13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do Book Summary - 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro
00:00

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do summary

Raising Self-Assured Children and Training Their Brains for a Life of Happiness, Meaning, and Success

4.6 (849 ratings)
23 mins

Brief summary

"13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do" by Amy Morin is a guide for parents to help them avoid common mistakes that can harm their children's mental strength. It offers practical tips to help parents raise resilient and mentally strong kids.

Table of Contents

    13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do
    Summary of 8 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 8

    Mentally strong parents promote responsibility and perseverance over a victim mentality.

    Everywhere you look, there’s advice about helping your child stay physically fit. But what about other important kinds of fitness, like mental or emotional well-being? There’s little in life that benefits a person as much as learning to be mentally strong. A mentally strong child is more likely to turn setbacks into opportunities and face hardship without feeling sorry for himself.

    So what’s the best way to raise a mentally strong child? By practicing good, healthy habits yourself – which makes you capable of passing them on to your child.

    For example, it’s natural to want to defend your child when they’ve been wronged. The age of social media has led many parents to encourage feelings of victimhood in response to every slight. Mentally strong parents refuse to do this. You want your child to be empowered to handle life’s challenges rather than always seeing himself as the victim of circumstance.

    Take the example of Cody, a 14-year-old who was prescribed ADHD medication. His teachers reported that he was calmer and more attentive as a result, but his grades didn’t improve. His parents’ response? To demand that he be assigned less work than his peers.

    Cody’s workload wasn’t the problem, however. He had developed what researchers call learned helplessness – he believed that his ADHD made him fundamentally incapable, and his parents had reinforced this idea. Once they started treating him like he was equipped to handle his responsibilities, he began to put in effort, and his grades soon turned around.

    Mentally strong parents don’t let their children avoid responsibility, either. Instead of letting your child blame others for his problems, hold him accountable and let him face the consequences of his actions. If you don’t, how is he supposed to learn to cope with the inevitable injustices he’ll face in life?

    You can also help your child at home. Assign him household responsibilities, for one – research shows that kids who have to do chores from an early age become more successful, empathetic, and self-reliant adults. Let him handle problems by himself, too. According to sociologist Steven Horwitz, children need to practice resolving conflict on their own during unstructured playtime. If they always rely on adults to intervene, they’re more likely to blame others.

    Finally, teach your child to choose true thoughts over BLUE ones. BLUE thoughts are ones in which you Blame everyone else, Look for the bad news, fall prey to Unhappy guessing (that is, assuming the worst), and are Exaggeratedly negative. True thoughts, on the other hand, involve accepting responsibility, pointing out the good, taking action, and looking for exceptions.

    Want to see all full key ideas from 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do?

    Key ideas in 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do about?

    13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do (2017) teaches parents how not to hold kids back from reaching their true behavioral, emotional, and academic potential. Many of today’s parenting practices don’t prepare children for adulthood – but these blinks demonstrate how to raise children to have the mental strength necessary to handle our increasingly complicated world.

    13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do Review

    13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do (2017) is an insightful guide that helps parents cultivate mental strength in themselves and their children. Here are three reasons why this book is worth reading:

    • It provides practical strategies for parents to foster resilience and emotional well-being in their children, equipping them for life's challenges.
    • The book offers real-life examples and relatable stories that illustrate the principles, making it a valuable resource for parents seeking guidance in their parenting journey.
    • With its actionable advice, the book empowers parents to develop healthy habits and create a positive family environment, ensuring their children's mental and emotional growth.

    Best quote from 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

    You have to let your child experience some pain in life if you want him to become a truly happy person.

    —Amy Morin
    example alt text

    Who should read 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do?

    • New parents who want to empower their kids from the get-go
    • Parents in need of some midcourse parenting advice and solutions
    • People who want to learn how parenting practices affect child psychology

    About the Author

    Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, college psychology instructor, and foster mother. She is the bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do and is a regular contributor to Forbes, Psychology Today, and Verywell.

    Categories with 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

    Book summaries like 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

    People ❤️ Blinkist 
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked these summaries

    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    32 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    10+ years
    Experience igniting personal growth
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial

    13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do FAQs 

    What is the main message of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do?

    The main message of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do is how to raise mentally strong children by avoiding certain behaviors.

    How long does it take to read 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do?

    The reading time for 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do varies, but the Blinkist summary can be read in just a few minutes.

    Is 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do a good book? Is it worth reading?

    13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do is worth reading as it provides practical guidance for parents on how to raise resilient and mentally strong children.

    Who is the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do?

    Amy Morin is the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do.

    What to read after 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do?

    If you're wondering what to read next after 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
    • The Courage Habit by Kate Swoboda
    • Never Get a “Real” Job by Scott Gerber
    • 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do by Amy Morin
    • Raising Mentally Strong Kids by Amen MD Daniel G. & Charles Fay
    • Unlocking Parental Intelligence by Laurie Hollman
    • Transcend by Scott Barry Kaufman
    • 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do by Amy Morin
    • You, Happier by Daniel G. Amen
    • The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins