Who is the author of Stop Checking Your Likes?

Susie Moore is the author of Stop Checking Your Likes.

Motivation & Inspiration

Stop Checking Your Likes Book Summary - Stop Checking Your Likes Book explained in key points

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Stop Checking Your Likes summary

Name: Stop Checking Your Likes
Rating: 4.4 (122 reviews)
Author: Susie Moore

Susie Moore

Shake Off the Need for Approval and Live an Incredible Life

4.4 (122 ratings)

17 mins

Brief summary

Stop Checking Your Likes by Susie Moore teaches us how to free ourselves from the validation of social media. The book offers practical advice for building true confidence and happiness from within, independent of external approval.

Topics

Inspiration Success Confidence Self-Help Decision-Making Networking

Table of Contents

Stop Checking Your Likes
Summary of 5 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 5

What’s in it for me? Learn the art of self-approval.

In today’s digital age, it’s all too common to find ourselves obsessively checking our phones, craving that next notification – a like, a comment, or a share – that signals approval and acceptance from others. This relentless pursuit of validation can become a significant source of anxiety, as our self-worth becomes increasingly tied to algorithmic whims.

But the quest for likes and comments speaks to a larger issue: our growing dependence on others’ approval. That’s the problem at the heart of Stop Checking Your Likes. Turning off notifications or taking a social media break is a good start. But the real goal is to fundamentally transform how you perceive and value yourself. Through a series of actionable steps, this Blink will show you how to cultivate a robust sense of self-worth that is independent of the opinions of others. So, put those notifications on mute, and let’s get started.

Other people’s criticisms only hurt as much as you let them.

Online we often encounter a myriad of advice that reflects more about those who give it than it does about universal truths. For example, advice on diet, like avoiding carbs after 2 PM, or on financial decisions, such as the importance of investing in stocks, really highlights the personal experiences and philosophies of the advisors. This variety of advice teaches us a crucial lesson: our views shape our reality.

This idea of subjectivity is crucial when dealing with criticism too. Often, criticism is just a mirror of the critic’s own biases and life experiences. It doesn't have to affect us deeply unless we let it. Realizing this can drastically reduce anxiety linked to fear of judgment or disapproval.

To truly embrace self-approval, we must be willing to face and accept negative feelings without allowing them to define us. Confident individuals understand that discomfort, embarrassment, or ridicule are merely temporary. They aren’t scared to appear foolish or to be wrong, because at most, it leads to a passing bad feeling. Recognizing this builds resilience, which is especially important in a world where opinions and criticisms are constant and often magnified online.

The approach to dealing with criticism includes a powerful tactic: detachment. There’s real strength in choosing not to respond to negativity. It’s not about suppressing feelings, but instead about choosing our battles wisely to maintain peace of mind. This way of handling situations shows that our worth isn’t tied to others’ approval.

In practical terms, when dealing with hurtful comments or criticism, consider writing out your feelings as a way to emotionally vent – without escalating the situation. Whether it’s composing an email you never Intend to send or expressing frustration aloud in private, these actions let us process emotions and let them pass, just like clouds moving across the sky.

Also, adopting a stance of defenselessness in the face of criticism can be surprisingly powerful. Agreeing with a critic or responding with humor can disarm and redirect the interaction, making the criticism less burdensome. This tactic not only helps maintain our own inner peace but can also frustrate the critic, altering the dynamics of the exchange.

Through these insights, we discover that our well-being largely depends on how we react to what's thrown our way. By embracing our inherent worth, understanding the subjective nature of advice and criticism, and managing our responses, we can handle life’s challenges with more ease and less anxiety.

Negative beliefs are often little more than wonky theories.

In today's fast-paced world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of waiting for success to bring us happiness. But happiness isn’t a product of success; rather, success is more likely to follow from a happy state of mind. This concept encourages us to embrace happiness in the here and now, recognizing that life doesn’t start at some future milestone – it’s happening right now!

