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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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Good Inside summary
Becky Kennedy
A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
16 mins
Table of Contents
Good Inside
Summary of 7 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 7
Behavior is not the problem.
Before we begin, let’s make one point clear: Your child is good inside. No matter what. When he’s hitting his little sister with a shoe, he’s good inside. When she’s telling you she hates you, she’s good inside.
Agreeing to the “good inside” belief is the foundation for everything that’s coming next. Because once you treat your children, yourself, and everyone, really, with the understanding that they’re inherently good inside, you’ll start to make more generous interpretations of their behavior.
In fact, the first thing you need to do when situations get tough is take a breath and choose the most generous interpretation or MGI of the situation. Holding on to the MGI helps you approach your child with compassion and a desire to understand, rather than jumping to anger and blame.
Next, you need to accept the fundamental truth that two things can be true at the same time. Even if the two things don’t necessarily get along with each other. For instance, your child wants ice cream for breakfast, and you don’t allow them to have ice cream for breakfast. When you allow both things to be true, you won’t feel the need to completely change your child’s feelings.
In this way, the good-inside method isn’t about honoring feelings and giving children whatever they want; it’s about honoring feelings and holding boundaries.
All of this leads to the final piece of the foundation you need for building better relationships with your children: know your job. Know that it’s your job to hold boundaries, but it’s not your job to change your child’s feelings.
Now, let’s learn how to build on these concepts.
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What is Good Inside about?
Good Inside (2022) offers hope to parents who feel helpless when it comes to managing conflict in their homes. More than parenting, it’s about loving yourself and extending that love to your children. Dr. Becky rejects traditional reward and punishment strategies, instead encouraging parents to seek understanding with their children while still maintaining healthy boundaries.
Who should read Good Inside?
- New parents
- Parents who are afraid it’s too late to change how they parent
- People healing from emotional damage
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