The Book of Boundaries Book Summary - The Book of Boundaries Book explained in key points
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The Book of Boundaries summary

Melissa Urban

Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

4.2 (358 ratings)
17 mins

Brief summary

'The Book of Boundaries' by Melissa Urban is a guide to teach readers how to set boundaries in their personal and professional relationships. It provides practical tools to identify values, determine limits and communicate effectively to create healthy connections.

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    The Book of Boundaries
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    Setting limits is being kind to yourself and your relationships.

    Morning walks are a great way to start the day. They help clear your head and prepare you for work. But what if an elderly neighbor joins you uninvited? It can be tough telling them you prefer to walk alone. When you feel agitated, exhausted, or overloaded like this, it’s a sign that you need to set a boundary. Boundaries are essential for maintaining energy and self-esteem. It’s not just about stating your position; it’s about being kind to yourself. And kindness requires clarity. Repeat after me: “Clear is kind.” So, for the walking scenario, you might say, Hi! This week, I’m going to start walking by myself. I need this time alone to clear my head.

    It’s easy to think of boundaries as something to use in difficult or dangerous situations. But the truth is that boundaries simply limit what we’re willing to accept from others. Setting limits isn’t easy. It can be uncomfortable. But so is constantly being anxious or avoiding certain people or subjects. Just remember, when you set a boundary, you’re also being kind to your relationships. You need to start speaking plainly and being honest about what you want. But how do you know when you should put a barrier in place?

    The answer is when you hear your inner voice. You know, it’s the one which says things like, “Wow, I’m not going to answer that,” or, “Well, not really, but I feel like I have no choice.” Of course, these warnings aren’t always dramatic. Neither does the solution have to be. In the following section, we’ll use Melissa Urban’s “threat-level” system to help you decide when and where to place the proper restrictions to protect yourself.

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    What is The Book of Boundaries about?

    The Book of Boundaries (2022) is a pragmatic and empowering guide to setting healthy relationship limits. It provides over 130 scripts to ensure you always have the right words to set boundaries and create healthier, happier relationships.

    The Book of Boundaries Review

    The Book of Boundaries is a thought-provoking exploration of the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries in our lives. Here are three reasons why this book is worth reading:

    • It offers practical strategies for establishing healthy boundaries in different areas of life, empowering readers to navigate relationships and enhance personal well-being.
    • With its compelling stories and relatable examples, the book illustrates the consequences of both weak and rigid boundaries, emphasizing the need for finding a balance.
    • By addressing the emotional and psychological aspects of boundaries, the book goes beyond mere advice, fostering deeper self-awareness and personal growth.

    Who should read The Book of Boundaries?

    • Anxious parents
    • Time, energy, and space-conscious workers
    • Anyone who can’t say no

    About the Author

    Melissa Urban is the cofounder of Whole30, a 30-day dietary reset that has changed millions of lives worldwide. She’s also a New York Times best-selling author, podcast host, and boundary expert.

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    The Book of Boundaries FAQs 

    What is the main message of The Book of Boundaries?

    The main message of The Book of Boundaries is to set healthy boundaries for a fulfilling and balanced life.

    How long does it take to read The Book of Boundaries?

    The reading time for The Book of Boundaries varies, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is The Book of Boundaries a good book? Is it worth reading?

    The Book of Boundaries is worth reading as it provides valuable insights on establishing boundaries for personal well-being and achieving healthier relationships.

    Who is the author of The Book of Boundaries?

    The author of The Book of Boundaries is Melissa Urban.

    What to read after The Book of Boundaries?

    If you're wondering what to read next after The Book of Boundaries, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
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    • Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
    • Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
    • The Joy of Saying No by Natalie Lue
    • The Power of a Positive No by William Ury
    • How to Stay Sane by Philippa Perry
    • Love Your Life, Not Theirs by Rachel Cruze
    • Welcome Home by Najwa Zebian
    • Read People Like a Book by Patrick King