And with people now congregating en masse in online echo chambers, it’s hardly surprising that over the past twenty years, people have become increasingly entrenched in more and more extreme positions.

Bridge gaps and mend fences by using strategic dialogue.

Despite the recent rise in extremist views, there are some signs of hope out there.

In 1951, Polish-American psychologist Solomon Asch conducted an influential study. This study showed how a single person was likely to agree with a unified group, even if what was being agreed upon was obviously wrong – such as two lines on a chalkboard being the same length when they clearly weren’t. However, Asch’s study also showed that if just one other person from that group disagreed, this would significantly reduce the chances of the original subject succumbing to peer pressure.

The first steps to successful strategic dialogue are preparation and listening.

Everyone is moved by a passionate speech. Or are they?

If you want to convince someone to join your cause, you may be inclined to have them sit down and listen to a speech. But unfortunately, things aren’t that simple. For the most part, speeches are given to crowds of people who’ve already been converted to the cause, and the outcome is that they just become even more devout followers.

There are five barriers that can stand in the way of a successful dialogue, and the first is ego protection.

So you’ve listened. You’ve prepared. You understand, as best you can, why someone feels so passionately about an issue. Maybe they’ve been raised by their parents to see things a certain way. Or maybe they’re just misinformed! Whatever the case may be, it’s now time to start the dialogue and give your side of the story.

But beware. There are certain things that are guaranteed to foil your plan. These are known as the five barriers to changing someone's mind. The first has to do with the ego.

Two more barriers to successful dialogue are team loyalty and comfort.

When someone fervently believes in an irrational idea, they’re often not alone. Chances are, there’s a whole group of people out there believing the same thing, supporting one another, and keeping the bad idea alive.

This is often a problem, because whenever a person becomes faithful to a group, it can be difficult to get that person to go against the group’s doctrine. It will be up to you to break through this team loyalty, without scaring them away.

The fourth barrier to successful dialogue – misinformation – can be a difficult one to overcome.

Did you know that Pepsi was considered an un-Christian brand? Oddly enough, this bit of misinformation stems from an incident that didn’t even involve Pepsi. Rather, it started when Dr. Pepper released cans of soda, in the wake of 9/11, that carried the message “One Nation… Indivisible.”

Some religious folks believed that the cans were deliberately skipping the words “Under God” and vowed never to buy a Dr. Pepper again. But somewhere along the way, there was the mistaken belief that Dr. Pepper was owned by Pepsi, which it never was. So the ban on Dr. Pepper extended to Pepsi for no good reason.

The fifth barrier to successful dialogue is worldview protection, which may require multiple steps to overcome.

Imagine being told that a belief you’ve held your entire life is wrong. Now, imagine what that means for everything you’ve built on top of that belief. Starts to sound pretty scary, doesn’t it?

The problem with changing long-held beliefs is that they’re likely connected to other beliefs. In fact, they’re so crucial to a person that they inform their entire worldview.

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Worum geht es in Talking Across the Divide?

Talking Across the Divide (2018) offers a useful guide on how to engage in constructive dialogues with people who hold opposing ideas or beliefs. By using these tools, you can avoid unhelpful arguments and conduct meaningful conversations that allow both sides to become better informed – and perhaps even come to a common understanding.

Bestes Zitat aus Talking Across the Divide

A single outside voice can be incredibly powerful in countering the effects of an echo chamber.

—Justin Lee

Wer Talking Across the Divide lesen sollte

Anyone hoping to restore relationships broken over differing opinions
Liberal-minded people with conservative friends and family, or vice versa
People who would like to argue less

Über den Autor

Justin Lee has over 20 years experience in LGBT Christian advocacy, which has provided him with unique insight in how to bridge gaps between political and theological divides. He is also the executive director of Nuance Ministries, and the author of Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays- vs. -Christians Debate (2012).

Kategorien mit Talking Across the Divide

Kommunikation & Soft Skills Religion & Glaube

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