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by Robin Sharma
Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance
"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook" by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood & Jeffrey Brantley is a self-help book that provides practical exercises and tools to manage emotions, behavior patterns & relationships using dialectical behavior therapy techniques.
It’s a fact of life: bad things happen. But while you can’t always change your circumstances, you can change how you respond to them.
When bad things happen, people with good emotion management skills know how to cope. They can breathe through the pain, or sit with their feelings. They can heal and repair.
On the other hand, there are also those of us who struggle to manage the overwhelm of an emotional onslaught. We might turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms: rage, drugs, self-harm. But not only does this hurt us – it also negatively impacts our relationships.
Take the case of Bryan and his wife, Kelly. Bryan had a habit of losing control during arguments with Kelly. He would say hateful things to her, and then drink away his feelings of anger and guilt at a bar. Needless to say, the relationship was suffering because of his behavior.
But Bryan decided to put in the work, and learned some basic skills that helped him get through the arguments without causing harm – two of which are distraction and self-soothing.
Distraction is a way to create space between you and the thing causing your distress without avoiding it altogether, which can result in more resentment and built-up tension. Once you’ve calmed down through your distraction, you can then go back and resolve whatever’s occurring.
Let’s say Bryan is starting to get into an argument with Kelly. But instead of saying hurtful things, he says, “I’m going to go wash some dishes.” This is a productive distraction. It gets a chore done, and gives Bryan some time and space to calm down before talking to Kelly again.
Other distractions include holding an ice cube, going for a run or doing some yoga, practicing a hobby, writing in your journal, and – last but not least – going somewhere private and having a good old cry.
Self-soothing is another important distress management skill. This technique helps you comfort yourself so you can relax. Self-soothing is a sensual thing, meant to ground you with a comforting visual, smell, or feeling. For instance, you could light your favorite scented candle, look through a family photo book, listen to music, suck on a lollipop, or take a warm bath.
These distress tolerance skills won’t make your stressful circumstances go away. But they will help you manage your emotions through this difficult time so that you don’t hurt yourself, or your relationships, in the heat of the moment.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook (2019) offers basic and advanced exercises to help people hone the four core emotional competencies. While it can be used alone, it’s also an excellent companion for anyone working with a therapist.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook (2019) is a comprehensive guide to managing emotions, improving relationships, and finding inner peace. Here's why this book is worth reading:
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Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trialBlink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
What is the main message of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook?
The main message of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook is learning skills to manage emotions and create a more fulfilling life.
How long does it take to read The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook?
The reading time for The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook varies depending on the reader's speed. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook a good book? Is it worth reading?
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook is worth reading as it offers effective tools to improve emotional well-being and cope with challenges.
Who is the author of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook?
The authors of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook are Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley.