Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Book Summary - Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone summary

Lori Gottlieb

A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

4.5 (240 ratings)
23 mins

Brief summary

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb is a memoir highlighting the transformative power of therapy through the author's personal journey and experiences working as a therapist. The book guides readers to better understand themselves and others while offering insight into the therapeutic process.

Table of Contents

    Maybe You Should Talk To Someone
    Summary of 8 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 8

    When patients enter therapy, their problems are usually deeper than they first appear.

    “So, tell me what brings you here today?”

    That’s the question the author usually uses to begin her first therapy session with a patient. The answer the patient gives is called his presenting problem – the problem that brings him to the therapist’s office in search of a solution. It could be something specific, such as experiencing the loss of a loved one or suffering from panic attacks. Or it could be something vague, like a general sense of being “stuck.”

    Unfortunately, a patient’s presenting problem usually isn’t his real, underlying problem – and the solution he seeks isn’t the real solution either. For example, a television scriptwriter named John came to the author with a seemingly straightforward set of presenting problems: he suffered from insomnia, fought with his wife and was feeling stressed out by work, where he thought all of his coworkers were “idiots.” To him, the solutions seemed similarly straightforward; he just wanted to be able to get a good night’s sleep and to vent to the author about his wife and colleagues.

    But it turned out his real problems, along with their solutions, went much deeper. They involved some very tragic incidents from his past. When he was only six years old, his mother was run over by a car and died. Then, when he was an adult, he got into a car accident that killed his son; in a tragic coincidence, the boy was also only six years old at the time.

    The combination of these two events led John to develop a host of personal and emotional problems, like unacknowledged grief and an inability to be vulnerable with people. Even in his therapy sessions with the author, he kept the tragedy of his son’s death a secret for nearly half a year, and he was unable to fully engage with the author. Instead, he deflected her questions with inappropriate jokes, insults, interruptions and other forms of rude behavior, including sending texts in the middle of therapy.

    Acknowledging his grief and learning to become more vulnerable with people turned out to be the real solutions to his underlying problems. But it took him a lot of work to get to the point where he could even recognize these problems, let alone do anything about them. That’s true of most patients – even when they themselves are therapists. We’ll start looking at the reasons for this in the next blink.

    Want to see all full key ideas from Maybe You Should Talk To Someone?

    Key ideas in Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is Maybe You Should Talk To Someone about?

    Maybe You Should Talk to Someone (2019) is a unique memoir in which the author, a psychotherapist, tells the story of how she herself ended up on a therapist’s couch after descending into a personal crisis of her own. By reflecting on her experiences as both a therapist and a patient, and by relating them to the stories of four of her patients, she came to a better understanding of both her profession and herself.

    Who should read Maybe You Should Talk To Someone?

    • Curious minds interested in how therapy works in practice   
    • People suffering from personal, emotional or psychological problems  
    • Those who are feeling lost and looking for some direction

    About the Author

    Lori Gottlieb is an American psychotherapist and writer who lives in Los Angeles. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (2010) and the Los Angeles Times and Washington Post bestseller Stick Figure: a Diary of My Former Self (2000). She is a contributing editor for The Atlantic magazine, where she also writes a weekly advice column called “Dear Therapist.” Her writing has appeared in many other high-profile publications as well, including the New York Times Magazine, Slate and O, The Oprah Magazine.

    Categories with Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

    Book summaries like Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

    People ❤️ Blinkist 
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked these summaries

    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    29 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    10+ years
    Experience igniting personal growth
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial