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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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In Sheep’s Clothing summary
George Simon Jr.
Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
4.2 (62 ratings)
14 mins
6 key ideas
Audio & text
What is In Sheep’s Clothing about?
In Sheep’s Clothing (1996) reveals the aggressive, undercover agenda of manipulative individuals, whose covert tactics would otherwise remain hidden. These blinks offers you tools to become aware of, prepare for and deal with the tricks used by manipulative colleagues, family members and friends.
About the Author
George Simon Jr., PhD is a clinical psychologist from Texas who has spent the last 30 years studying the behavior of manipulative personalities and counselling their victims. He is also the author of Character Disturbance: the Phenomenon of Our Age (2011).
Table of Contents
In Sheep’s Clothing
summarized in 6 key ideas
Audio & text in the Blinkist app
Key idea 1 of 6
Everyone fights, but manipulators fight aggressively, without concern for their opponents.
We’ve all seen it: someone makes a subtle put-down in a social gathering that manages to be hurtful without making the perpetrator look bad. Why would someone even do that?
Some people, manipulators, like to fight others and put them down in order to make themselves look better.
This isn’t to say that manipulators are the only people who engage in bad behavior; indeed, we all fight from time to time.
Assertive fighting for our legitimate needs is often necessary and constructive – as long as we respect others in the process. For example, football players have to compete against each other to win the game, but do so within the rules.
Another example can be found in politics, where ideas and personalities clash, and the best candidates with the best ideas end up being elected – at least that’s the idea.
So how are manipulators any different from the rest of us? The difference is that people with manipulative personalities fight aggressively, pushing their own agenda forward without any regard for other people’s feelings, rights or interests.
The reason why is simple: manipulators have an impaired conscience. Unlike the rest of us, they’re completely unable to see beyond their own self-interest.
Whereas most of us will conform to social rules (such as not intentionally upsetting people), manipulators see this deference to social norms as an act of submission, and will likely view these norms as threats to their self-interest.
For example, manipulative parents who pressure their children to perform at a high level in school or sports, without any concern for their child’s needs and wants or the opinions of teachers and school staff, are more concerned with their own desires than the way their actions will affect their child. They are actively seeking the status that comes with being the parent of a high-performing student.
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Best quote from In Sheep’s Clothing
Fighting is not inherently wrong or harmful.
—George Simon Jr.
Who should read In Sheep’s Clothing
- People who are overly anxious and fearful of social rejection
- People who believe they might be in a relationship with a manipulator
- People who want to learn how to fight back against manipulators
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