Raising Good Humans Book Summary - Raising Good Humans Book explained in key points
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Raising Good Humans summary

Hunter Clarke-Fields

A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids

4.5 (303 ratings)
18 mins

What is Raising Good Humans about?

Raising Good Humans (2019) is a mindful parenting guide that teaches you how to stop yelling and get grounded. It features healthy practices that can help you break generational cycles and be a better parent.

Table of Contents

    Raising Good Humans
    summarized in 8 key ideas

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    Key idea 1 of 8

    You can’t control this.

    There you are, looking your five-year-old dead in the eye. For the third time you say, “Don’t you dare touch that vase.”

    Time slows down. Silence fills the room. Maybe you hear the distant rustle of a tumbleweed rolling by as the standoff intensifies. Your little angel smiles devilishly, stares at you without flinching, and pokes the vase – knocking it to the floor with a crash.

    What are you supposed to do? We’ll start with what you can’t control. Whatever feelings come up – possibly a rush of rage and indescribable frustration – are beyond your control. Your stress response is natural and automatic. It comes from a part of your brain called the amygdala.

    Here’s the bad news: when you’re in a state of high stress and your amygdala is activated, you are not capable of responding in a logical, controlled way. The part of your brain that thinks and considers is called the prefrontal cortex – and it’s completely paralyzed when you’re in a state of fight, flight, or freeze.

    So is that it? You’re just doomed to yell at your kids until they stop pushing all your buttons?

    Of course not. Here’s the good news: the answer to the problem of reactions that are out of your – and your kids’ – control is mindfulness. 

    Yes, we’ve all heard the term. Frankly, it has been used to death in everything from Instagram stories to parenting podcasts. But here’s the deal. Research using MRI scans has shown that after only eight weeks of some kind of consistent mindfulness practice – whether it’s meditation or yoga or something else – the amygdala actually shrinks. Even better, the connections between your prefrontal cortex and the rest of your brain grow stronger.

    So as much as we’re becoming jaded to the concept of mindfulness, it’s truly the best and only practice that can help us break the generational cycles of yelling, punishing, and raging at our kids.

    To get a good grasp of what mindfulness means in the context of this Blink, here’s an exercise you can do. Pick an activity. It can be washing the dishes, going for a walk, taking a bath, or anything else really. 

    Let’s say you choose washing the dishes. To practice mindfulness, you’re going to slow down your mind. Instead of rushing through the dishes to get it done, begin inhaling and exhaling deeply and intentionally. Listen to the sound of the water. Take note of how it feels running over your hands. Give names to any feelings that arise.

    Be mindful of each moment in the process.

    And that’s it. You’ve begun training your brain, teaching it to take control of its perceptions. Keep in mind that this is a practice – meaning it is ongoing and requires consistency. This is also the foundation you’re going to build your new, amazing parenting skills on.

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    About the Author

    Hunter Clarke-Fields is the “Mindful Mama Mentor” on a mission to end negative generational patterns. Combining her 20 years of experience in meditation and yoga with her personal journey as a mom, Clarke-Fields guides parents toward taking control over their reactionary behavior to become skillful in their caregiving role.

    Who should read Raising Good Humans?

    • Parents who want to stop yelling
    • Teachers and parents who need better conflict management strategies
    • Caregivers interested in personal development

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