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Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People summary

Renée Evenson

Over 325 Ready-to-use Words and Phrases for Working with Challenging Personalities

4.2 (549 ratings)
18 mins

Brief summary

"Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People" by Renée Evenson is a guidebook for effectively managing challenging interactions in both personal and professional settings. It provides readers with a range of actionable phrases to use in difficult situations, fostering healthier communication and relationships.

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    Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People
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    Some basic rules

    Tense relationships at work typically don’t just solve themselves.

    Chances are, if you’re wondering whether Phil three cubicles down has been giving you the cold shoulder, he probably has. And if you have some hard feelings toward Linda in quality control, she’s probably aware of it on some level. These things don’t usually go undetected.

    The good news is, there are a few simple rules you can follow to smooth the way for a productive conversation – even if you’re not great with conflict. 

    Rule one? Never say never. That is, don’t start conversations with “always” or “never.” Take a second to think about the last time you messed up. Maybe someone came to you with an always or never statement like, “You never put your coffee mug in the dishwasher.”

    Did that statement make you feel like putting your coffee mug in the dishwasher? Or did it instead make you feel like defending yourself ? After all, you do put your coffee mug in the dishwasher most of the time!

    A better alternative would be something like, “Hey, I ended up doing dishes today, and it cut into my lunch hour. Would you mind putting your mug in the dishwasher next time?” 

    And this leads us to the second rule: don’t start conversations with “you.” In the coffee mug example, saying “You never put your coffee mug in the dishwasher” sounds like an accusation – so it puts you on the defensive. On the other hand, offering an “I” statement gives you a chance to see how your actions affected someone else.

    In the next section, we’ll explore some common phrases you can incorporate into your conflict conversations.

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    What is Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People about?

    Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People (2013) provides practical tactics for navigating tough conversations at work. Along with over 325 phrases, it includes dozens of sample conversations that show the phrases in action.

    Who should read Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People?

    • Anyone dealing with difficult coworkers or bosses
    • Employees looking for practical guidance on how to talk to colleagues
    • People interested in conflict management

    About the Author

    Renée Evenson has a degree in organizational psychology and a passion for communication and conflict management. She has worked in customer service management for over three decades and has written numerous books on communication in customer service, including Customer Service Training 101 and Customer Service Management Training 101

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