The Happy Kid Handbook Book Summary - The Happy Kid Handbook Book explained in key points

Listen to the Intro

00:00

The Happy Kid Handbook summary

Name: The Happy Kid Handbook
Rating: 4.2 (111 reviews)
Author: Katie Hurley

Katie Hurley

How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World

4.2 (111 ratings)

15 mins

Topics

Inspiration Happiness

Table of Contents

The Happy Kid Handbook
Summary of 7 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Become an attuned parent.

The world is full of advice on how to raise children: Just watch Supernanny, read about rigorous “Tiger Moms” or ask any harassed parents on the receiving end of unsolicited advice. The problem is that everyone tells you something different. And while you’re trying to figure out who’s right, you forget about consulting the world’s greatest expert on your child’s needs: your child.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should give in to your child’s every wish. But as you’ll learn from these blinks, the first step toward raising your child to be happy and confident is to listen to her and encourage her to explore and express her emotions. If you tune in to your little one, she will teach you how she needs to be raised.

These blinks will also delve into the benefits of play and explain how you can help your child to cope with today’s immensely stressful world.

And you’ll discover

why it’s better for your children if you don’t try to be fair all the time;
how to help an exuberant child to relax; and
about a scary Easter bunny.

Cookie-cutter approaches won’t help you raise your unique child.

Say you’ve got two adorable kids – one girl and one boy. You love them both to bits and take great care to share your love fairly. You’re diligent about dividing your attention equally between them and never cuddle one child without cuddling the other. So why is it that your son is so distant when you talk to him, and why does he squirm out of your hugs so often?

It could be because you aren’t meeting his needs in the right way. The reality is that different kids have different needs. It’s your responsibility as a parent to raise your children in accordance with their personalities.

It’s possible, for instance, that your son doesn’t need lots of interaction and physical affection to be happy. Your daughter, on the other hand, craves stimulation and wants to engage with you all day long. By spending lots of time chatting to your daughter and less with your son, you aren’t being unfair. Quite the opposite – you’re ensuring each of your unique kids is equally happy.

In keeping with this, you’ll need to respect your child’s wishes and needs, even if it means they don’t match yours.

A very sociable parent who puts lots of time and effort into throwing a huge birthday party for their kid might be disappointed to see their child hiding in their bedroom, overwhelmed by all the noisy kids crowding the living room. But even if your child’s needs surprise you, you must respect them. After all, it’s not your child’s job to fulfill your expectations. So do your best to embrace every aspect of their character.

In short, there’s no place for a one-size-fits-all approach in child-raising. Children are unique, and it’s vital that you respect their needs. And how do you do this? By learning about them!

Introverted kids need gentle encouragement and a safe space to share their feelings.

When it comes to temperament, nothing’s black or white – we’ve all got a mixture of both extroverted and introverted traits. Still, some children lean strongly toward introversion. Perhaps they love to disappear into their daydreams or tend to retreat to their bedrooms to reenergize alone. Raising introverted children comes with challenges, but keeping two strategies in mind will help.

First, it’s vital that you help your child feel comfortable sharing their feelings. Introverts naturally process their feelings internally, which in itself is fine. But it can cause problems as they fail to ask for help when they really need it. They may also keep quiet about something they’re unhappy about, bottling it up until they can’t cope anymore. This inevitably leads to an emotional outburst which is as confusing for you as it is for them.

Extroverted children need to talk problems through and learn to unwind.

If you’ve got a child who’s largely extroverted, watch out! These kids are boisterous, impulsive and born to be wild. Little extroverts can be a handful, especially if you’re more of a quiet type yourself. Learn to help your extroverted kid balance the interaction and movement with letting off steam and learning to relax.

Talking and sharing (a lot!) is vital for an extroverted child. They process their emotions externally, and will typically cope with challenging feelings by sharing them with you. Talking things out is essential for them in other ways too. You might find that your extroverted child is able to solve homework problems best when talking them through out loud with you, rather than mulling them over alone in their room.

Play boosts your child’s social and emotional skills.

Remember how fun it was to play as a kid? Most parents don’t. That’s why they tend to see play as a waste of time that distracts kids from homework and other important tasks. But nothing could be further from the truth. Play is central to a healthy childhood.

Through fun and games, children learn to relate to each other, share and cooperate. When adults meet for the first time, they go through the motions of introducing themselves, shaking hands and sharing what they do for a living. When kids meet each other, they make contact by joining one another’s games.

Help kids understand that negative emotions are a natural part of life.

All loving parents just want their kids to be happy. But kids needn’t be happy all the time. For one thing, this is nearly impossible! And on top of this, negative emotions are a necessary experience that helps children grow into adults.

Despite this, many parents attempt to reject their children’s unhappiness. They categorize emotions into “good” and “bad,” signalling to many kids that feeling fear, anger, jealousy and sadness is wrong. Parents often feel bewildered and irritated by a child’s strong negative reactions. For instance, in the mall one Easter, the author witnessed several toddlers sobbing in fright after seeing someone in a bunny costume. Visibly annoyed, the parents didn’t comfort them and instead told their kids to stop making such a fuss.

Children need strong role models to develop their empathy skills.

Humans are, in some ways, instinctively empathetic. That’s why babies tend to cry if they hear another baby crying nearby! But even though humans demonstrate the ability to empathize from a very young age, they still have a lot of emotional development to do throughout their lives. The ability to empathize with someone’s situation and perspective is more a skill than an instinct, and parents are there to help children learn it.

