Name: Magic Words
Rating: 4.3 (111 reviews)
Author: Tim David

What’s in it for me? Learn the seven little words that will make you extraordinarily persuasive.

Imagine this scenario: your teenage daughter, after a night out with friends, comes home late. She has important homework to do – but she doesn’t want to do it. Instead, she would rather sit and watch TV.

What do you do?

Probably, you get really upset, and your daughter probably ends up locking herself in her room. But what has this accomplished? The homework is still unfinished and now you’re all worked up.

There’s a way to avoid such dissatisfying situations. By incorporating some simple “magic words” into our arguments, we can persuade and motivate others to see things our way – and these words are exactly what the following blinks are all about.

You’ll also learn

what makes names so powerful;
what a But Eraser is; and
why people called Peter prefer Pepsi to Coke.

Magic words connect you with others by motivating them.

What’s a magic word? Maybe words like “Abracadabra” or “Alakazam” come to mind – but, outside the realms of fiction and illusion, “magic word” means something entirely different.

Magic words motivate others, and thus make you a more effective communicator. And, of course, communication is key no matter what you want out of life, whether your dream is starting a business or devoting yourself to raising your children.

Yes, you can try to force people to do what you want, but that rarely works. After all, people don’t like to be bossed around. That’s why it’s important to motivate their actions – and that’s where magic words come in.

Furthermore, magic words help you express yourself more clearly. There’s a lot to consider when you’re trying to influence other people. In fact, Albert Mehrabian, a noted psychologist, wrote in 1967 that words only constitute about seven percent of what we communicate – the rest is body language and tone of voice.

Luckily, magic words are here to help. They’ll improve your communication, making your speech clearer even if your body language and tone aren’t perfect.

A word of warning, however: magic words only work when they go hand in hand with a strong, positive human connection. We increasingly communicate with each other in cold and unfriendly ways. So you have to start caring more about other people if you hope to get them to cooperate with you and help you work toward your goals.

So what are the magic words? Read on to find out.

The most important magic word is “yes” and the word you should avoid the most is “no.”

How many times do you use or hear the word “yes” in your day-to-day life? Probably, you could handle a few more yeses in your life.

Why? Well, all humans fear rejection. We’ve evolved to be that way: being connected with others by being part of a group helps us survive. So the word “yes” is ingrained in our psyche; we love hearing it. It’s the ultimate magic word.

Grab attention by using names and direct attention by saying “but.”

Imagine you’re in a noisy, crowded bar. You can barely hear the person right next to you, but someone across the room says your name and, just like that, they have your attention. Why does this happen?

We’re biologically programed to pay attention to the sound of our name. That’s why names are such great magic words.

“Because” and “if” motivate people to act and think.

People naturally want to understand the reasons behind the things they see and do. If you can give them a reason, they’ll be more motivated to act.

That’s why “because” is the next magic word. A Harvard professor once did a study on the power of “because” by using the line for the photocopy machine in her office. First, she tried to cut the line without giving any explanation for her rudeness. She was successful 60 percent of the time.

“Help” is useful when delegating responsibility and “thanks” keeps motivation levels high.

How do you feel when someone asks you for help? It makes you feel important and needed, doesn’t it? That’s what makes “help” such a powerful magic word.

However, if you need help or someone offers you help, you have to work with that person in a specific way. Say you ask for help with writing some code, for example, and the person who volunteers is a beginner. Should you let them give it a go?

Key ideas in Magic Words