A key to living in the present and enjoying each moment is adopting a lighter view of life. Ancient wisdom from the Roman philosopher Seneca suggests that there are two ways to view the world: as a series of miseries or as a grand comedy. Choosing the latter allows us to bear life’s challenges with ease and laughter, reminding us that most of our problems aren’t as serious as they seem. This perspective doesn’t mean ignoring pain or hardship, but rather handling them with a lighter heart and a smile whenever possible.

Don’t ask what’s wrong – find out what’s missing.

Embarking on a journey toward personal fulfillment often involves confronting unexpected challenges and setbacks. Rather than dwelling on what’s wrong when faced with these obstacles, a shift in perspective to consider what might be missing can open a pathway to creativity and growth. This approach not only eases stress but also fosters a nurturing and inventive environment that is essential for self-discovery and happiness.

One effective tool for self-exploration is the “What's missing for me?” exercise. This involves a personal audit where you list things you’ve never expressed a desire for, things you've felt sad about not receiving, or dreams you’ve never allowed yourself to pursue. The exercise encourages you to delve deep and continuously ask yourself, “What else?” This private reflection is aimed at uncovering latent desires and unmet needs.

Everyone is worthy of asking and receiving.

Are you someone who finds it hard to ask for help or receive assistance from others? If so, it’s important to realize that giving and receiving are natural parts of life, and both are essential for personal growth and happiness. Embracing this dynamic exchange can significantly ease everyday anxiety and improve your overall well-being.

Let’s delve into the significance of receiving with the same openness with which we give. Often, people feel comfortable offering help but hesitate to ask for it in return. This reluctance can stem from feelings of unworthiness. However, everyone deserves support and assistance, no matter how small the need may seem. Whether it’s someone offering to stow your luggage on a plane or holding the elevator door for you, these acts of kindness are part of a supportive societal exchange.

You can reduce stress by focusing on the essentials.

Imagine if the daily pressures and anxieties you feel could be significantly reduced just by shifting your mindset. The idea isn’t far-fetched; it revolves around the power of your thoughts and how they shape your reality. Stress, often seen as an external force, is largely influenced by our internal dialogues. What if by simply changing the way you think about your responsibilities and challenges, you could transform them into opportunities?

A practical step in this transformation is changing your “to-do” list into a “get-to-do” list. This subtle linguistic shift can dramatically alter your perception of daily tasks. Are you merely setting an alarm for work, or are you grateful for a job that motivates you to start your day early? Can you appreciate a burnt dinner as a sign of shared moments with your spouse? Or feel thankful for the energy that lets you dance, even when you’re tired? This approach helps foster a mindset of gratitude, easing the weight of day-to-day responsibilities.

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What is Stop Checking Your Likes about?

Stop Checking Your Likes (2020) is a practical guidebook focused on liberating individuals from the constraints of external approval. It offers actionable advice and mindset shifts to foster a life filled with confidence, joy, and ease, encouraging readers to pursue their desires without hesitation, regardless of their current struggles with self-doubt.

Stop Checking Your Likes Review

Stop Checking Your Likes (2020) delves into the negative impact of seeking external validation through social media and offers strategies for reclaiming our self-worth. Here's why this book is a compelling read:

Offers insightful perspectives and actionable tips to break free from the validation trap, fostering genuine self-esteem and confidence.
Empowers readers to prioritize authentic connection over online approval, leading to more fulfilling relationships and a healthier sense of self.
By sharing personal stories and research-backed advice, the book remains engaging and relatable, making the journey to self-acceptance both enlightening and enriching.

Who should read Stop Checking Your Likes?

Individuals seeking freedom from external validation and approval
Anyone wanting practical advice on boosting self-confidence
Readers looking for actionable personal and professional growth strategies

About the Author

Susie Moore is a life coach, personal development expert, and the author of best-selling books like What If It Does Work Out? She is a regular contributor to major publications like Forbes, Marie Claire, and Entrepreneur, as well as media platforms such as the Today show.

Categories with Stop Checking Your Likes

Motivation & Inspiration Personal Development Communication Skills

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