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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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The Confidence Gap summary
Russ Harris
A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
18 mins
Brief summary
The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris explores how to break free from self-doubt by using mindfulness and acceptance techniques. It offers actionable advice to transform fear into focused action and build genuine self-confidence.
Table of Contents
The Confidence Gap
Summary of 6 key ideas
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Reassessing your priorities
If you want to build more confidence, start by asking yourself, What does having confidence actually look like in my life? Maybe you’re like Dave, a physiotherapist in his fifties, finally ready to write the novel he’s been dreaming about for years. Or Claire, a shy receptionist in her thirties, working up the courage to start dating again. Then there’s Phil, an athlete struggling to stay calm under pressure during his tennis matches.
No matter your situation, the question remains the same: If you had unlimited confidence, how would your life be different? How would you move, speak, and treat yourself and others? What long-neglected goals would you finally pursue, and which fears would you leave behind? Sitting with these questions helps you uncover what truly matters – your core values.
Many self-help books emphasize goals when talking about confidence and motivation. We’ll explore goal-setting here too, but always through the lens of what drives you at a deeper level.
That’s because there’s a key difference between goals and values. Goals are things you complete – get the promotion, win the match, lose the weight. Values, on the other hand, are ongoing. They’re about how you live your life every single day: being kind, acting with integrity, showing curiosity, or staying determined. Goals might get ticked off a list, but values are part of who you are, moment by moment. And living by your values – even when goals may feel off in the distance or out of reach – provides its own deep sense of fulfillment that can keep you going.
While we’ll be focusing on values, we also need to tackle a common misconception that holds many of us back – the idea that we need to feel confident before we take action. In reality, that’s like putting the cart before the horse. Confidence isn’t something that magically appears; it’s something we build through action.
The formula is simple but powerful: take action first, and confidence follows. It’s through practice – sometimes messy, sometimes imperfect – that skills sharpen and start to feel natural. This is the confidence cycle: practice, apply, assess, adjust. Repeat that process, guided by your values, and confidence will start to feel like second nature.
In the next sections, we’ll break down exactly how this works. But first, let’s bust another big myth about that old adversary, fear.
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What is The Confidence Gap about?
The Confidence Gap (2010) offers a refreshing approach to combating self-doubt and overcoming the constant pressure to be more confident. With practical tools, and strategies on how to embrace your fears rather than fight them, it offers a path to break free from the cycle of perfectionism and start living a life aligned with your values.
Who should read The Confidence Gap?
- Self-doubters
- Procrastinators and perfectionists
- Anyone who feels constrained by fear
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