Begin by giving kids an empathetic role model. If you show a lack of empathy toward your kid, you can hardly expect them to become empathetic individuals of their own accord. Show your kids empathy and it won’t take them long to realize that they can do the same. Respect their feelings, listen to them without interrupting and show children that you understand and care.

Protect your child’s health by helping them cope with stress.

These days, we’re all stressed out. Unfortunately, this includes our kids. Between competitive classrooms and jam-packed schedules, it’s no wonder children constantly feel the need to perform. Help your kids recharge and recover by learning about how they deal with stress.

First, we need to remember that some things can be stressful for our kids without us realizing. For example, you might be used to watching the news, but your kid isn’t. Watching footage of natural disasters, famines and wars can be downright terrifying for your kid. Don’t let your kid watch the news with you and you’ll cut the extra stress out of her life.

Want to see all full key ideas from The Happy Kid Handbook?

Key ideas in The Happy Kid Handbook

More knowledge in less time

Read or listen

Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.

Find your next read

Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.

Shortcasts ^New

We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

What is The Happy Kid Handbook about?

The Happy Kid Handbook (2015) explains the key components of a happy childhood that allows children to thrive as unique individuals. Whether your child is introverted or extroverted, these blinks will guide you through helping them understand stress, negative emotions, social relationships and the importance of finding calm in their lives.

Best quote from The Happy Kid Handbook

No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care. – Theodore Roosevelt

—Katie Hurley

Who should read The Happy Kid Handbook?

Parents-to-be who are anxious about raising their child right
Mothers and fathers struggling to understand their kid’s confusing behavior
Readers interested in the importance of parenting today

About the Author

Katie Hurley is the blogger behind Practical Parenting and the author of articles at PBS Parents and The Huffington Post. She lives in Los Angeles, where she splits her time between being a child and adolescent psychologist and counselor, a parenting expert and a mother to two children.

Categories with The Happy Kid Handbook

Parenting

Books like The Happy Kid Handbook

Raising a Secure Child

Kent Hoffman

How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore

15 min

4.4

Unlocking Parental Intelligence

Laurie Hollman

Finding Meaning in Your Child's Behavior

23 min

4.4

Simplicity Parenting

Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross

Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

13 min

4.3

The Power of Showing Up

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

16 min

4.4

Minimalist Parenting

Christine Koh and Asha Dornfest

Enjoy Modern Family Life More by Doing Less

The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine

The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool

9 min

3.8

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

Amy Morin

Raising Self-Assured Children and Training Their Brains for a Life of Happiness, Meaning, and Success

Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

17 min

3.8

How to Talk to Anyone

Leil Lowndes

92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain

24 min

4.5

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

Philippa Perry

Sound parenting advice based on psychology

19 min

4.5

No-Drama Discipline

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

17 min

4.5

The Whole-Brain Child

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind

15 min

4.5

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen R. Covey

Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love

17 min

3.8

The Call of the Wild and Free

Ainsley Arment

Reclaiming Wonder in Your Child's Education

The Bulletproof Plan to Age Backward and Maybe Even Live Forever

Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character

How to Think and Act Like the Most Successful and Highest-Paid People in Every Field

28 min

4.2

The Porn Trap

Wendy Maltz & Larry Maltz

The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography

20 min

4.2

How to Raise Successful People

Esther Wojcicki

Simple Lessons for Radical Results

Create a Life You Really Love with Less Stress and More Flow

16 min

4.3

The ADHD Effect on Marriage

Melissa Orlov

Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8 A.M.)

What the Rich Teach Their Kids about Money – That the Poor and the Middle Class Do Not!

29 min

4.6

What’s Going on in There?

Lise Eliot

How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life

The Secret to Love That Lasts

How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed

A Manual for Surviving Worst-Case Scenarios

14 min

4.4

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

Dr. Daniel G. Amen

The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Anger, and Impulsiveness

Burn Fat, Heal Inflammation, and Eat Like the High-Performing Human You Were Meant to Be

20 min

4.6

The 12-week Fitness Project

Rujuta Diwekar

Going Beyond Weight Loss for Better Sleep, Energy, and Bloating

16 min

4.2

Baby Steps Millionaires

Dave Ramsey

How Ordinary People Built Extraordinary Wealth-and how You Can Too

15 min

3.8

Accounting Made Simple

Mike Piper

Accounting Explained in 100 Pages or Less

14 min

4.5

Braving the Wilderness

Brené Brown

The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

16 min

4.3

5 Levels of Leadership

John C. Maxwell

Proven Steps to Maximize your Potential

15 min

4.4

How to Day Trade for a Living

Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child

A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships

A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

27 min

3.3

Resilient

Rick Hanson with Forrest Hanson

How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness

The New Science of How Your Body Can Heal Itself

A Critique of Political Economy

What you Thought Was a Diagnosis May Be Your Greatest Strength

9 Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who’ve Lived Longest

The Art of Debating, Persuading, and Public Speaking

16 min

4.3

That Little Voice in Your Head

Mo Gawdat

Adjust the Code That Runs Your Brain

20 min

4.5

The Great Money Reset

Jill Schlesinger

Change Your Work, Change Your Wealth, Change Your Life

17 min

3.9

The Brain that Changes Itself

Norman Doidge

Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science

22 min

4.6

People ❤️ Blinkist

Sven O.

It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

Thi Viet Quynh N.

Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

Jonathan A.

Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

Renee D.

Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.