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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
Real Help For Desperate Hearts in Difficult Marriages
Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away (2008) is about difficult marriages and how to work things out when you’re most tempted to hit the eject button. Written by a marriage counselor with years of hands-on experience, this patient and thoughtful reflection on rocky marriages is ultimately filled with hope. With enough understanding, empathy and clear communication, Gary Chapman argues, there are few marriages that can’t be saved.
- Couples who’ve hit a rough patch in their marriage
- Unfaithful spouses
- Psychologists and counselors
Gary Chapman is a writer, public speaker and counselor who specializes in helping couples overcome romantic adversities and heal their marriages. His previous work includes the best-selling The Five Love Languages.
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
Real Help For Desperate Hearts in Difficult Marriages
- Lesedauer: 15 Minuten
- Verfügbar in Text & Audio
- 9 Kernaussagen
Worum geht's
Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away (2008) is about difficult marriages and how to work things out when you’re most tempted to hit the eject button. Written by a marriage counselor with years of hands-on experience, this patient and thoughtful reflection on rocky marriages is ultimately filled with hope. With enough understanding, empathy and clear communication, Gary Chapman argues, there are few marriages that can’t be saved.
Kernaussage 1 von 9
Divorce might seem like an “easy” solution, but it isn’t an answer to deep-seated emotional pain.
We live in a throwaway society. When the latest electronic gadget hits the market, we don’t hesitate to hit the buy button and toss out our old devices. That attitude isn’t just restricted to consumer products. When it comes to marriage, we’re just as likely to favor trading in the old for the new. But there’s a problem: divorce isn’t the “easy” solution it sometimes appears to be.
When people tell one another that they’re having a tough time in their marriages, they often want to be told that they should hit the eject button. But marriages aren’t like bad investments; they can’t be ditched as soon as their value drops. Your partner isn’t a stock option but a person with whom you develop a deep bond founded on love, even if only for a certain period of time.
That’s why divorce – the severing of that bond for good – takes such an emotional toll. Then there are the practical difficulties. Take Karin, one of the author’s clients. Her life was much harder after she divorced. She realized that she now had to work a full-time job to support her family, leaving her with less time to spend with her children. She felt sad, anxious and drained.
Another reason that divorce often fails as a solution is that the problems it addresses reoccur in all relationships. That’s something Michael, another client of the author, realized after divorcing his wife. The cause of the split was their constant fighting. A few years later, he met another woman and fell in love. He was convinced he’d be happy in his new relationship.
He was wrong. A few months in, the couple ran into trouble. Michael’s new partner had children from a previous marriage, and he resented how much attention she devoted to them rather than to him. He also struggled to assert his authority in what was now his family. Divorce, it turned out, hadn’t been a silver bullet to his problems.
So if divorce isn’t always the solution, what should you do when your marriage hits the rocks?
Inhalt
- Divorce might seem like an “easy” solution, but it isn’t an answer to deep-seated emotional pain.
- The best way of getting through tough times is to focus on the positive and try to be more loving.
- Be constructive rather than critical if your spouse doesn’t meet your expectations.
- Sometimes you need to give your partner a shock to communicate that there’s a problem.
- Try to understand your spouse’s controlling behavior rather than attempting to argue it out.
- Dealing with a verbally abusive spouse requires a plan and a tough line.
- Being on the receiving end of the silent treatment is infuriating, but it’s often a sign of unmet emotional needs.
- Infidelity doesn’t have to be a deal breaker as long as your partner can forgive you.
- Final summary
